Relationships

[rhowes2000]

Hi,

i was just wondering what other peoples views would be on this. Do you think it would be better to have a relationship with someone who has anxiety as they understand you? I am in a relationship at the moment and my g/f is very supportive but I do feel really bad having these symptoms and she has to deal with them all the time, she doesnt suffer from anxiety at all, but I am worried with the way things are going she may end up having it too.

[tattybear]

Hiya Richard,

I know how you feel. When I got with my fiance over 6 years ago, I wasnt suffering with depression and anxiety, but in the last year i have been.

I feel guilty about putting him through it, and also as you say, I worry that I put too much pressure on him, and that he;ll end up having depression on anxity.

I couldnt imagin not being with him as he really has been my rock esp the last few months when its been at its worst.

I dont think necessarily going out with somone with anxiety would be a good thing or a bad thing...I have anxiety / depression but I wont give in and let it rule my life and dictate who i should be with...on the other hand it may help some people to be with somone who suffers too.

Its a hard one and ive probably just contradicted myself the whole way thru this post!!

I dont know..what works for one doesnt for another..each to there own.

Myself, I dont think it wold be healty for me to be with another suffer and in a relationship with them, just because I have to many issues to deal with myself before having to cope with theres too on a daily basis...I hope that doesnt sound selfish...but then again for some poeple it may be a support.................OH I dont know!!!!!![:I]

Just realise how long this post is and how contradicting it is!!!!!! Sorry!

Its a hard one tho!


Tatty B xx

[rhowes2000]

Thanks for your views, it is difficult isnt it. I know exactly what you mean, suppose it is just a question without a right or wrong answer it depends ont he situations involved etc

[carlin]

Hi there,
This is a difficult one. personally i don't think being with another sufferer would be of any benefit to me whatsoever, on saying that my best friend suffers, it's what brought us together initially, but if it was hubby, i don't think it would work for us, he 'sort' of understands what i'm going through, i think (and this is only my point of view) that i need someone a little stronger than me (anxiety wise i mean) because it sort of encourages me to do things which, if we both were the same, i probably wouldn't do. Now, having said all of that (none of which makes much sense)finding fellow sufferers on this site, was one of the best things that could have happened to me, to let off steam, get advice etc.. from people who really understand what i'm going through and without being judged is fantastic. unless you do suffer, i don't think you can really appreciate what's going on. gosh i do go on don't i.and by the way, i've been with hubby for years and he does not have any signs of anxiety whatsoever. sorry to have go on so much, a yes or no would have done wouldn't it! take care...

[vernon]

Hi, I have had anxiety/phobias and all sorts for many years, My wife don'r suffer as such but everybody has there own anxietys about different things but not maybe as intence as us. My wife has anxietys(which I am sure everyone does) but it dont seem to effect her life or make her Ill like us. So the answer to one question is in my case it hasnt effected or rubbed of on my wife or children. The other is we are no different to any other people just becouse we let out anxieties get to us more, so why should she leave you? If you are attrected to someone then find there is a problem love would not affect this at all/ If a couple did break up it would be no good blaming anxiety or anything els becouse people do break up anyway. hope this has helped a little. take care. Vernon

[rhowes2000]

Thanks for your input carlin and vernon. Its very helpful to hear your experiences. I certainly agree its good to have someone stronger anxiety wise, with you

[mumof4]

It can be hard on a relationship it has been on mine and one occasion we did split up but only for 6 weeks.

My partner is very supportive but it can drive u apart.

[sal]

Richard

Let her support you, it isnt like the flu where she can catch it from you. Yes she at times may feel pressure but she will know to have time to herself to keep herself strong to help you.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.