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[stargazer]

[Karen]

Stargazer - If you don't feel there is any point in coming then that's fine. I won't force you.

Yes I want to be discharged and that's what I'll push for so if you don't agree then I understand if you don't want to come.

you will just go back to how you were and I won't be able to do a thing about it, so tell me how can it help?

Seems everyone thinks that and is making me choose between anorexia and them. It's an impossible choice I want and need both.

Karen xx

[Piglet]

Seems everyone thinks that and is making me choose between anorexia and them. It's an impossible choice I want and need both.

Karen xx

No Karen they are making you decide between life and death!!

Piglet

[Dying_Swan]

Karen

How are you doing today? How was your weekend?

From what I can see here, Stargazer is being put in a really horrible situation. As your friend, she wants to support you, but she doesn't agree with what you want to do to yourself - that's the message I'm getting. I don't know what on earth I would do if I was faced with that situation. The fact that she is saying she doesn't feel it would help, rather than just blindy go along with what you want, says to me that she is a true friend, and that is worth bearing in mind.

I don't think anyone wants you to choose between Anorexia and friends. Your friends have stuck by you throughout. If they don't agree with you pushing for discharge, it doesn't mean they aren't your friends. It just means that they cannot agree because they don't think it is best for you.

Piglet is quite right - people want you to choose life over death, because that is the ultimate decision facing you.

You say you 'need' anorexia. I would dispute that, but I think I can understand it to some extent. Something to work on with the CBT therapist there.

But you want it? That part is beyond me. The bottom line is, it's anorexia and your determination to keep hold of it that keeps sending you to hospital, not CMHT's or GP's or Dieticians. It's anorexia that stops you going out because you fear people thinking you are fat, and it's anorexia that gets you up in the night to eat. None of it is real or true - it's a deceptive and vicious illness and I truly hope you feel ready to give it up sooner rather than later.

Sorry to be harsh again. I've not had an eating disorder and so I can only say things as I see them. I respect you enough to be frank with you.

Anyway - lecture over!

I hope today is a good day for you

xxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Karen

I have just been reading an article about young girl whom had anorexia and who wanted to give others hope and show them that it can be beaten, not sure if you have read it hun.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1774

Its always good to read success storys it gives others hope and the strength that our problems can be beaten and that we can rebuild our lives.

I have been thinking of you Karen

Andrea
xxxxx

[stargazer]

I don't think I will go Karen, as I don't want to lie to them and say I am helping you when I have seen you twice, and those two times were by chance, since you discharged yourself, it seems, at the moment you do not want to accept my help so it is probably best I don't go because I won't be able to hide my true feelings I do so hope you understand but know that I am here for you when you feel able to accept my help or my friendship I am hurting inside that you do not come and see me just for a chat just about anything or just even for a cuppa. Just know I am here

[belle]

Stargazer...
As a "recovering" bulimic myself, i can see clearly that Karen does NOT want help. For as long as she is using terms like she WANTS and NEEDS anorexia, there's NO amount of words that will make her change her mind.

It is brilliant that Karen still sees the CBT therapist and its someone she trusts. Karen HAS to want to be well...and at the moment, its
blatantly obvious, thats not on the agenda.

x

[stargazer]

So Bluebell are you saying I am wrong in not going my head is spinning I don't know what to do

[belle]

Oh no, absolutely not, you are not wrong. I am saying it doesn't matter if you are there or not, if you say good things or the truth, Karen is DETERMINED to keep her 'relationship' with anorexia. The same with all the good members that come here and 'try' and convince Karen that she is killing herself (slowly), it goes in one ear and our the other. To have the ideal in your head of a BMI of 13 is not showing any hint of wanting to recover. Karen is in too deep with her illness and it will be only her to decide if she's ready to get well.

I hope what i am saying is not offending anyone, its just that i have been there and done that for a long long time. I know how the anorexic mind works as i have said many times, it took a trip in the ambulance with my heart not working properly due to my ED to make me snap out of it. Since i come home from the hospital i have not touched a single laxative and i will NEVER do so again....i am too scared too, i now know how fragile my heart is :(

x

[Piglet]

Stargazer

Love Piglet