Phone Calls

[GemmaAnn]

Its come to my attention recently that I really dont like talking on the phone to people I dont know :S not even that but when a friend rings me I have to think twice, maybe three times before picking it up, and then im nervous!

Is this just me? it seems very strange because I have more chance of looking stupid if im with the person, but the phone just makes me break out into a cold sweat
funnily enough im ok with the home phone, probably because its never for me. But even if I dont answer my mobile when people call I then feel incredibly guilty and stupid because they probably know im screening it!

Im not really sure what to do about it lol ... any thoughts?

[leisa]

hi gemma i feel 4 u,my hubby the same he just goes blank when hes on the phone,im the opposite im confident on the phone but hate coming face 2 face with people cause i blush & panic then i feel an idiot cause they can see me!!!,i think u probably making it a big issue,just try n relax & go with the flow,if u let it ring & think about it u make it worse,the more u do & face it the easier it will get,good luck babexxxleisa

[AceR1mmer]

Im nervous using the phone, especialy as you said, when its somone you dont know.
People cant tell if ur screening just by you not answering, theres loads of reasons, "did'nt hear it" "got it on silent" "did'nt have it on me" "it was in my bag" so dont feel guilty.

[Lilith1980]

GemmaAnn - that could have been me writing that post. I get so anxious when I know I have to make a phone call!

I cant really offer any advice other that "just do it".

I remember I was waiting for a woman to call me back about a job I'd applied for and the days were ticking by but I didnt want to phone her in case I annoyed her at being too pushy.

My b/f said I wouldnt find out if I didnt phone and maybe she was just busy. So I just dialled the number and sure enough, she'd been snowed under and had forgotten about me!

I now do try and just pick up the phone instead of avoiding it but some days its hard.

Jo xxxxx

[LucyA]

Gemma,
Don't worry you're completely normal! My housemates and I have an agreement that if we need to make a phone call to someone who isn't a friend or family (telephone banking, about a job, ordering takeaway etc.) then we have to be alone to do it. I'm so nervous of messing up a phone call I have to pace around the room whilst I'm talking to them, and quite often I don't pick up to phone calls if I don't know the number (depends on my mood).

I think it's something that gets easier with time and certainly with practice, just remind yourself- 'what's the worst that could happen?!'. Good luck hun
xx

[RachaelShambles]

i hate answering the phone! if i have to call someone, ill reherse what im going to say over and over again so i wont get it wrong

[GemmaAnn]

haha ok well at least i dont feel alone!

I know what you mean about pacing round and practicing what you are going to say ... if i have to call someone i dont know i get really shakey and i have to rehearse it over and over, the phone ringing sound is awful!
I feel like if I call my friends they might be busy and be like ''oh god what is she phoning for'' or ''I really dont want to talk to her'' dont really know how to move past that tho!

I guess in the end its anxiety mixed with low self esteem, the more I do it the better I will get i hope

Thanks for your replies

xx

[Nibbles]

Hi Gemma,

I'm not a keen user of the phone either and it's a really common problem as this thread shows! I think your spot on in that the more you do it, and as your self esteem grows, speaking on the phone will get easier. I found since I got my job (which requires some phone work) I've become more confident on it.

Take care,

Mike