Hello eweryone... Im new to this forum and site.
This is the first time Im posting something on forum... My friends told me about this stuff and they say that on places like this you can find new insights, informations and maby even help...

So... Im clueless at this moment, and I would like to hear some oppinions about this strange fase of my life that Im going trough...

It all started in year 2003 when I had my first panic attack in the store. The wolowing days they were coming, two a day at least... I was handling it totaly well, withought any "fear of fear" development. At this point I wass supposed to move to a new appartment to live with my boyfriend, and it was all in delay because of him, and I was getting more and mora anxious...
As a result I got unvanted thougth that I will hurt my brother. Even though I was handling my panic and Anxiety attacks well, this I couldnt handle at all. That was the point when I started my terapy. For a few months I was using Amizol, and after that Xanax when needed... And I was better.
Last panic attack I had on 27 may 2004 when I got separated from my boyfriend after 6 year relationship. Since that I showed really big improovment and everything was well.
Last year i got into a new relationship and my boyfriend is like a dream boyfriend. We started a wonderfull new relationship in whic I enjoed every minute. Last March, we even started working together in one new company that oppened here. Everything was great until 1 july when one of my best friends lost her life in car accident. I was collected and calm, and didnt cry much, eventhough I was sad. My boyfriend encoured me to cry, but I didnt.
2 July was the day that I had my new first panic/anxiety attac after a long time. Soon after my friend died I went on vacation, to Egypt and there my hell started. I have developed a new symptom, I was sick all the time and thought I could trough up any time... Wich was horrible to me because I had fobia of troughing up all my life...
And from that moment my life become hell...
I started avoiding to leave my home because of my fobia of troughing up in public... And I got panic attack back..
The worst thing is new unwanted thought that apera in January that I will loose controll an tell my boyfriend that Im leaving him... That thought was driveing me creasy....
My boyfriend was suportiv for my problems since we first got together, so I called him and told him all about this thought... And i guess that helped, because in within a two weeks I manage to control the state ower that thought...
And I was brave, so I confronted my fear of troughing up, so that stoped to...
But Anxiety is constantly present and is horrible...

A month ago I had I tests in my medical hospital and they shown only several parts of histronic personality disorder, but not a hole disorder. In 2000 I was diagnosed with several parts of borderline personality disorder, but now, there are no traces of that... I guess I was good with my therapy.
But, what is confusing me is... On this test, and according to my therapyst...
There is no Anxietym nor the symptoms...
And yet they are present all the time...

Iv benn battling this for so long, I red everything on enxiety and panic... I was learning, and coping...
But now... I dont know what Im dealing any more...
Im totaly confused... Im getting depressed ... My therapist advised me to take Ciprlalex... But I still think I can do all this on my own... If I only realise what my problem is, I sure I could find the way to sove it and overcome everything...

Has anyone have any clue what might be wrong with me?
If there shouldnt be anxiety/panic symptoms... Why the hell are they here with me all the time?

Please help... Im totalu lost...

Thank you for your time to read all this text I wrote... And special thanks for those who give me some answers...

Hope something wil give me a clue what to do... or atleast understand...