Telling people my thoughts, causing problems

[phil06]

I posted a few topics on here about this before but still find it hard:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=26926
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=18713

Basically i need to tell people everything on my mind like I feel I need to confess or they will find out some how and I've rooted it back to my anxiety problems and since they got worse, the last few months its all been thoughts, worrying and advice.

When I talk to somebody new like before i go on a date I need to tell them all my problems, anxiety problems I've had because my first thought is "if they find out later down the line, they may leave me or be put off". The last date i went on with a lassie never went too well as I told her my life story and she only wanted a laugh and it was too much for her at first.

I've had similar problems with friends, nearly ended friendships because i go on about my problems and how crap life can be. I made up with them but have started to slip into old routines I just forget all what happened and start talking about all my problems.

I think it could be lack of confidence, I've got into a old routine of telling people everything problem is I then get emotional and then I get sympathy which I don't want.

Can anybody give me advice to get my thoughts and feelings under control? When I am in the situation I feel I need to confess to either family, friends, or a girlfriend at the time and it's costing me relationships meaning I will end up depressed and down with nothing. I sometimes say stuff that can be hurtful to there feelings or it sounds crazy, and they may be offended.

I feel I need to make changes and I'm sure it's anxiety/lack of confidence but not sure how to control it of if anybody has experienced similar? As usual my mind is running away with me saying maybe I have this wrong with me which is causing it.

[pooh]

Hi Phil!

I used to feel the need to 'confess' all as well. I used to refer to it as my anxiety induced social tourettes syndrome. I had terrible compulsions to say anything and everything in my head, to whoever,wherever and whenever.

As you know anxiety can generate an amazing amount of bizzare thoughts from the scarey to the surreal, and we also tend to become obsessed with it to.

If you can, try to relax a little and remember that you may suffer from anxiety but it doesn't define you as a person. I am sure there is much more to you than Phil the anxiety sufferer. for example, i suffer from depression anxiety and panic disorder but i am also a mother, sister, daughter, partner, employee, friend who enjoys cycling reading, painting drawing, my job, meeting new people dancing and having a laugh.

If you can take up activities to widen what you have to talk about. Not only is it great at reducing anxiety( in terms of fitness, meeting new people), it means you are doing things that during conversation give you something else to talk about. Remember to ask whats happening in other peoples lives too and any girl worth her salt will stick by you but no one has to know anything much about your history other than what you want to tell them.

Learning to accept that anxiety is part of who you are too can also go towards reducing it. I mean that it stops becoming all consuming. I got to a point when i would be on the phone chatting to whoever about my problems and i would stop mid sentence and say' you know what I cannot listen to the sound of my own voice going on about this anymore. I am bored to tears with it all' lol

Don't know if any of this has helped phil. I hope so!?

take care

Lynne

[phil06]

Hi Phil!

I used to feel the need to 'confess' all as well. I used to refer to it as my anxiety induced social tourettes syndrome. I had terrible compulsions to say anything and everything in my head, to whoever,wherever and whenever.

As you know anxiety can generate an amazing amount of bizzare thoughts from the scarey to the surreal, and we also tend to become obsessed with it to.

If you can, try to relax a little and remember that you may suffer from anxiety but it doesn't define you as a person. I am sure there is much more to you than Phil the anxiety sufferer. for example, i suffer from depression anxiety and panic disorder but i am also a mother, sister, daughter, partner, employee, friend who enjoys cycling reading, painting drawing, my job, meeting new people dancing and having a laugh.

If you can take up activities to widen what you have to talk about. Not only is it great at reducing anxiety( in terms of fitness, meeting new people), it means you are doing things that during conversation give you something else to talk about. Remember to ask whats happening in other peoples lives too and any girl worth her salt will stick by you but no one has to know anything much about your history other than what you want to tell them.

Learning to accept that anxiety is part of who you are too can also go towards reducing it. I mean that it stops becoming all consuming. I got to a point when i would be on the phone chatting to whoever about my problems and i would stop mid sentence and say' you know what I cannot listen to the sound of my own voice going on about this anymore. I am bored to tears with it all' lol

Don't know if any of this has helped phil. I hope so!?

take care

Lynne

Thanks for the advice. I do have too much free time at the moment. Some weeks I am out a few times a week and other weeks I am stuck in and have nothing else to talk about but the way I am feeling.

As I'm not working I also have more spare time so I feel if i can get a job it will help. I do need to stop the anxiety ruling my life I no longer suffer much panic attacks all I suffer is worrying.

I'm hoping to get into a better routine so I have less time to worry.