Things are really coming to a head lately and dont know where to turn, last year i went to dr and she said i have mild agrophobia, doesnt feel mild to me as everday is a struggle but would say i am better than i used to be.
I have a fear of going out but i find once i am out it isnt as bad as i make it out to be, i am fine if someone is with me, normally feel safest when hubby is with me.
Been feeling awful since saturday, hubby suggested i go into aberdeen for a days shopping, taken our eldest son with me and to go in on the bus, was really getting worked up about it but managed it, felt myself getting panicky though while there but kept going.
The thing that freaked me out was when we were at the bus station and a gut approached us begging for money as he wanted money for a b and b for the night, i felt very uneasy and gave him some loose change to get rid of him, told hubby and he said i should have said no, well what if he was on drugs etc all right for him but he wasnt with me.
Been on edge ever since and feel quite scared, went out for a walk today but only cause i had to.
My life is also a complete mess, house could be tidier, i could be doing more with the kids, im not exercising, im eating rubbish and feel my life is going nowhere, dont have anyone really to turn to, did go to cbt last year which helped but dont want to go again.
sorry for the rant, just wanted to offload really
i have no friends, just feel so alone.
susie