Loss of self

[jude]

Hi all,

I had to post a PM to Meg before posting this, as I was too afraid. She has given me the confidence to go ahead, so here I am....

Whenever I try to 'feel' a sense of self, I cant feel anything. I feel as though I dont exist any more. I cant 'feel' anything.
I asked Meg whether this is a type of DP/DR. She reasured me that it is.
It is the most scary feeling imaginable and impossible to escape from. All I can do is try to ignore it.
I wondered if any one else feels like this. I have been too scared to post these feelings in case everyone thought I was really mad and that I was 'losing it' cos thats exactly how it feels. This feeling...or the fear of it....is stopping me from getting better. I thought I was the only person who could possible 'dream up' such an idea as not feeling as though I exist. It even sounds 'nuts' to me.
Anyway, Iv posted my most inner fear now. Thats all there is. Its over and done with. All my most inner secrets shared with you.
Thank you all, especially Meg, for helping me to get all these despairing thoughts out. I would never have had the courage any where else.
Jude xx

[nomorepanic]

Jude

I had this for years. I felt as though I wasn't living I was existing and I never felt "real". I was on the outside looking down on this person (who was me) living this strange life!

This was before I started this site so I had no idea what it was and the doctor just told me it was stress.

I know now that it is DP/DR and I can understand that it is common in sufferers. Wish I had known that earlier!

You aren't mad atall and a lot of us get it so don't worry. I know that is easy to say but it does go in time trust me.

Nicola

[della]

jude
i too have had these feelings of depersonalization, feeling as though you are whatching yourself / or that you cannot feel anything at all, they do however recede try not to worry about them as you will only fuel them.

take care


della

[jill]

Hi Jude

DP/DR is the most scary feeling imaginable and is very hard to expalin.
I too have had this is the past, but I never told anyone. I felt if I told anyone I would go mad or lose it all togther. I felt as through I was hanging on by a thread.
I could not have be more wrong. Now I know different.
I am now 98% better most days 100%.
You are NOT going mad Jude and you will NOT lose it.
It just makes you feel that way.
Like all symptoms of PA anxiaty it feeds off your fear of the symptom and your negative thoughts.
There are post on here about DP/DR.
Just the other day my daughter who suffers anxiaty but is doing really well had a little blip, symptom being DP/DR she said everything was moving very fast, it frightend the life out of her, but she knows what to do, she know that she has to change her thoughts very quick and think of nice things and positive thoughts. I have told her to try and not to fear the symptom and it will go. It did not last for long. She is only 11 years old. I am telling you this to show you that it is all part of anxiaty and you are not alone Jude.
WELL DONE Jude for posting your most inner thoughts, this is a step forward to your recovery.
You WILL in time learn how to change your thoughs and you WILL learn how to feel better.

TAKE CARE LOVE JILLXXX

Great changes may not happen right away,
but with effort the difficult may become easy.

[jude]

It never fails to amaze me what your mind can do to you!
I thought mine was the worst!
Thank you all for your support when I need it the very most.
Jude x

[seh1980]

hi Jude,

I experienced this quite often in the past and still do every once in a while. It is very unpleasant!! Don't worry, you are not alone..

Sarah

[sal]

Hi Jude

I struggled for years not telling anyone how i felt as sure i would be condemed for being mad.

My biggest fear was admitting it meant i had lost it, but you are not alone and i am pleased Meg helped you and you have posted us and as you can see by the replies we all understand exactly how you feel.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[doddy]

Hi Jude,

I also have had this quite bad for a while now and you are so right it is a horrible feeling that is so hard to put into words. just feels like you are not there, as if all could be a dream, not connected and non feeling, a strange expereince indeed.

Ive come to look at this for what it is, just a by product of your anxiety, just another sympton, nothing to worry about at all, not going mad just a starnge feeling, go with it but its certainly nothing to worry about but i know how hard that is.

As a word of hope my DR?DP has virtually left me over the last 3 or 4 weeks, think that came about when i just accpeted it for what it is.........a silly sympton that dosent deserve the time of day!!!

Take care,

Doddy,

[kate]

Hi Jude,

Add me to the list of people who get this as well

I sometimes feel as if I'm about to float off somewhere, that I'm not real, that I'm outside looking in on the world.

I've had it on and off for years but even now it still manages to freak me out :(

Kate x

[sal]

Jude

See by the posts that we all find it hard to admit how we feel but when we do we suddenly realise people on here understand and want to support us.


Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.