Sending myself NUTS!!!

[turtlemoon]

I'm so angry with myself today. After my post of Friday, being pleased with myself about getting through my anxiety attack etc, I've spent most of today with worry, worry, worry just flying round my brain! It's like it's gone into overdrive again and I can't shut it down. I've tried my breathing, which helps whilst I'm doing it, but I can't sit at my desk whilst at work doing breathing exercises (the office will think I really HAVE lost my mind!) I just want it to STOP!!! And it's when I start thinking like this that I get frustrated with myself and then I get angry. Then when the anger subsides it's back to worrying. The worrying is affecting me physically again at the moment as well, which is also making me angry. Sorry for the whole general angriness underlying this post everyone, but I just needed to get it out!

Turtle :(

[henri]

hey turtle,
don't apologise for your post - bet you felt better after getting all that out (better out than in, as they say!)
i know how frustrating it is - i had a relapse today after not having had a panic attack in a couple of months. i could feel it building up at work and had to leave before it got worse.
anyway, the point is that i think it's important to try and not feel angry or worried and to just say to yourself 'oh dear, here we go again, go on then mr anxiety, do your stuff, i don't care'.
of course, this is all easier said than done (i failed miserably only a couple of hours ago!).
my CBT man taught me an exercise to do at work called worry time, where i allocate myself a particular time of day during which i'm allowed to worry, say half seven in the evening. whenever i catch myself worrying before then, i either have to solve whatever i'm worrying about on the spot, or force myself to not worry about it until half seven.
anyway, it sort of helps you stop worrying for a bit, if you really put your mind to it.
sorry for rambling on and hope you're feeling better. am sure tomorrow will be a better day for you,
henri x

[sal]

Hi Turtle as henri says it is better getting it out how you feel and you never need to apologise.

Mixture between worrying and anger, it is hard and one disappears and the other takes control.

In time it will get easier and dont forget how well you did getting through your anxiety attack and you will do it again hun, trust me.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[pips]

Hi Turtle,

I know how you feel i'm a born worrier! I think alot of us are that's why we suffer so bad hey!

Don't beat yourself up over it. I know it's so hard but the best thing you can do is try to accept whats happening to you. Even though you feel like C**P the more you fight it the worse it can get!

Good luck i know it's not easy!

Take Care hope you feel better soon.

Love PIP'S X

[sal]

Hi Turtle

Hope today is better for you hun.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[kairen]

Hi turtle moon

I hope today has been a bit better for you, i know it awful when you have been doing so well, but its just a blip, try and keep positive i know its hard when you are all churned up,

I do hope you are a bit better today

take care


kairen x

[turtlemoon]

Hi All

Thanks for your posts of support. It really does help to get these feelings out and I know I don't need to apologise to you all, but I suppose I look at it from my point of view. I've had to be around me the whole day with my brain going to ten to the dozen, so when I come on here and write it all down I just get annoyed with myself and imagine that's what everyone else is doing too! Like there's a huge crowd screaming, 'Shut up!' or something.

I'm feeling a bit better anger wise today. I'm not so 'Grrrr' as I was and I've been able to keep myself busy enough to not let it bother me too much. Unfortunately, just as that feeling seems to be going, another is taking it's place. In a way it's worse because this one is the 'what's the point' feeling. Like, what's the point in my doing such and such because no one will notice. Or what's the point in seeing my friends because all I'll do is make them miserable. The list goes on and I know it's my anxiety 'talking' but I can't help it! And then of course the frustration starts again because I keep looking back at how I was before I was like this and I LONG to be like that again. It's probably not the right word to use, but in my head I was normal back then. I long to be me again and I don't know how to be!! Which of course is also rubbish because I do know how to be me again - I have to do what I did the other day and not let the anxiety get to me. It's just sometimes it feels easier to let it get the better of me and give up fighting it all the time.
Anyway, I've brought Dr Claire Weekes book Self Help For Your Nerves because I felt this book was an absolute rock to me in my worst times. I'm hoping by having it as a permanent reference guide, I can finally overcome the frustration and anger I've been feeling of late and give you guys' eyes a rest from reading my waffle all the time!

Turtle[xx(]

[kairen]

thing is turtle you arent forcing anyone to read it we read it cos we want to help, so you dont need to worry about that one anymore, i get that terrible Grrr feeling especially when i am pmt but i have been taking b6 complex for a month or so now and im quite pleased to say i have only had a little growl not a big GGGGRRRR as normal so im hoping they are working even if they arent and its all in my head i do feel calmer , just take each day as it comes good or bad and try not to lok 2 far ahead i will look out for that book i like to read up on it too. megs welcome page made more sence to me than all the hours of counselling i've had, but i read that in the privacy of my own room and im not talking to a stranger any way now who is waffling LOL

take care hun and just relax your doing good xx

kairen x

[sal]

Turtle

However you feel we are here to support you. You need to get the anger out so why not share it with us, thats what we are all here for to help each other.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.