Hi

[stimpy]

Hi I'm Steve, its nice to find this little retreat - I've been lurking for a while, trying to get my wife Liz to say hello. So far she hasn't been brave enough, so I thought I'd say Hi instead

Liz has been suffering severe anxiety and panic attacks since June
this year, so much so that 'anything and everything' will trigger
them, leaving her avoiding any situation where they've been
triggered in the past. She's become agoraphobic, frightening to
answer the phone, frightened of going to bed,.. frightened of life - All in all a very scared lady. We've been tought
relaxation and breathing techniques - and although I've got them
sussed (!), Liz is finding it very difficult to relax and stay calm,
and the panic attacks will sometimes last for days on end - very
much the symptoms of a heart attack, along with nausea, 'burning
skin', and severe shakes. I've been off work since August to try to
help her, and also to do all the day-to-day chores shes unable to do
at the moment.

Liz sees a CPN, monthly now - usually more often, as she feels she
needs more support than the monthly home visits. She's due for her
first appointment with a councilor this week - A lady called Maggie from the B'ham Counceling Centre. Hopefully that will
be the start of her recovery.

She also started on a course of Sertraline this Friday - so far
she's had two 50mg tablets. She had bad side effects after trying
out Xeroxat a while ago, and is very frightened of the new
medication, so much so that shes had phantom side effects caused by
panicking, starting just 5 minutes after putting the first tablet in
her mouth.

We feel like we are just existing at the moment, waiting to live
again, every day seems as difficult as the last. I'm scared for
her... I want my lovely wife back, and our two children want their
mummy back.

Thanks for listening, and I hope Liz will be able to sit at the
computer soon and say hello to you all.

Love 'n hugs
Ste

[nomorepanic]

Hi Steve

It is always lovely to see a caring partner come here to voice their concerns for a loved on - u must be a very special person.

It is hard to know where to start but I just wanted to welcome u and then I will do a fuller reply tomorrow as it is late now!

You will find so much help on here for her and maybe we can get her back on form asap



Nicola

[Meg]

Welcome Liz and Steve ..

If you've been lurking I guess you will have read some of the posts around already. There is a lot of information around.

If you've anything to ask or comment on please do... Seems like Liz is having lots of support - enormous amounts from you and some from CPN, and counsellor soon too.

Couple of points.. picking up on what you said . I hope you don't mind me being direct ..

Full Panic attacks cannot last more than 2 hours. Your body runs out of the chemicals . She can have lots of other feelings and emotions afterwards that may seem like an extension but if she grades it from start to a day later from 1-10, and is honest you will see a variation to a crescendo and then drop from panic to exhaustion , weepy and sad to possible anger and bitter disappointment.These can last days.

What is she doing with her time at present ?

I completely understand about the existing bit. I think most of us have been there at some stage.

Please do keep in touch and if anything is bothering you , just post and you'll get lots of peoples experiences .

This is such a hard time for you too and the children . How are you all coping ?






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[sarah]

Hi Steve and Liz
Just a few positive things for you to think on.
I started off like you say your wife is, i was scared of everything and anything and would panic at nothing ( the phone ringing would send me into floods of tears and i would hide under the bedclothes). It just so happened that my husband was taking a work break when I got ill so he was there for me 24/7. He eventually went and started a new career this January and the first day he left me I was beside myself with panic. I got a lot worse but in the end I had to do things for myself as he wasnt around.(with help from medication and councelling). Ive got a lot better and am no longer agoraphobic although the feelings are still there.(im not telling you to go to work and leave your wife by the way - just giving you my experience).
Also with the panic 5 mins after taking my medication i used to get panic. Still do a bit after all these months (i think ive just learned to panic now), so as soon as ive taken one i go have a nice bath or lose myself in a good book to take my mind off it for an hour or two.
I really hope it gets better for you soon Liz. And hope it goes well with the councelling. I wish my husband was as understanding as yours!
Love Sarah
xxx

[stimpy]

Thankyou for your replies, and for being there - it seems like I've finally glimpsed the top of the well and touched some reality here.

Hello, my name is Liz and I also would like to thank you for all your replies.
At the moment I am on the verge of screaming and crying "please dear god No more". I feel unsettled, un-nerved, shaking, feeling sick, light headed and getting ready to run and cry. My heart is pounding and it feels like I am going to die. I just want it to stop. Please dear god won't someone or something make it stop. I've been like this for 72+ hours. I just want a rest.

[Meg]

Hey Liz,
Good to have you here ...

I've been where you are today..... It goes but it does take time , patience nad perseverence.

If you feel like running - then do- get some exercise - it will help enormously.

Here is a very brief run down on what you can do to help yourself .

There are several things that you can do to help yourself with these although they are not ‘cures’ in the traditional way as taking an antibiotic and the infection goes away completely.

Medication can help to give you a break from the worst part of panic but unless something else changes within you - when you come off the medication the issues remain and often the panic reoccurs.

Other avenues that do help include:

Breathing - Learn to breathe from your diaphragm, your tummy should rise and fall with your breath as well as your chest. Ensure your out breath is longer than the in one. A count of 4 in – 6 out is great. Use this as soon as you feel panic rising. Alternatively, hold your breath for a few seconds . I found this better for me..

Distraction- As soon as you feel the anxiety soaring and you get afraid – do something different. Change your environment, talk to someone, do something, distract yourself. It’s often enough to dissipate the panic .

Comfort yourself – be totally positive with yourself but do allow yourself to go with it. Keep giving yourself positive messages that this will pass naturally and cannot harm you- breath and distract.

Regular exercise – uses the adrenaline/ noradrenaline and the cortisol that are secreted when panic sets in and enhances endorphine production

Tai’ chi or Yoga – promotes complete relaxation as well as stretching. This has a cumulative effect so try it regularly. The meditation part also helps learn to still the mind and cumulatively is a very effective exercise to learn to use during panic.

Relaxation tapes are extremely useful . Find one you like and stick to it. Play it every day whether you are stressed or not and soon whenever you feel anxious just putting it on will relieve that tension .

Massage- releases the tension that builds up in your tissues. Often with anxiety we store it in major muscle groups apart from the usual chronic shoulders and neck so leg muscles etc can go into spasm. Reaction from the guts is also common, you may find you get wild disturbances.

When you are starting to feel anxious - Bach rescue remedy will take the edge off.. These are flower essences, are completely safe and have no sideeffects. A couple of squirts in a bottle of water and sip liberally all day. Additionally, I used Aspen for fear, Cherry plum for terror and Rock rose for control.

Nutritional supplements – having panic and anxiety is extremely draining on your body resources. A strong 50-100 mg Vit B complex supplement is highly recommended as is extra calcium and magnesium , take this one at night . www.quest.co.uk is a reputable source.

Unless you’re intolerant , warm milk at night contains tryptosan which promotes sleep and relaxation.

Aromatherapy- lavender, clary sage, vetiver oil baths.

If you are really shaky passiflora /lemon balm/ valerian root/ hops tinctures for instant help or tablets regularly.
St Johns Wort can also help but doesn’t kick in for 3 weeks or so
Kava Kava is brilliant for anxiety but is currently withdrawn from the EU whilst investigations go on into possible liver sideeffects complicated by anxiety people often taking to alcohol for relief…
For constant insomnia melatonin is excellent. It’s not available in the UK but widely available in the US where its main use is for jetlag

With all of the herbs above if you are on any other medications at all then you must check it out carefully and ask for professional advice. SJW is a definite No if you’re on the pill, immunosuppressants or anti coagulants.

If you find anxiety is worse in the morning try eating little but often and keep to protein and complex carbohydrates- nuts/seeds are a great choice, it’s recommended to have a breakfast – (not s

[diana]

Hiya Steve and Liz!!!

Good to have you both here. Liz you are very blessed to have a partner that totally supports you in this. Mine is not so supportive, so at times I do feel very much alone in my fight to overcome this. We here have all been where you are right now. I know it seems that this all will not come to an end till we "DIE", as that`s what it feels is going on, just a slow agonizing way of dying. You will overcome this with support and helping yourself. It sounds like you have plenty of support, so now on to doing something to help yourself. Do not avoid anything or any place because that is giving the control to the anxiety/panic. You need to keep the control, like Meg mentioned there are so many things you can do, print out or jot down the suggestions she posted and try them all to find out what works for you. Then incorporate what works for you into your daily routine. It will get better, keep coming back to let us know how you all are getting along. Steve so good to hear a partner be so supportive for a change. You all keep ya chin up!!!! It will get better, just take everyday one day at a time. That`s the best we can do.

Cheers!!!!

Diana xxx ooo

[nomorepanic]

Hi Liz

Good to see you here. We have all been there trust me - it feels lie you will never get better but you will slowly in time.

Meg has some great advice so print it out and sit down with it.

There is also a lot of info on the site - try the "Coping" page to start with.

Get yourself off to the docs and see if he can give you some medication for temporary relief.
Please let us know how you go.


Nicola

[stimpy]

Thanks a million everyone, for writing.

I sound like a broken record telling her to be positive, be in
charge of the panic, and to try to relax - but I'll keep saying it.
We both now know that avoidance of triggers isn't the answer, and
hopefully when the meds kick in she'll be able to try little things
like getting online again, walking to the bottom of the street,
going in the garden, and answering the phone without having a heart
attack.

Meg, my mood follows Liz's mood if I'm not careful, I can get very very
down, tearful (never cried since my mom went into hospital 5 years
ago) and I must admit at times I feel resentful as to whatever
caused Liz's panic, resentful that we can't go out together, and
that I can't really go out on my own either - a) because I can
imagine how shes feeling, and b) shes started to panic when I leave
her, and begs me not to go out.

At the moment, Liz isn't doing very much to take her mind off things. She says she can't think. Lots of watching TV (we never really watched TV before). She has done a bit of reading lately, but thats about it. Getting online is difficult, she cant think straight, and doesn't want to talk to anyone. Like I said before, hopefully in time, and the meds help a little she'll come on and talk, maybe get back into talking to her friends on MSN etc. I'm wondering what she can do to keep busy in the house, as she was always an outdoors sort of person - theres not a lot I can think of.

Just a bit, as to what happened over the weekend after she posted...

She was very rocky yesterday morning, and took a valium to calm down, slept for a bit, woke up, and watched the Steiff Teddy Bears on QVC for a bit. At teatime a friend arrived out of the blue - one that had been avoiding us.

By 9pm last night Liz decided to jump in the shower, another big
fear of hers at the moment. I sat on the landing reading a story to
the kids. It seemed to help a lot knowing I was just outside if
anything 'should happen'.

We had a good talk shortly after, mostly about your suggestions, and after refusing to take any more sertraline, she asked me if *I* wanted her to take it.
Obviously I do! It'll help her in time, and these initial wobbles
will soon pass, and as long as we are positive, try to smile and
laugh we can get through this. She then took it, after swearing
she'd never touch them again. We also talked about trying to relax.
I don't think anxiety can exist if you're already relaxed, but this
is the hardest part for her - not something she can do easily. I
have been to hypnotherapy in the past and was taught how to relax. I
try to explain that if you do it properly, its a bit like how you
feel after valium, or sex!(now theres an idea - lol)

We had a very positive couple of hours then, and watched some funny
stuff on video. After I admitted defeat and went to bed at 1.30, she
said she'd follow. I woke up at 6, and she wasnt in bed, turned out
that she'd fallen asleep on the chair just after I'd left her... No
panics, and no need for any more valium.

It's 9.25am now and she went up to bed at 7am, still asleep, so I
can only wait to see how she's gonna cope today. Hopefully this will
be a good day, I can only wait and see. The councellor coming is at
1am, Liz is looking forward to that, but I hope she's not expecting
to get better as soon as shes seen her.

I have to go out on Tuesday and Wednesday for a couple of hours, as I've been off work for a while they want to see me every 4 weeks to see how things are getting on. Liz is already worrying about being on her own. Because its daytime theres nobody to come and stay with her.

As I've said, the councillor is coming today. Its something that I'm paying for, no offer has been made by the CPN or doctor that she could get this on the NHS - does anyone know if it is? We live in Sandwell in the West Mids. I'd love her to see a hypnotherapist, but I'd not be able to pay for both.. but if the councillor was free, I'd be able to get the hypnotherapist to come see her.

Gonna look for rela

[kate]

Hi Ste,
Thought I would reply to you as I saw from your address that you do not live far from me, I am in Great Barr.I come under North Birmingham health authority and I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist on the NHS, which is of course free.But, I must add, that I had to request my GP to refer me for councelling,as they seem to think that drugs alone are the answer.I assume that you come under Sandwell Health authority, does the CPN work for the mental health team in Sandwell? If so, I am surprised that she hasnt suggested NHS counselling herself.If you are having problems getting anything sorted, the services available can also be accessed through yoour local Social Services office. I would explore all avenues because yoou may find that the help needed is available on the NHS.
Hope this info has been of some use, let us know how you get on

Kate x