UNHAPPY

[linjane]

Hi Angie,

No I haven't tried that!! I can't believe you have had them for so long as well. Are they REALLY not dangerous!!! To right they are worse around the time your period is due but I also get them around ovulation time as well. I just hate feeling the fluttering, like there is a butterfly in my chest and then I try so hard not to check my pulse, which I still do most of the time!! I am feeling much calmer now, so this site obviously works.

I really hope you can overcome your panic before it takes a grip, you certainly sound like you will!!
Linda.xx

[katiekatie]

Linda

I'm really sorry your mother in law isn't more helpful than she is, but after a few more saturdays of helping you may feel a bit of the strain lifting.. (i hope so)

One day isn't enough, but he DID make an effort and don't let the negative thoughts be-little that, let him know how much you appreciated it and try to plan another day that ou can have a 'special day' when you both make an effort to do something nice for each other.

I found that vitamin e helped my PMT a lot and also made my periods lighter and gave me less cramps, just a suggestion.

Keep your chin up, you are amazingly strong and when you have dealt with some of your things from the past you will be so much stronger, I know its easy to say and I am a state right now too, but I know that I will give my counselling my everything and in time I will be able to deal with things a lot better and you will too, at least you are not bottling everything up now.

big hugs
katiekatie x

[linjane]

Thanks Katie,

I have talked about everything to my friends. I think what I have bottled up are my emotions, I am good at talking (and typing) but not good at really showing my true feelings, that is where I went wrong in the past, I think. I am really lucky, because my one friend (the one in Telford) is more like family and she knows absolutely everything about me, but I think the counsellor looks at things differently and gets me to look at things differently and also asks questions which are different to what you'd think. He linked the fact that my dad had an affair all those years ago, to my husbands and I had never thought about that as a link before.

All we can do is try, but I really hope it works, for all of us who are going through this. If I can help you in anyway, please let me know, I am here for you too.

Love,
Linda.xxx

[seh1980]

hi Linda,

I have no idea how you cope with so much going on in your life. You really do deserve a medal hun!! I would have given up long ago if I had been through all you have...In my opinion, your husband is being very selfish (hope you don't mind me saying). Just because he works, doesn't mean that he shouldn't also have responsibilities at home and with the kids. It sounds like you have to cope with a lot more than he does and it's not fair that he doesn't share the burden with you. Maybe you should sit him down and explain how rushed off your feet you are and that you don't think you can cope anymore without some help from him...don't know what else to suggest..

Sarah

[vernon]

None of my buissines but sur your bubby can do things for the kids? I worked long hours for low pay but always took kids out for a hour at night and enjoyed playing with them weekends etc to give wife a break. If he dont leave till 10am couldnt he get kids up dress them, do a bit of washing etc then drop them off at your shop before he goes?

[Tracy68]

Linda
Are you sure you're not my long lost twin or something? lol we seem to have such similar things happen to us.
Four years ago me and my ex husband were going through a rough patch, you know how it is you try and hang on to the last piece of thread dangling to get it to work. But he made the decision and decided to sleep with my next door neighbour of all people. WOW what a blow that was. He left 2 days later as i couldn't bring myself to take him back but the worse thing was that for the next 18 months i had to put up with the fact that SHE was still living next door.....that was horrible, smug little cow. Sorry was bashing the keyboard then lol.
I'm the same as Angie, I could never forgive a man who cheated. So your hubby should realise what a damn lucky bloke he is really.
I do agree with Katie when she said does it have to be your husband who asks for the help. You know what men can be like. They do get embarassed and constantly think if they ask for help they're some kind of failure [Duh!] lol.
Keep your chin up hun.
Tracy
xx

[sal]

Hi Linda

You have had a lot of losses to come to terms with and everyone grieves in different ways. But as you pointed out you cant change the people you have lot but you can build something better with your husband if you both want to.

You have a very busy life and do remarkably well and you do need that support of him. He in the past betrayed you in the worst way possible and he has to be able to deal with how you feel and if you need to delve deeper to regain respect then he should stand by you and let you do so.

I am sure he is worried that the councellor will point out things between you and him with regards the affair and maybe worrying that this will push you further apart. But before you move on in your life and with how you are suffering, you maybe do need answers that can help you leave it in the past and move on to better things.

I hope it all works out for you and he starts helping out more with the children and you and him can spend some quality time together.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[doddy]

alan sugar is the media mogul, he has that tv serious the apprentice,

anyway, after eading some more of your replies you must stop feeling guilty, you are without doubt a truly barve, courageous, caring mother who from what i can read is doing a fantatsic job of providing for her kids as well as dealing with all these other issues virtually on your own.

you deserve a medal and i can tell u now there are many many people who couldnt cope like you are with all you have to handle.

you shouldnt feel guilty you should feel proud!!!

so turn that frown up sidedown!!

take care

doddy

[sal]

Hi Linda

How are things going for you at the moment?

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[linjane]

Hi everyone,

Thanks again for all of your support. Sorry not been posting for last few days, but yesterday we had a day out as a family (even though it turned out our daughter wasn't well but didn't want to tell us cuz she wanted to go out!!!!!) and by the time we got back in and sorted the kids for bed, thats where I was ready for too!!!

In reply to some of the questions some of you have asked... I have sat my husband down - many times - to explain how much I have to do etc.. but it doesn't usually go too well. He has helped out this morning with the little one, getting him ready etc. but for example, last night, we thought our daughter might not be able to go to school today, cuz she wasn't well and I asked him what I could do (ie he could ask his mom, or his brother who doesn't work) and he said it was too short notice. I quite sarcastically said, in future I'll ask our daughter to give us three weeks notice before she is ill next time!!!!! Obviously that didn't go down too well!!! When I said to him I might have to close the shop if she wasn't well enough he just said, well you haven't got much choice really have you! If he takes time off he doesn't get paid, but as he also drives for his job he feels he can't let them down! With regards to my mother in law, she doesn't really like me, when my husband had his affair she asked me what I had done to deserve it, and also said I shouldn't have been looking for evidence!!! She is very a very strange person and we did used to get on very well but I have given up constantly being nice to her, to get nothing in return. She has done some stuff over the years that is not nice but at the end of the day, she is my husbands mom and I can't expect him to see her for being any different. I sound like a right b**ch now, don't I!!!???

I think what Sal said about the Counsellor is right and he probably is frightened of what will come out. I know I feel differently about him now, but deep down I do love him and when he is around he is brilliant with the kids, you can't knock him as a dad at all. I hope we will be able to work through it and he can deal with me sorting my head out.

About all of my bereavements. WHO WATCHES CORRIE????? Fridays episode had me in tears because Ray Langton reminds me so much of my dad. The circumstances with him and Tracy are different because I went out of my way to go and see my dad but it brought it home to me that I really do miss him, even after he has been gone for nearly 17years and I thought I had dealt with him! I think I finally realised that I missed the years that he had been gone from our lives from when I was 10 to 20 and my counsellor was so right when he said this was when I started blocking stuff out and just getting on with things. Got loads to talk to him about on Wednesday!!

Lastly, back to needing reassurance about ectopics again. Tracy are you there, my long lost twin!!!! Had loads all day Saturday but only a few yesterday and had some so far today. What I found scary last night, I felt one and then felt my pulse (in my throat, which I know I shouldn't) and when you feel it going slightly off course, then the pause and the fluttering feeling in your chest it does still scare me and I still need to know how they can't be dangerous and doing damage to my heart. I know I am a total nuisance with this but please humour me, if I could just get past these things I would be able to cope with other stuff.

You have all been so wonderful and I truly feel like I have a new set of friends. Thankyou and hope to hear from you all soon.

Take care,
Lots of love,
Linda.xxx