Helpful book for sufferers of Depersonalisation / Derealisation

[Sar96]

I have just read 'Overcoming Depersonalisation and feelings of unreality. A self help guide using CBT techiques' by Anthony S. David.
I have found this really useful as I now don't think my DP/DR is a result of panic attacks I think it is the other way around. The book talks about the whys and wheres of the condition and uses CBT to help overcome it (tasks/worksheets etc). It also uses case studies and I could identify exactly with one of them (someone who used drugs and had DR/DP as a result) It also talks about possible medication (some epilepsy and antidepressant medication)
From reading the book, my symptoms are actually a lot better than I first thought. I am able to go about everyday life and had a full time job as a teacher before I had my son (5 months old) When I first started to feel weird years ago I found it hard to get through the day and became addicted to sleeping tablets for 4 years as sleep was the only time I could get away from myself.
Even though I have had panic DR/DP for 7 years I have only just really strated to take some action into treating it. (I thought it would go away by itself with time!) At first my symptoms got worse as I was aware of it all the time having gone to the docs, done research and joined this site. I thought about it constantly and it drove me nuts. I still am thinking about it most of the time. Having more knowledge about what is happening to me has made me a bit less afraid of the symptoms as I don't really believe I am going mad now. A lot of the time I am ok but don't feel 100% especially when I think about it. The book also gives some advice on concentrating on external sources to focus less on how you feel inside - He says that if you are so focused on whats going on inside your body/head it is no wonder you feel detached from what is going on in the world around you. There are some good activities on negative thought patterns.
I seem to have symptoms more when I am on my own. I prefer company as it takes my mind off how I feel.
Here are some of my symptoms:
Feeling robotic
My body and mind are not connected
Visual disturbaces (spaciness, dizzy) especially when I am driving which is what caused me to panic
I don't have emotional numbness fortunately and my memory seems ok still so it could be worse.
Sensitivity to light (when this first started I used to dread the evening as the artificial light made me feel worse - I now I know why!)
Strange numb feelings in my legs where I feel I can't walk properly
I used to get terrible paranoia - i kept thinking people were going to dtug me and I would freak out (I was spending a lot of time around people who still did drugs) I don't get this anymore.
The worst thing is not feeling like I am me anymore and wish I could be like I used to - sometimes it gets me down but I have to keep thinking positives:
- that I am so much better than I used to be
- I don't notice it all of the time if I am preoccupied
- I have managed to go about my normal life where people 'think I am normal'(!)
- I managed to conquer my sleeping pill addiction which took over my life.
- I can manage symptoms usually with distraction.

I am on the waiting list for CBT but am trying CBT at home. I will feel like myself again - eventually - I hope!!

Anyone out there identifying with this?

Sarah x x x

[alswife]

Hi Sarah,

I can identify with a lot of what you have said. I had DP/DR for 2 years and 5 months (it finally went in January), I had lots of the symptoms you described, looking back now it stayed with me longer because I couldnt think about anything else. Once I finally accepted what it was and that I wasnt going crazy it started to fade. I just tried to distract myself all the time whenever I found myself thinking about it, luckily I have a busy job and that helped me a lot. I still get odd moments of DP/DR but its like a tiny flash of what I used to feel like and it only lasts 2 seconds. I thought I'd be like it for the rest of my life but thankfully not, it was the worst 2 years of my life.

Joanna

[sgravel]

Im actually reading the book but the toughest of all my
symptoms is the inability to connect with myself and the
book doesnt talk all that much about it. Joanna did you feel disconected from yourself like part of your sole is gone

thank

[alswife]

Hi

I did feel very disconnected, like I was trapped in someone else's body and looking through someone else's eyes. I got trapped in a circle of constantly thinking about it and once I stopped that it started to fade very quickly.

Joanna