almost bed-bound and cant stop crying

[louwilliams]

Hi..again

I'm in such a mess-nearly everyday I have to go to bed for some reason or another-If its not one thing its another.

When i have these symptoms, I have to get myself to bed-This is my safety zone and where I feel that I can cope with all of it.

I have a few major symptoms-ectopics and chest pains, head zaps and stomach issues.

The stomach issues are kind of sorting themselves out-i've been put on ranitidine and this seems to have lessened the "adreneline" knot churning my stomach up everyday.

The head zaps are always in exactly the same place-I have posted about this before-obviously I am convinced its a tumour or something sinister thats at any moment will go POP in my head.

The major one that worries me the most thought is the ectopics. I dont have them everyday thank god but they are regular enough to scare the crap out of me. I dont smoke, or drink caffine or alcohol so I dont know what triggers it. For instance I was stood in the queue at Woolworths yesterday morning and I had a massive one and I literally dropped everything and left to get home to bed ASAP. Last night I was in the bath and as soon as I lay down to wash my hair WHAM..there they were again-forcing me to get out of the bath with dripping hair and get to bed (at 7.30pm)

They scare me so much-I dont know what to do when they happen-ive had countless ECG's and theyve all come back normal-i'm booked to have a 24hr ECG in the next couple of weeks but wont find out the results until 1st May-ive just had enough of it now-i cant stop crying because i'm so worried-I read a lnk on here the other day to explain about ectopics and just wanted a bit of re-assurance but upon reading it it said that "sometimes ectopics can be fatal" so I completely freaked out and have now convinced myself that mine will be and i'm just waiting to die. Because I get the chest pains too (sometimes central or left side) I dont even believe the doctor anymore when he said they are harmless-how does he know without checking it or properly? I just cant get past the fact that they may be harmless-I will be one of the few whose are fatal. Ive read all the posts about ectopics and I know other worry about them but I'm getting no re-assurance from anywhere anymore-i'm having CBT but she just seems to make a joke of it when I said I go to bed when it happens-she said "was that on doctors orders? if you have a fatal heart condition, get to bed and that will make it better" i now why she said it-to make me realise how ridiculous it is but i cant help it. I'm only 32, I have 2 children and i keep visualising them growing up without me. I'm feel like crying writing this.

[jellybean43]

Hi
Aww I am sooo sorry you are having such a bad time.
I honestly do understand as I have really bad health anxiety at the moment(I wont go in to it but if you read my posts you will get the picture!!!).
I really think that you are suffering anxiety ----I had it really bad back in 1986 after the birth of my second child. I was always worrying about my kids growing up without me(and hey they ae 22 and 25 now and i am still here!!!).
I would try and not go to bed----really talk yourself out of it. Try distracting yourself--watching something funny on the telly with the kids, putting on some of your favourite music, ring a friend----anything to stop you thinking about how bad you are feeling.
I am sending you hugs---sorry i cant be more help but if it does help i know what you are going through and anxiety is an awful thing
Take care xxx

[Emira7]

Hey Lou

Firstly massive hugs hunny......

I have had 1 ECG due to having ectopics and the odd episodes of a few palpitations and I still get scared that my ECG was read incorrectly.

I went through a stage of going to bed at silly times, as it was the only thing I knew how to do to calm myself down.
I am 29 and have 2 children and have been absolutely beside myself that they will grow up without me.

I so know how your feeling and I wish I could be there to give you a big hug right now.
As far as I understood Ectopics are not dangerous, just a nuicense. And as you have had ECG's surely that must tell you that your heart is OK. Easier said than done I know hunny, as I doubt things all the time.

Big hugs and much love to you......



Em
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[bottleblond]

Me darlin Lou Lou

I really want to start off by giving you a massive hug gal

Ok HEALTH ANXIETY....it's stinks, it's cruel, it's scarey and it's down right damn unfair.

These chest pains you have been having hun are the EXACT same as mine. I also take ranitidine. When i first started having them (three years ago now) i was convinced it was my heart, i just knew i was just gonna drop down with a heart attack, they was no doubt of it in my mind. I was told the pains i was having were NOT heart pains but nope i didn't believe a word of it, so on and on and on i worried till one day i noticed they had gone. Then and only then did i believe it was not heart pains. I still get it but it seems to come in phases now, but it always goes away again.

Ectopics!! Got to be one of the most common, yet frightening symptoms of anxiety. I recon if you had to do a survey on this site and ask how many of us get them, you'd probably be talking more than 90%. Sweety you got to trust these ECG's, seriously, the wouldn't all be wrong.

Head zaps..stress, anxiety, tension can effect every part of us, from our heads to our toes, cause all sorts of aches and pains. Trust me Lou, nothings gonna go pop in your head.

Your a fit young healthy mum, like zillions of us hun, anxiety/health anxiety got a tight grip on you at the moment but i promise it WILL pass. Don't you make me get that chamber pot back off Shay, ewwwww can you imagine!!!?

Please please please try to realx a bit mate. Your a fab person and a good mate and you gonna be just fine!!

Heaps of love to you
Lisa
xxxxxxxxx

[jack76]

very familiar.... i have had it ll too.,ranitidine, ECG's headaches and covinced im either going to die of a heart attack or the tumour will get me.

still hav it now and can convine myself im not going to die

i hate it, it is cruel and definately no fair.......

you will be fine mate stick with it

[louwilliams]

thanks for your replies guys....Lisa yours made me cry ye swine

Its just so hard when everyday is like a battle. I have so much going on at the minute that I dont seem to be getting anywhere even though I try so hard. I have no support from anywhere or anyone except when i'm on here but then I get told off for coming on here as all i'm doing is "reinforcing my illness" apparently (by my partner....the expert......NOT) and "talking to my funny friends again"

Anyway,, not gonna go on another rant...just wanted to say thanks

LOU xxxxxxx

[jodie]

hiya lou

poor you ..reading this post reminds me of how i used to be with ectopics and still am at times i know how crap it is and how going to bed is the only way you feel safe.
i used to think shall i go to hospital and most the time i did go they would do tests and send me home saying your fine just ectopics grrrr i hated the fact that they didnt think i felt ill enough to help me but now i know that the worst part about ectopics is how they feel i have had a heart scan done and other tests and they all came back ok i had a good chat with the heart doc i asked him at any point was my life at risk with ectopics and he sead no i was going to be fine they just dont feel nice i asked when i get 2or 3 at a time was that bad he agane sead no i would be fine, i still get them a lot ...more when i am tired or stressed or when it is that time of the month

anyway i am sure you will be ok i have had em 10 years now i am still alive .
if ever you want a chat or feel down just pm me if you want

jodie xx

[louwilliams]

Thanks Jodie,
Ive got a 24hr tape booked for 25th april and I see the cardiologist 1st may but i'm worrying myself sick that he''ll tell me its something serious or sinister. I've even started avoiding certain foods now-i heard that sometimes too many carbs can give you them or sugarry stuff-its really dictating so many areas of my life, including my kids lives now (i wont go on school trips with them anymore or even to see them sing sometimes (they are in the school choir and go round places singing) and feel so unsupportive and i'm letting them down) Its getting the better of me and I dont know how to stop it. i just need a definate answer from the doctor and some definitive re-assurance

Lou xxx

[jodie]

lou

i am just the same or have been not so bad now .
i put off going on holiday coz mine were worse when i was away at ngiht ,i put of going in the car for a ride out coz i think we had been to york one week and i had ectopics realy bad on the way there .
i can not tell you why or how i have got to were i am with them now only that when i get them (i have a lot of them tongiht ) i try and not think about them i think ok i have had them befor i get them all the time i look for why i know i have been ill with flu i have worked a lot today ect ,i know for sure it is all in the mind and how you deal with them when you are not scared of them anymore they become easy to live with but it is getting to the point in not being scare that is the hard bit .
i do know were you are coming from as far as they run your life coz i lived like that for years and still wont go away on holliday or if i do i hate it and panic lots last year i came home early i was that scared and got ectopics the whole time grr

jodie xxx

[Emira7]

Hey Lou

My partner thinks that as well, that I make myself worse from coming on here. I don't believe for a minute thats true. Because although i have real bad days, when i come on here i get the support and friendship i need. Plus i can sometimes help other people with my experience.
In short I believe I am better now than I was before, plus where else can you meet like minded folk like us!

Anyway, I hope you are feeling a little better
xx