The doubting Poem

[jeannie]

HI,
I often have great difficulties in believing what people say to me. Well, I do believe what they say, but say, someone who is very important to me, says something nice about me, then I can think and think and think about it for hours on end - maybe days on end. I do this until I'm absolutely worn out. What then happens is that I start to wonder whether the person really meant what they said and that perhaps I did something wrong in the mean time to make him/her change their minds. This can go on for days on end..... I then worry exessively as to whether this certain person will still like me when I visit him/her again and so my obsessive checking then comes on and I hate it.
Does anybody else have these obsessions? I really want to change but don't seem to be able to. I say to myself, "You haven'T done anything wrong!" but it still doesn't help.
However, I really only have this obsession with people who are very important to me.

Happy Easter everybody,
Jeannie

What did they say?
What did they do?
What did they look like?
Have another think,
have another think,
just one more tiny thought.

Was it good or was it bad?
Was it said to please you?
Was it said to hurt you?

Can I believe it?
Can I accept it?
Can I go with it,
was it really meant?

What if they're lying?
What if they're teasing me?
What if they don't mean what they say?

I'll just go round and check if things are alright.
I'll just give them a ring.
I just need to check,
just one more time......

Stop douting everything, everybody,
not everyone wants to hurt you.
Stop listening to thoughts,
that want to help you protect yourself,
when really they are demoralising you.

What will happen if I change my ways?
What and how will I feel?
What will I think?
What will I do?

Can I start to think differently?
Can I start a different way of life?
Can I believe in myself?

How can I change my ways?
How can I change my life?
How can I make myself believe?
Believe in somebody important -
in ME!!!!

[seh1980]

hello Jeannie,

I love the poem!! If only we could all believe in oiurselves, then everything else would soon follow..

Sarah

[vernon]

Hi jeanie, nice poem. I used to think this a lot when younger but dont let it worry me now. It takes lots and lots of time to tell who realy likes or loves you I found. Take care and dont worry, just lover them all anyway. Vernon

[Karen]

Hi Jeannie

I also worry that I have upset people and like you say, it only becomes obsessive about someone I really care about. Whenever I don't hear from her I think I might have done something to upset her, even when I don't know what I could possibly have done. I used to be asking her practically every day whether I had upset her and the answer was always no.

I still have these fears but try not to constantly seek reassurance from her now. It is the obsession making you think this way. Deep down I know I haven't done anything wrong, but my obsession tells me that I have. It is a constant struggle and causes me a lot of anxiety.

I'm not sure what the answer is, apart from keep telling yourself that you haven't done anything wrong and the person does still like you.

I liked your poem too!


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[kairen]

hi loved the poem,

I'm very much like that when i'm having one of my off days, even if someone is a bit quiet , i think i wonder if i said something to upset them, and go over and over it in my head, then i'll ask them and i still dont believe them, then a few days later i can think back and think to myself what were you on about duh LOL.

Dont know if it's a confidence thing or not. I can even tell a friend something in confidence who i know would never dream of repeating it, but i can get myself so worked up thinking oh what if she just lets it slip, i know it's daft, even at the time but i just cant stop it PARANOIA LOL..

I'm not as bad now as i used to be, i just tell myself to stop being daft sometimes that works sometimes it doesnt.

hope this helps a bit take care and try not to worry your friends will know you'd never do anything to upset them xx

kairen x

[sal]

H Jeannie

Nice poem and so true. Believing is what we need to do!!

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[bubbles]

Jeannie,

I have suffered with this when I was younger, a sort of analysis of everything I'd done & said in certain situations &, always, when I cared a lot about other people involved.

Now I deal with it by 1)allowing myself a couple of obsessions about what I might have done or said wrongly.
2) Then telling myself---"Well whatever you did, if it was wrong, it's too late now, you've done it!"
3) Distracting myself straightaway with something else.

I find that does help to knock it on the head!

Linda.x

PS. Liked the poem.




Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.