Citalopram yet again (sorry)!

[cazziep]

Hi all

I've been posting (and probably boring you!) about my experiences with citalopram over the last few weeks. I was on 10mg for 2 weeks and I've been on 20mg for another 2 weeks. Most of the major side effects have worn off (thank goodness)!

Generally, I'm better in myself. However, I'm still having insomnia, which is a symptom of my anxiety, anyway. It got worse in the initial stages of taking this drug, i.e. I was getting no sleep!

I thought I'd cracked it when, the night before last, I fell asleep on the sofa (without my sleeping tablets), woke up, took my sleepers and went to bed and got about 9 hours sleep...and I napped in the day! I have a really bad cold and chest infection at the moment, so I could have been sleepy because of that.

Last night, I fell asleep at 1.30am and woke at 5am. I could not get back to sleep! I took a little bit more of my sleeping tablet (I hadn't taken the full dose that my doc's been prescribing, anyway) and dozed on and off for 2 more hours.

I suppose I'm upset that I haven't got a settled sleep pattern after 4 weeks on the drug. I'm taking quite a high dose of Zopiclone (have done this before and managed to come off it) but my sleeping is not improving. One day I think it is, only to be bitterly disappointed when, the next night, I get a crappy night's sleep! I sometimes get just an hour or 2.

I have an illness called lupus and this causes fatigue. I need my sleep more than most people! I'm off work and want to go back soon, as I must admit the citalopram has helped with my anxiety and calmed me...but I'm just so tired! I used to be able to sleep for England! I just want to be like that again!

Could this still be a side effect of the citalopram, or is it me?! Am I hoping for too much after 4 weeks on the meds (and really only 2 weeks at the usual starting dose of 20mg)?

Looks like I'm limited to the SSRIs, as my lupus causes an irregular heartbeat. Apparently, Dothiepin (which I took a few years ago) is not so good for this...but I know I eventually got to sleep on it! I'm hoping that things will improve on the citalopram, as I don't have many more options!

I'm SO sorry for rambling. I'm tired and fed up. Will I get there in the end?

Thanks for listening

Love and hugs

Caz xx

[kairen]

hi cazziep,

I was on and off citrolapram for years, and the one thing it didnt do was make me sleep i still woke up through the night, do u have a relaxation tape i used to put that on and would always go back to sleep rather than focusing on my own thoughts and getting a bit annoyed that i had woke up, i think it is getting back into the habit of sleeping all night.

hope this helped a bit

take care xx


kairen x

[cazziep]

Hi Kairen

Thanks for the reply! I think what happens is, I wake up early and then worry about getting back off again. For some reason, I feel wide awake on the citalopram some nights, even though I'm on quite a high dose of sleeping tablets! I want to come off the sleeping pills, really.

I have had a little go with relaxation tapes, but I should really try a bit more.

I'm just hoping that the drug is not doing this to me, and if it is, that it will get better soon!

I'm also hoping, as you say, that my sleeping habits stabilise. Maybe the citalopram will make me feel less worried about sleeping...eventually!

Thanks again for the reply.

Love and hugs

Caz xx

[kairen]

Hi cazziep,

Yes i was the same wide awake as if it was time to get up, but i just to get really annoyed because i knew i should be asleep, then obviously i could not get back to sleep, if you do still have your tape use it it gets your body used to relaxing,

if i wake up now i do the relaxation in my head, you know, staring at your toes working your way up, bringing your mind back if it wanders, other wise a start thinking about the washing or the ironing etc etc,

at least you are feeling a bit calmer now so that is good, just focus on that and try not to think about the sleeping,

kairen x

[cazziep]

Hi Kairen

Thanks so much for your reply again! It really helps to know that someone knows how I'm feeling.

I really should take your advice and try not to worry so much about the sleeping! It's that worry which is probably keeping me awake!

I suppose I'm panicking that I'm taking an AD which is actually exacerbating the insomnia, rather than helping it! Is it me? Is it the drug? Will it get better? These are the things I find myself asking all of the time!

Hope you are well and thanks once again!

Love and hugs

Caz xx

[kairen]

hi cazziep.

You will get better, try not to worry about that just take one day at a time and make that day a positive one, I've been off my meds now for a coupl of weeks now and i'm doing ok obviosly with a lot of support from this site it helps so much to know you can talk to someone who understands what your going through, dont ever think u are repeating your self it s just you trying to get it straight in your head,

Read as much info as you can especially on the welcome page, it will help you understand what is happening and why and thats its not your fault,

I still have the odd blip but i can control it, so i feel im getting there,
but never think u are boring anyone we are all here to help each other,

I did worry when i first started taking meds that i might be on them forever etc etc, but dont just let them do there job, until your strong enough to face it on your own whenever that maybe.

I know everyone is different but try not to worry about meds, i had little withdrawls when i felt well enough to stop taking them,

dont worry you will get there xxxx


kairen x

[seh1980]

Hang in there Caz - I'm sure you will soon feel the benefits!!

[cazziep]

Kairen and Sarah, thanks *so* much for your support. It means a lot to me! [:X]

I am going to *try* and take a more laid back approach to sleep (I've done this in the past and it worked)! Finding it harder, at the 'mo. Maybe it's the citalopram keeping me awake, or maybe it's me trying to blame the drug for my own anxiety about insomnia!

I think, this time, in my current anxiety state, the citalopram (and CBT with my CPN) have helped to calm me earlier than the dothiepin previously did. I am able to rationalise a lot of my worries and fears...except for the sleep anxiety! Maybe that's it...I have sorted a lot of stuff out in my head, but I still need to find something to worry about...so I'm focusing on sleep!

Mad, isn't it?! [Yeah!]

Anyway, I'm off to bed now. Hopefully, sweet dreams...if not, I'm sure they will come eventually!

Thanks for listening to me once again and I wish you all the best!

The support on here is great. Sometimes, you feel so alone, don't you? I'm usually a really bubbly person and my mates just don't get this. I had bouts of debilitating anxiety in 1997 and 1998 (to do with giving up my career 'cos of the lupus) and I told *nobody* outside my family about them. I would go to work, go to the loo a lot and blow in a paper bag when I had a panic attack, but not tell a soul! I lost so much weight, but I pretended I was dieting. I'm ashamed to say I was ashamed of it! I am not embarrassed about the anxiety now. I'm off work and I've told *everyone* why. It's an illness. I'm not ashamed of my lupus, so why be ashamed of this?!

I've had a terrible year. In and out of hospital with the lupus and I had 3 miscarriages in 9 months. Lots of family problems..blah, blah, blah. Didn't address these things at the time. I try to be so strong and, yes, bubbly. Hey, I've finally broken! Things just catch up with you, don't they?

Waffling again! [Oops!] Sorry, the Zopiclone is kicking in (and I've been naughty and had a bit of wine!) so I'm a bit hazy! LOL! Thanks for listening!!

Love and hugs

Caz xx

[Meg]

Hello Caz,

I do hope you slept last night

Lupus is an ilness that does bring with it some difficulties so well done for coping with all of that and hope its stabilized now.

So sorry to hear about your miscarriages- you will need time and space to deal with those griefs - have you been in touch with the misscarriage society at all , they can be very helpful.

I'm glad you are no longer ashamed...




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[cazziep]

Hi Meg and thanks so much for the reply. [:X]

I got 3 hours sleep - not enough, but at least it was something! I woke early and tried the relaxation tapes, but I think I'm trying too hard.

I still think it might have something to do with the citalopram?? I will give it more time, as it has definitely calmed me (in the daytime, at least)! Insomnia is awful. I suppose it's common with anxiety.

The lupus is something that I've come to terms with over the years - I probably cope too well with it and I've tried to do the same with the miscarriages! Yes, I have been in touch with the Miscarriage Society and they were very helpful. I'm being referred to a psychologist. I think I need to learn to address problems as they happen!

Thank you so much for your advice.

Love and hugs

Caz xx