Online contact vs. face-to-face

[Franz]

Hi. In some ways, NMP has been a bit of a godsend for me over the past few months. However, I find online conversation a very poor relation to real human contact. It doesn't activate all the parts of the brain that actually speaking to someone directly does - that seems obvious.

Also, whereas speaking directly to someone you get on with is relaxing, I find staring at a screen is pretty stress-inducing, even if I'm having a good e-conversation with someone.

I'd be interested to know other people's thoughts on this.

[bluebell68]

Hi Francis... i kinda agree....... as something like 90% of human interaction is based on non-verbal signals, I also find e communication way more diffcult than talking face to face.... we can't gauge at all how what we have posted or said in a reply has been received, and i find that difficult... but i would say that on the flip side the annonimity of the site also has its upside too cos we can say things and voice fears that we might not be able to say to someone face to face...... i would say for me, in an ideal world, we would all be able to sit down and have a really good chat with other forum members face to face when we need reassurance but as that is not possible, this forum is the next best thing... but thats just me tho im a talker.............hence my always too long posts lol ...... and im sure other people may not want that at all even if it were a possibility.....
Best Wishes
Rach

[milly jones]

i would never discuss some of my fears like this face to face. i stutter and the words would get stuck cos my tongue lacks saliva when i have to make eye contact at times. I cant read non verbal cues and end up saying stupid things. then i worry about what i've said.
The forum and chatroom are my salvation at the moment.

many thanks to nmp and nic x

[chalky]

Hi Francis,

NMP has been a great starting point in recovery for me.It is a "tool" to use to aid my recovery.It has in some cases led to contact with others by MSN an also to telephone contact which will lead to face-to-face meetings at some point.The more we work with what we have,the more opportunities will develop for sources of help.
Give yourself time to build up relationships that will bring this to fruition.

Best wishes,
Chalky

[Franz]

Thanks for the replies. Chalky, yes, I've been in touch with a few people privately, although in most cases the correspondence fizzled out.

Bluebell, maybe you're right about anonymity, although I don't really have a problem talking to people face to face about my problems. I think I'm fairly good at reading non-verbal cues and I can tell when I'm starting to bore someone, so I always know when to "pull back"!

I started a course in mindfulness-based stress relief last week. We all had to introduce ourselves and what a relief it was to hear other people say openly, "I suffer from anxiety/depression". All this stuff you keep bottled up, and suddenly it wasn't taboo to admit I was weak and struggling. I guess that's a scenario similar to the one you were imagining.

I suppose part of the problem's that I live alone and my work is pretty solitary, so I can literally go the whole week barely speaking to anyone. Just speaking to anyone, about anything, would sometimes be a relief!

Thanks,

Francis