Partners/Family attitude to NMP

[louwilliams]

I'm interested to know what members partners and family members think about you using this site?

Personally, My partner says that I "re-inforce my illness" by using the forums and chat room (I have severe health anxiety, panic attacks and GAD) and if someone mentions an symptom, that within a week I will have it too (which is complee and utter rubbish) He has never once even glanced at the site-he has no idea what is written on the forums or in the chatroom-he just assumes and says "oh I see your talking to your funny friends again" It does cause arguements between us when I come on here, but I have tried to explain to him that as I dont get any support from him or my family, this is the only place I do get it from and as it helps me, I will continue to use NMP

Thanks
Lou xxx

[kellie]

my partener/family dont care that im on here as long as they have something to do. if they aint then they throw a big sulky. sometimes its all about them and not what is helping you. sometimes family are just selfish.

kellie .xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[honeybee3939]

My Hubby loves to me to be on the forum so he can take charge of the TV (football,rugby and any other sport the remote will take him to!)! He actually drove me to the other end of the country last year so i could meet up with all the good people that had helped me recover from Agorophobia, so i geuss he is very grateful everyone as helped get his wife back to the way she used to be.

Love

Andrea
xxxx

[belle]

My family thinks like you Lou, that it makes me worse. How can that be??? I dunno!

[Bill]

I feel ths site should be used in a positive rather than negative way.

What I mean is that this site is a huge knowledge database but is also a place to receive support from people who understand.

The problem with panics and most anxieties is that alot of them are created by inward thinking because we focus on what we're feeling. If we're not careful, we can use what others say in a negative way by keeping our focus on our inward thinking and on how we're feeling.

This is a great place to learn and receive support but people need to be careful not to get too absorbed by constantly thinking about how they're feeling because of their anxiety.

Alot of our anxiety is created because we focus on what we're feeling rather than on what we need to do.

I think this is a Terrific place. Just remember to use the site in a positive way by learning from what is here and what others offer in support as friendship without constantly dwelling on how anxiety makes you feel otherwise anxiety stays in control because you're always creating it by thinking about it rather than using what is here to help conquer it.

An example would be....

Say, you look on here and read about someones panic symptoms and you realise you suffer in the same way. The negative approach would be that it "could" make you more aware of the symptom so make you "think" about it even more which could then make the panic worse because you're always looking for it and expecting it.

The positive approach would be to realise that others suffer the same thing so it must be a normal reaction and then look to find out why it happens and how to stop it.

So often we tend to forget that all our anxiety symptoms are created by what and how we're "thinking" so if we dwell on worrying thoughts and our symptoms, the panics will always feel worse.

Panics go when we "forget" them and learn how "not" to think and dwell on them.

This is a Wonderful site for knowledge and support.......just use subject matter on symptoms wisely to help you get better and not worse.

[PUGLETMUM]

hi lou, we have had quite alot of debates on here about how nmp affects us - is it a good thing or a bad thing?

but obviously your talking about our partners/families opinions and thats a bit different although in some peoples cases thes people can be having an influence on what the individual does/ thinks.

i know roughly how long you have been suffering (at least i think i remembe ryou saying)and i would say you are relatively new to anx, hence why you are triggered by other peoples problems/symptoms etc.

personally i have none of that so it is irrelevent to me whether nmp has a negative effect on me - it doesnt - unless i have a row with someone which doesnt happen much now im more chilled

what need s to be tackled is the way you react to other people not you actually coming on-line. you will eventually stop being triggered i think by other people - its part of anxiety disorders really especially when you are feeling really bad. your relationship stress amy be causing your anx and not nmp. however your partner is entitled to his opinion although as he isnt it a sufferer wouldnt it be better to take it with a pinch of salt?

it is really hard when you are new to all this lou, and it gets easier over time - nmp or your partner isnt a viable choice there is a place for both in your life i think - remember who the enemy is lou - not us,(not suggesting we are but your partner may think we are?) not your partner(unless he is abusing you?) but ANXIETY and only ANXIETY!!!!!! it wreaks havoc with our lives and our relationships lou, and i urge you not to let it!!!!! find as many ways as possible of tackling your anxiety - find what works for you and then things will become easier and you wont have to have this stress hanging over you. it wont matter take care, emma

[AtmoLav]

I'm interested to know what members partners and family members are to you using this site?

Personally, My partner says that I "re-inforce my illness" by using the forums and chat room (I have severe health anxiety, panic attacks and GAD) and if someone mentions an symptom, that within a week I will have it too. It does cause arguements between us when I come on here, but I have tried to explain to him that as I dont get any support from him or my family, this is the only place I do get it from and as it helps me, I will continue to use NMP

Thanks
Lou xxx

As weird as this sounds, I agree with your fella. I think the work NMP does is great, but I'm on here too often, can't tear myself away from it and IMO it makes my anxiety worse.

Last time my anxiety was bad, I didn't know this place existed. It got better much quicker.

[Coni]

Hi, my hubby doesnt know I use the forum and I dont think he'd be happy if he did know...I see a psychologist and he absolutely hates the fact that I see him (its through occupational health), gets mad when I get anxious or upset or down (cant blame him really) and only a few weeks ago said he'd leave if i didnt sort myself out...so this place is my dark secret (no offence meant...its actually been my lifeline on more than one occasion)....and allows me to paint my smile on for the rest of the world.

luv Coni XX

[samc100]

My OH hates forums. He thinks they are silly. But he's always been supportive of me being here cos' he knows in the early days of when I had a breakdown a few Summers ago and was clueless to what was happening to me - this was the place that gave me answers and made me realise I wasn't alone.

I do monitor myself to ensure I am not here too much as I have an addictive personality and can waste hours on the PC which is unproductive for me as I have a young family and my time is needed with them. And I know a play in the park with my little boy will lift my spirits no end.

But it's good to know this is here and the friendship I have made with a fellow NMP member is dear to me.

[PUGLETMUM]

hi, i just had to respond - nobody has a right to tell anyone wha tthey can and cant do! we are responsible for our own lives, and that includes our family and friends.(they are responsible for themselves too) i dont spend hours and hours on here because i like a balanced life i generally dont do anything to excess oh except maybe talking

so i dont worry about that, if your partners spent hours and hours on-line say in ebay, would you say they had a problem? would they think they were doing anything wrong? no they wouldnt!, they would say it was normal and it wasnt hurting anybody!! which is true, but neither is coming to nmp, well except say for atmolav - who i would say therefore could do with trying to find other ways of dealing with the anxiety he/she is feeling.

for me coming to nmp could only ever help - when i had a breakdown 8ish years ago even though i had experienced it before on/off for years i still thought i was the only person in the world who felt like i did!!!

ppl who disagree with nmp who have never suffered should remember the saying ' there but for the grace of god go i'? there are ppl on here who have posted that someone they know suffered and they didnt have a clue, and then lo and behold they began to suffer themselves - well they certainly had a clue then!

ppl who are unsympathetic are generally ignorant,judgemental, selfish people anyway - ive got a few of them in my life, and i feel they are best ignored - plus i hold out the hope that one day they will have it themselves and i can say ' oh dont be silly, theres nothing wrong with you, pull yourself together and just get on with it and stop being such a let-down!!!