Hospital appointment

[mumjoe]

Tomorrow i have to take my daughter into hospital for a minor operation, my husband is coming as well because i am unable to go anywhere without his support.I am terrified and already starting to panic. While im writing this i feel my heart beating faster and faster and my hands starting to shake. I dont want my daughter to see me in this state as she has her own worries about her op. I really dont want to go but i cant let her down as she needs my support but when im feeling this way i feel useless as a mother. Has anyone any ideas on how i can get through tomorrow in one piece? ( I do not take any anti depressants as they make me feel sick)

[jacq]

Hi Mumjoe,

I totally understand how you are feeling as i was in the same position last year except my daughter was admitted as an emergency not a planned appointment. They thought she had perthes disease and may need an operation during the night so one of us was going to have to stay with her. Well i knew it wasn't going to be me but was also terrified as i don't go anywhere without my husband and felt so guilty that i would rather he was with me than staying with our youngest who was only 7 at the time. In the end i stayed at my mom and dads with my eldest and my husband kept his mobile on silent all night so i could reach him. But i still had 3 days where we had to spend all day in the hospital and the only way i coped was firstly explaining to my husband how i wanted him to help me if i freaked out ( i was scared of everyone crowding me and staring) and secondly i kept telling myself that if i did have an attack i was in the best possible place for immediate help, it was a terrible time and anyone who tells you that in an emergency you forget all about yourself and the panic and concentrate on the child has never felt true panic, it is a very selfish condition that revolves around the sufferer and not their family. I look back now and my husband will say i coped really well when in fact i spent a manic 3 days trying to keep it together -- but i did and am really glad that my daughter never realised why i couldn't stay with her. Good luck and have a good talk with your partner before you go as to how he can help you get through it.

Jacq x

[mumjoe]

Thanks Jacq, reading your thread sounded like id written it myself. I Know exactly how you felt. Just to let you know i made it to the hospital with the support of my husband and I'm so proud of myself . I had a few minor blips but managed to get over them with some rescue remedy and breathing exercises. I now feel really exhausted but still in one peice. mumjoe

[sheba2]

I really know how you feel as I have been in the same situation. Agree with the bit about not being able to forget your own problems in an emergency the panic attack is much bigger than that but like you I got through and was pleased with myself. I keep a record of all the things I succeed at big and small even if I panic when I look back at them I realise how far I've come.