I cant cope with everything

[Ellie25]

Hi guys...

THanks for this great forum. Am SO glad to have found it.

I've just posted on the medication threada regarding propranolol tablets so i hope it's ok to post here as well.

I'm at the end of my tether. For years I've battled with anxiety, depressions, anorexia, self-harm. about 5 years ago i was given a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder - some of the people I've worked with don't agree with the label but as the saying goes 'mud sticks!'.

4 weeks ago my father died suddenly and then 2 weeks later my cat was killed. I'm getting really frequent migraines (3 in 6 days the worst so far), I'm anxious all the time, dread the next thing going wrong, dread each migraine and vomiting (have SEVERE emetophobia), I'm due to have foot surgery on June 16th............i don't feel i can cope with it all . i feel spaced out a lot of the time, dont want to see people or talk to some people, i feel dizzy and tired all the time. I'm left to look after Mum - we've never realy got on that well so it is so stressful. when i look ahead all i see is blackness. i miss my father and my cat so much

I've just had enough. there's so much more i could write but i don't want to bore you. would so love to hear from anyone and am hoping i can be of support to people here as well.

thanks for listening....

Ellie
xx

[Lauren C]

Hi Ellie,

I am just new to this site myself, and am still finding my way around. firstly let me say how sorry I am about your dad and your cat, losing family and pets is always very hard. My dad died ten years ago, and you know there isnt a day that goes by that I don't think of him, and of course miss him, the pain stays the same, we just learn to live with it. Animal deaths to me are deaths of my babies, my animals provide comfort and understanding when no one else can give it. I suffer from depression and have been back on medication for the last year, I am finding it very difficult this time round as doctors in their infinite wisdome thought that couselling would help as well...there is much anger within me it is scarey.

anyway, just know that you are not the only one who feels the way you do and that there are people out here who are only too happy to talk either on here or via email.

take care..Lauren

[mandie]

Hi Ellie

Im am so sorry for your losses.

There will be lots of people on here who are going through the same, and will give u the support u need

love mandie x

[jasmin45]

hey i'm new too and have found this site reallly helpful so far, so many kind people who have 1st hand experience of how your feeling!
Im so sorry to hear you've had so much to cope with this year, I must say 2008 doesn't seem to be going to well for me either!
I too have emetophobia and know how it can just amplify the stress by 38213218731280
message me if you ever feel like a chat!

[marie1974]

hiya and im so sorry for your losses its no wonder u feel so down, sometimes writing it all down and chatting really helps so dont think u will bore us hun we all help and listen to each other. is there someone else that can help with your mum? as for migranes i suffer cluster migranes which are caused by stress and tension they are normal but very painful they can last for weeks. keep posting we will try to help u hugs xxx

[Gregor]

Hi Ellie,

I'm sorry for your losses and can only imagine what that must be like for you. I can understand how the past month must have affected you.

Please try to get through things as best you can. Try not to see your losses and anxiety as one and the same thing. Anyone would feel the same losing family and/or pets and your feelings are normal.

Try to take one thing at a time, dont think everything needs doing now. If you require your foot surgery urgently, then just take that as something which needs to be done, but wont be too bad. If you are able to, maybe postpone the surgery for a short while (dont put it off indefinitely though), just until you are feeling more able to go through with it.

I hope some of what i said has made some sense! i'm no expert on things, but i've been through hell to get to where i am, so i would like to think i can offer some support.

Gregor

[Anna78]

Hi Ellie

Please try to remember all the good times you had with youre dad. I lost my mum in Jan this year she was only 54 and had only been diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks before she died. I took it really hard and ended up in hospital with severe anxiety, panic and depression they also found i had kidney stones aswell.I thought i was going to die and couldnt take anymore. Everyone kept telling me it would get better with time, it has but i still miss her and always will i feel so lonely even though ive got a great family of my own. I know how you feel hun and if you ever need to talk mail me

Anna x

[gers]

Hi Ellie

I too am sorry for your loss. I understand where you are coming from. I lost my dad 5 years ago now on my daughters 8th birthday and every year I struggle to keep upbeat for her birthday as I feel terrible enjoying myself on what is now one of the best and one of the saddest days of my life.
I have a cat, and I used to really not like cats. But I got him from a friend as a kitten when I was very ill with depression and panic attacks on a daily basis, and he was a god send. If anything ever happened to him I would be just as devastated as I was about my dad.
Everybody who has been through tough times has a story to tell, and offloading that baggage to people who really do understand I think is so helpfull. Please dont feel like you would bore people, but again I know where your coming from coz I have held back so much at the moment for fear of people thinking im crazy. lol
Keep your chin up, time is a great healer, but sometimes it takes a long time.

Fiona.x