Not too good today.

[stucoo]

I had a good day yesterday where I felt I had my emotions under control and even had glimpses of feeling normal. Today, my leg feels strange and my health anxiety is rearing its head. My problem is that because my symptoms (tingling etc) match what I have read on an MS website I have convinced myself that I have MS, even though the doctors say I do not. I feel that even if they gave me an MRI scan and the result was normal I still wouldn't believe them. It is an obsession that I am unable to get rid off and it is totally ruining my life. It interupts my daily routine, it plagues me in the shower - I can not make it go away.

Rant over

Stuart

[FAN]

hi i was always looking for an illness that matched my symptoms and im afraid the net came up with all sorts of diseases etc that i couldnt possibly have but i convinced myself i had, i think deep down you know its your anxiety but seeing it in black and white will only make you examine further if you have these illnesses. the doc has said your ok so try to take that on board i know its not easy but read through the posts on here im sure half of us will be or have been doing what you have so it is normal to feel this way try not to worry

fan x

[SickofIt]

stucoo,
Do not read anymore health-related websites! I know it sounds simple, but you have to stop reading that kind of thing. The more you read, the more you're going to think you have MS (or something else).
Even those without health anxiety or any other kind of anxiety will start to think they have an illness by reading about it.

[Clive Edwards]

Hi Stuart

i'm with you mate. been ok for a few days and today feel on edge. I get aches and pains in my chest and convince myself everytime that i have heart problems. I've been told repeatedly that i'm healthy and my heart is ok. but once a twinge occurs i find it difficult to stay calm and rationalise the fears and it gets me down just the same - I'm also like you even when told you're ok you don't believe it. i find if i can't stop it quickly it really gets a hold and i spiral down. i hate it. it takes a huge effort to stay on track and it affects my work. I'm sure people think 'god is he still doing that' they've no idea how debilitating it is. I try and focus on good things i've done, my wife and kids, holidays we've been on and the fun we've had - it takes a while but eventually it subsides.

i find just typing a message back helps me, occupies my mind for a while, along with reading all the posts.

keep your chin up and try not to dwell

All the best Clive

[lisarose]

Hi Stuart,

I totally know how you feel, I have had health anxiety for 5 years and find it really hard to deal with. I am alot better than i used to be since starting medication in August but the thoughts of serious illness are never far from my mind. I have had many different tests over the years and have read so many medical books that i feel I know more than the doctors sometimes. Every test I had came back normal and I would be fine for a while until I got another symptom which I would look up and I would rush back off to the doctors in panic. I have slowly started to accept that all my symptoms are due to anxiety, but I still sometimes have the nagging doubts that it could be something more sinister. You are not alone with this fear and since finding this website I realise there are so many other people that suffer the same thing which is some comfort. Do you find yourself getting depressed about the symptoms becuase I did and I get really frustrated when i have bad days as I think I am over it and then some thing else will crop up and all my fears return.

Chin up and take care
Love Lisaxx

[Meg]

And how many of your symptoms - tingling etc also match those on our symptom page ?

[davidr]

Hello Stuart,

I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. My aunt had MS and I grew up with her and watched her trying to cope I have always dreaded the disease. It does have a definite pattern of development and your doctors will be well aware of this, if they had any doubts they would make sure you have an MRI and lumbar puncture asap.

If you had MS your MRI would show scarring in the brain this would be as a result of the myelin (the sheath around the nerves) being damaged as MS attacks this sheath or protective covering. The MRI machine is a very expensive piece of equipment and extremely sensitive to detecting this type of neurological damage. You could have confidence in knowing it would detect any such disease.

The best thing is to try and have trust in your medical advisors as things stand and understand these symptons are also related to anxiety which you appreciate is a possibility as you are on this board. You have taken an important step in reaching out for support. You will have bad days Stuart where things are overwhelming and you will also have days when you feel well, the road to recovery is simply trying to ensure the good ones slowly start to out number the bad.

I am making enormous changes in my life and spending a lot of time on improving my condition but I still have really bad days. I spent the whole of yesterday in bed with palpatations and sickness but today I got up and mowed the lawn, fed the birds and did some shopping and I hope to be well tomorrow but accept I may not be. Good Luck and keep posting there are plenty of people on here going through the same pain and willing to help and support you Stuart.

[stucoo]

Hi everyone and thanks for the replies.

I would have replied sooner but my wife took me away on a surprise weekend to London for my birthday. She thought I needed cheering up.

Meg - I wish I had found this site last year before I started symptom surfing. My various symptoms do match the ones listed here. Also apart from the constant anxiety nothing serious has happened to me.

Lisarose - I do find myself getting depressed. Sometimes I get myself so scared that I feel like being sick. What medication are you taking?

davidr - My therapist says I have to trust people and believe what i'm told. It's not easy, when I don't feel good.

Thanks again,

Stuart

[Meg]

Stucoo,

So , progress.. you accept that a persons set of symptoms may match several sets within many illnesses....

Thus just because the MS one is one of the first you found and pored over does not make it the correct diagnosis..

I'm just asking you to open your mind to the possibility that it might not be the definative diagnosis. There may be other factors and one of those may be anxiety...


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[davidr]

Hi Stuart,
Good to hear you had a nice birthday. Did you feel better when you were away, did it relieve any of your symptons? I have found it important to keep a record of my symptons etc in a diary and use it to match up feelings with certain situations and thought patterns. Did a joyful event such as last weekend improve things for example, did you find yourself thinking less about your internal messages and sensations, or was it the same or even worse?