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Thread: PET RULES

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    , , United Kingdom.
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    373

    PET RULES



    PET RULES

    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - their nose height.


    Dear Dogs and Cats,


    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.


    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.


    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.


    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the e bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.


    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!


    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:


    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:


    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it '
    furniture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

    Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

    01. Eat less
    02. Don't ask for money all the time
    03
    .Are easier to train
    04. Normally come when called
    05.
    Never ask to drive the car
    06. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    07. Don't smoke or drink

    08. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
    09. Don't want to wear your clothes

    10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,924

    Re: PET RULES

    oh ness that was sooo funny.

    i empathise specially with the bed bit. i have a double, a husband and son, and 2 labradors, quite a squash for the sunday papers.

    will copy this and sent to my parents

    thank you so much

    milly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
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    Re: PET RULES

    milly glad it made you laugh, i hope others will have some fun too
    love ness

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    3,047

    Re: PET RULES

    Hi Smudgie i loved reading that it gave me a giggle with my cuppa this morning so thankyou xxxxxxx

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    Re: PET RULES

    your welcome
    love smudgie

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    499

    Re: PET RULES

    ness,

    have you been in my house.....because you have described my two babies (dogs) exactly.

    im going to print this off...its so funny.

    thanks for making me smile

    dawny

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    233

    Re: PET RULES

    hilarious-especially the bit about the king size bed as this is exactly what my Staff does lol

    lou xxx
    __________________
    Your mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your own promotion.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    373

    Re: PET RULES

    Hi all

    so glad you liked it afriend of mine made it up re her one animals.

    We had a good laugh, i have 3 cats and they own the house not us.
    love ness

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