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Thread: Attitude

  1. #1
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    Attitude

    There is an elderly man I know who used to fly fighter jets after WW2. He was telling me about all the fellow pilots he lost in accidents. I asked him if it ever "worried" him and he said no because it wasn't worth "worrying" about as it'd be so quick if it ever happened.

    I also know a man of 90 who has been through some bad illnesses. Each time he's bounced back treating each illness as just "life". The other day he had broken the sole on his shoe and we all "worried" about him falling over but he couldn't "care less". We all had our hearts in our mouths when he actually did fall and we were "worried" he'd really hurt himself. As we picked him up he was laughing to himself for being so silly walking around with a broken sole! This wasn't the first time either!

    Needless to say neither of these people suffer from anxiety but then again they wouldn't with their "attitude" to life.

    We are of a different make up where things get to us but imagine if we could change the way we "think" to adopt the same "attitude" towards our fears and anxieties to help us cope with "life"...........because it IS possible.

  2. #2
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    Re: Attitude

    Hi Bill, I like that post and you are so right, our attitudes have a lot to answer for.

    I have just been down town this morning and felt so unreal!!! I was, in a manner of speaking, holding my own hand!! Telling myself I would be fine and that nothing bad was going to happen and to just get on with what I was doing. The feelings did get less as I kept talking to myself so that was good. But I felt like I was on another planet for a while!!

    On Tuesday I drove 50 miles in the car on my own!. Its the furthest I have driven on my own since 2 years ago. I felt a bit starnge when I got there - Dobbies Garden Centre outside Preston - but the feelings subsided as I looked around. I wondered what would happen if I didnt feel up to driving back home! But that was the anxiety talking. I told myself not to be silly, I had always driven home before and I drove home that day too. I stayed at the Garden Centre an hour then headed back.

    I am still dealing with the feelings of unreality though. But the silly thing is, when I am not focussed on it, its not there - it doesnt exist. Anyone else find this?

    Best Wishes
    Shirley

  3. #3

    Re: Attitude

    Well done for driving 50 miles - that took a lot of courage. By the way, i'm near Dobbies in Preston!

  4. #4
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    Re: Attitude

    The reason olderly people have a better attitude to life is because of the diet they grew up with.

    Todays diet is full of omega 6 and hardly any omega 3,
    this alone causes people to be more violent and unstable.

    Also these days theres a "feelings are for wimps" attitude, everyone bottles up everything.
    __________________
    "...Cause it's always raining in my head"

  5. #5
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    Re: Attitude

    Hi Bill,

    I am a child of the 60's and I am amazed at the changes which have occurred during my lifetime.Imagine the life experiences and changes lived through by the men in your post!
    Stiff upper lip and get on with it.
    Those men are part of an awe-inspiring generation.
    Best wishes,
    Chalky

  6. #6
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    Re: Attitude

    A really thought provoking post bill. Having suffered with panic attacks for most of my life I have spent the last 8 months with counselling trying to change the way I think and feel ie my attitude. I was brought up by the older generation that you talk of and both my parents were in the forces during the second world war. I have always been amazed at there ability to cope. My mother who is now 88 was woken recentlly by a burglar in her bedroom the stuff of nightmares and yet she has coped incredibly well and hasn't let it bother her at all. My question to myself has been why aren't I like that then if I had such great role models. When I was growing up I had this strict background of be strong get on with things and above all don't be a nuisance. This made me scared of everything especially my own ability to cope. I've always been a coward according to my mum never daring and able to fight back when necessary. This is the attitude I am trying to change. I am trying really hard to believe in myself and my ability to look after myself. I don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about every detail. In the past I've had periods of being really on top of things but the panic has always returned. I think I always felt as though I was playing a part. This time I am determined to get to the bottom of these feelings and change the pattern of a lifetime.

    By the way well done basilcat for that huge achievement.

  7. #7
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    Re: Attitude

    Hi Emlou, Thanks for that, it did take a lot of courage. I will try and go somewhere different next week. Thats a co-incidence by the way that you live near Dobbies!!

    Sheba, Thanks, it was a huge achievement. I will get back to you soon ok. At the moment I am just having to get on with my houswork but I will reply to your message over the weekend sometime, as, although I have not suffered with anxiety as long as you, I have had 4 episodes of it during the last 30 years and this is the longest of the lot! And there are similar things about our lives. I am 50 years old by the way.

    Back soon.
    Take Care
    Shirley

  8. #8
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    Re: Attitude

    I understand what you are saying Bill and like Chalky says these men are part of an awe inspiring generation and one who did have a stiff upper lip. My Grandad was one of these men and the thing that i remember about him apart from his courage was his lack of emotion and inability to be tactile even with those closest to him. I would have dearly loved for him to have told me and my girls that he loved me but he never did as these guys didn't show emotion and even getting a hug was a big thing. My Gran is the same at the wonderful age of 86. Like the two people you are talking of she doesn't suffer from anxiety and is of the old era when you were told to pull yourself together! When Grandad died my daughter was crying and hugging her gran who was standing there showing absolutley no emotion as that's how she was brought up to react!
    There is no way i would make a sweeping statement as say all elderly people are the same but many i know do have this stiff upper lip attitude where you simply don't show your feelings.
    I agree with you that we are a different make up and i think it's not a bad thing as the people of this generation are able to show their feelings and vulernability and that's not a bad thing in my book!

    Pink

  9. #9
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    Re: Attitude

    Yes, I agree we must Never generalise about Any group of people because we're all individual with different personalities.

    The elderly people I've mentioned do have a different makeup to me and probably all of us on here. However, there have been elderly people I've known who are exactly the same as us!

    One I knew who was around 90 had a terrible fear of illness. Even my mother in her 80's still suffers fear. She's had a bad foot recently and was prescribed some meds but as soon as she read the side-effects they "could" cause, she refused to take them so she is still hobbling around. As a result, she was telling me she was getting nightmares of trying to run away from something but couldn't escape. She couldn't understand why though until I explained that her inability to go out is making her feel "trapped" just like anxiety would cause the same dreams for us!

    My father was also a very sensitive man and a terrible worrier! He was always told he lacked confidence too.

    One man I knew who served during the war, told me he couldn't drink a beer at the time because his hands wouldn't stop shaking with fear! I think we'd all be like that but often they felt they couldn't tell people because they all felt they had to "appear" strong when they felt terrified inside.

    A lady I know in her 70's can't hold a cup of tea without shaking, simply because of nerves!!!

    Which leads to another point really. These elderly people all suffer or have suffered from anxiety which proves that anxiety doesn't actually harm us even though it makes us feel so ill.

    The point is that we all have different makeups but we don't have to let our makeup control our lives. We can always develop new ways of coping to regain our lives. Even a highly confident person is always looking to better their life but in different ways with different priorities to us.

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