hi. i am a 33 year old lesbian with anxiety, ocd and an alcahol adiction.
I hope people won't judge me anymore for that.
1, The reason for me being a lesbian is because I clam up with male contact due to my past, also being a lesbian don't make me a sexual devient, if any thing I am represed when it come's to sex but I can't help but long for the soft, gentle embrace that for me only feel's safe with a woman.
2, I am an alcoholic besause it is the only way I have left for copeing with anxiety and deppresion. this way I can pretend to be normal is if nothing is bothering me and I don't have a care in the world. I need to be strong for my family who are also falling apart so they don't need my problem's to deal with too.
I would like to share some poem's with you all if I may.
TRAPED IN TIME.
No room to breath,
The wall's are closeing in.
Too many gorilla's,
Tearing at my skin.
Take your once of flesh,
Spit me out.
You wonder why,
There's no voice to shout.
Traped in time,
No justice in sight.
Who do I trust?
I'm too week to fight.
FAMILY TIE'S.
Too many question's,
Not enough answer's.
Drowning in a gene pool,
Where everyone whisper's.
Don't need that look,
To tell me I'm nut's,
Aready convinced,
Been told it enough.
How can I be fixed?
The whole tree's falling apart.
We seem to have tragedy,
Down to an art.
Trying to make a u-turn,
To break this chain.
I can see groundhog day.
We're in trouble again.
IN A NUT SHELL.
So you wan't to know a bit about me,
For your little sob story.
Then here's my history,
With no stabilaty.
Was born in West Germany,
Dad was in the army,
To fight for queen and country.
Mum has a legacy,
Impailed it in me,
Run's in the family,
Must be hareditory.
Gang molested by the age of three,
Repeatedly molested again at sixteen,
Two evil step mother's inbetween.
Malnurished by the first,
The second was worse,
Punishing with her fist,
But wait there's a twist,
Because dad chose her, over his own kid's.
The moral of the story is,
It's not all peach's and cream.
Please people,
Just let me scream.
I hope I have'nt offended anyone. If I have I'm sorry.
from Shylez.
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to NMP... nobody is gonna judge you here... we are all stuggling with a range of issues related to anxiety and depression, so you are never alone ....i thought your poems were really powerful.. thank you for sharing them with us... it takes guts to open up and reveal so much of ourselves when we are at our lowest and most vunerable.....You are obviously suffering at the moment and we can all relate to that ... i know you feel you need to be there for your family but you are allowed to need support too ..... Keep posting and we will try to offer as much support and advice as we can.....
. you will get lots of support/advice and make some great friends along the way.You will never be judged here hun we are al struggleing with our anxietys/panic, some ppl here are dealing with issues much the same as yourself. dont forget to visit the chat room where you can talk to us all. 
DONT WORRY BE HAPPY
