Hey guys, i start work on Monday for the first time since december ( since being sacked for something i didnt do). Ive been reading clare weekes book which is helping. But im still very nervous about starting work, new place, new people, new layout/location. I get scared im gonna get ill when im at work and they arent gonna let me go home, or im gonna be sick in front of everyone. I have this fear of being ill in front of people. It scares me so much. The wierd thing is, its a circle, i panick, and the nausea is both a symptom and a cause of the anxiety, the cause because im almost expecting something to happen. I know the first day is usually pretty relaxed but i still have that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Also ive been on citlopram, ( been on it for 3 years, came off it , then i lost job and relapsed, back on it now for about 6 weeks now) just been feeling really down, thinking things like whats the point in life, you work all your life, then die, woo hoo. Brilliant. Im being so negative about life, i dont feel suicidle as such, just think is there much point me being here? Is there really anything for me on this earth? Has anyone else had/have this? Does it get better? Maybe its the citalopram ? I keep telling my self once i start work and get occupied with it the thoughts will disolve. But im so scared about starting monday. Any advice?
Love to you all xxxx
Emma
xxxxx