The Return

[Bill]

Some of you may remember that before Christmas I had a bad fall bruising my ribs etc when I was delivering some equipment.

It's been a long time coming but today I got a call asking me to go back to deliver again for the first time since my accident.

Immediately in the back of my mind I've had that irrational thought saying "what if" it happens again and then I start feeling anxious and panicky about it. And yet, my rational mind keeps saying I know why it happened and what I did wrong so it won't happen again. It was Just a bad day!

It reminded me of panic attacks how we can be experiencing bad times and without realising the pressures we're under, one day we're out and experience a bad panic attack. It frightens us so much that we find it too difficult to go back to where we experienced the attack because we fear it happening again.

Thinking "what if" it happens again creates our anxious feelings so that when we do go back to the same situation, our minds then re-create the panic attack........even though often the actual causes that created the first original attack are no longer present. It becomes fear of experiencing fear and that fear then causes our attack.

Often it's Not confronting the situation where we experienced the attack that needs treating but more often changing or treating whatever the pressures are in a sufferers life that caused the panic attack in the first place.

For instance, if someone is feeling under a huge amount of pressure in their workplace, they often feel trapped with no means of escape. This trapped feeling then creates anxiety causing panic attacks that can occur Anywhere.

If someone has experienced bad events in their past, these too can create anxieties causing panic attacks.

Finding a new job, getting help to help us move on, help us come to terms with our past or overcome our fears that are causing us to feel trapped are often more effective than confronting situations where the panic attack occur because even if we overcome a fear of one situation, while the underlying causes of our anxieties are still present, the panic attacks will simply re-surface in another situation where we feel trapped. In each situation we actually feel trapped, we act out the underlying feelings of being trapped in our "lives" that are being caused by our past or present.

[kaz79]

I do indeed believe that moving on, getting new job etc helps. When I overcame my PAs last time round, I had hypnotherapy and at around the same time I started a new job that I enjoyed and really got involved in. I really think this was a major contributing factor in helping me to find a job.
I am currently trying to find work now after being off work for over a year to have babies but finding childcare is difficult, not to mention expensive.
It going to be a struggle but I hope it will work out.
Im glad you haven't got stuck in the viscious circle of 'what ifs'.

[chalky]

Hi Bill,

It's good to hear that you are on the mend.
I had a fall last year and cracked two ribs-the pain lasted muh longer than the fall.I also smashed my glasses so it was an expensive trip.
I never cease to be amazed at how quickly the what-ifs can resurface.
If normal thinking travels at 40mph,the what-ifs are in the motorway fast lane.
Someone once told me to "give time time".
Time to change my thinking,patience with time-this is not a rush job,gradual progressive change leading to a stronger,deeper sense of well-being.Allowing the what-ifs to gently fade and blurr into distant memory.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[blackie]

Hiya
sorry to hear about the ribs. Sounds painful but glad your better now. What you are saying makes loads of sense.
Did you manage to go back to work and feel ok?
Take care
Blackie

[sagey]

Hello Bill. I like what you are saying here and I wonder what you would think about me being complacent about being trapped ? when it's become a way of life almost.

[Bill]

Hello sagey,

If we're not happy in our lives, rather than tackling all our problems in one go, we need to find ways to make small improvements that are more realistic and achievable. With each small hurdle we tackle so our confidence will build each time so that in the end "our way of life" has completely changed for the better.

Tackling everything in one go can feel too much and too daunting, and if we focus too much on the bigger picture, we can demoralise ourselves thinking everything is hopeless.

As the old saying goes, from little acorns do big oaks grow.

If you can elaborate, I maybe able to offer more.

[sagey]

Bill, I'll get back to you tomorrow. sagey.

[jill]

Hi Bill,

Great thread, as always I just love the way you explain thngs

When I was acute, reading through this site, my mind was sooo negative, it was dame hard trying to understand what I was reading, every time I read things Mrs anxiety was always there showing me ALL the negatives.

I new I had to learn about panic, anxiety, but never even gave it a thought, AT THAT TIME, that I should be trying to fix my negative thinking on my day to day things, the things that caused my stress, or the things that seemed to trigger my higher levels of anxiety, or any anxiety for that matter, no matter how little it was, and to learn MORE about ME, my attatued towards life. When I looked at my life and the way I was thinking, there were lots of places I felt trapped and felt I could not do anything about, mmm, not sure if mentioning them would help anyone else, but there where lots, some people may think that they may be little things, but to me, I know now, that dealing with the little things, help me move on a little.

It took alot of reading through this site, the info Nic has but on and the info that is in all threads, threads like yours to know and understand, how to learn how to change my way of thinking, it helped me understand that, looking for poitive pathways through no matter what I was dealing with, even the little things, helped soooo much.

Bill, I think ALL, your threads have alot of great advice in them, you have a way of explaning things well, keep up the good work, ohh your a star. Just wish I could explain things as well as you.

I have not had a pa or high anxiety in a long time, still have a few things to work on, but moving forward all the time.

You take care

LOVE JILLXXX

[Bill]

Chalky, sorry to hear you had a bad fall too! Sounds like yours was worse than mine! Takes an age to heal, don't they and So painful so I can empathise with how you must have felt!

Jill, thank you for your kind words. You explain things perfectly well too!!!

I think when we get So low and feel So anxious, we feel we're surrounded by a black cloud and so can't see the small glimmer of light which would guide us out. I've always believed in "hope". Even when I was so desperate and nearly ended it all, "hope" was there to pull me back from the abyss. I didn't see it or realise it but it was still there within me and as soon as I changed my outlook and started to help myself, things very gradually improved. I'm not saying I'm cured but compared to how I used to be, in lots of ways I'm a new more able person.

Someone once told me, the worse things become, the stronger you grow. There are people on here who have been through Far worse things than me but I Believe that they will become Stronger than me as a result. We are all stronger than we realise. If people wrote down their achievements, they'd realise just how strong they Really are. So often anxiety makes us feel weak and pathetic, unable to do things but do we ever give up and stop fighting for a "normal" life? No, we Always believe in "hope" because we have strength within us to survive....just as you've proved Jill!