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Thread: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

  1. #1

    Thumbs down Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Oh my god. I am literally a prisoner in my home again. My oldest son has to walk his brothers to school and then run for his school bus. I can't go shopping. I can't go to my Mums and After-School Activities have become impossible. OK. I have been here before and thought I had started to overcome my going out fears but the Panic Attacks are back with a vengeance. I have started to have attacks in the house just before I have to go somewhere. 9 times out of 10 I can't go in the end. The biggest problem I have right at this minute is my sons both have a football match to play tomorrow. My hubby will be at work and I don't know if I am going to be able to take them. I had a whopper of a panic attack at their training ground two weeks ago and now its just another place associated with panic attacks. The list is huge now. I do not feel strong enough, neither physically or metally, to fight this thing anymore. Before, the fear of letting my kids down gave me the strength to push through my fears and anxieties but now it just depresses me. I sleep when the kids are at school, the house is a mess, I think my whole family are sick of me and I don't know what to do anymore. I went back to the doctor last week to try to get some extra support but all she did was try to convince me that I am a confident, intelligent and useful member of society. Trouble is I don't see it myself. Now that the depression has got a hold again I can't see anything anymore. At the minute I am just trying to hold off going back to bed so I can get some relief from it all but I can't fight it anymore.

    Help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    89

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Is there anyone else you can take with you to the football match? I know it's not ideal to depend on someone coming with you, but as it's so close and you feel as you do, maybe it's a good idea to ask someone to come with you, and then you wouldn't be alone. A friend/relative/neighbour/another mum?

    In the long term, my advice (but i'm not an authority on any of this) would be to go back to the dr and get some medication. My reasoning behind suggesting this is that if you can have medication, you might be able to get over this more quickly. It sounds like it's going to be short-lived. I mean, you do sound like a strong person, and maybe you just need a little chemical assistance if you know what I mean.

    Well, let us know how it all goes.

    Take care
    xx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    2,133

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Hi.
    I really feel for you, i do. I had the same situation myself just this week. It was my sons sports day and i was feeling all the normal feelings of anticipatory anxiety two days before. I did have my ex to go with me but my sons school is a TWO minute walk away, so my goodness, its not far! Anyway, i explained to my son (who is 9) that mummy will try to go but if i need to go he'll know why and that mummy loves him and wanted to be there but felt too poorly to stay. He was very understanding and told me that i didn't need to go if it would make me feel unwell. However, i did manage to go but only stayed for 30 minutes, not because of panic, but being on the field kicked off my wheezing and i didn't have my inhaler with me!!!

    The way to stop this panic in its tracks is to go right back where you had the panic attack and prove that its NOT the place that is making you panic, because rationally we KNOW its not dangerous or scary...it is our stupid minds trying to make us think its frightening and that something dreadful will happen. The sooner we try and stand up to PANIC the sooner it'll get bored of trying to rule our lives.

    Feel free to PM me if you like

    Belle..
    __________________
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    Panic attacks started in 1992. 1998 i became agoraphobic which lead into being room bound. Couldn't even get upstairs. 2002 i started getting better, able to drive and work. 2005 i became house bound again. 2009 i have been making SLOW progress, still not able to go anywhere alone, but my journeys are getting longer. No where near 'normal' but at least i can go out.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    143

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Hi

    Reading your post I really felt for you as I had lived like you for the past 3yrs. I would recomend you read 'Self Help for your nerves' by Claire Weeks.

    She advocates not fighting anxiety, facing each symptom, feeling it, floating through it and accepting it. This really does work. I suffer with anx/panic/agoraphobia, when I go out now I never think I will fight this, I think I will float myself down the road, in the shop etc. etc. It is amazing how just by thinking the word 'float' it automatically calms you, whereas thinking the word 'fight' 'battle' etc automatically causes you to tense in
    anticipation. If I find I can't manage something I don't react as if it is the end of the world anymore as that makes you feel like a failure and life is always doom and gloom. I just say 'oh well, no big deal, I'll try again'. It's surprising how relaxed and enjoyable your life becomes living with the anxiety

    Ask someone for help for now to get you over this and believe me you will be able to recover from this.

    Sending you hugs

    Diane

    'Remember, your imagination is always much worse than the reality'

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    134

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    I can totally relate to you and your situation, i have been becomming more and more house bound as the weeks have gone by, im now in the situation where i only go out if its 100% neccessary. its far from ideal.
    my son has his assembly at school on monday and im already terrified at the thought of being in the hall with all the other parents, even tho i know that they're not there to see me.
    its such a difficult time at the moment and im supposed to be moving house next month.

    im not really in a position to offer advice because if i knew the answer then i wudnt be on this site now. all i can really say is just keep your chin up and dont be defeated. Be a survivor and not a victim.

    Billy
    __________________

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    339

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Hi I totally understand how you are feeling. I too am agoraphobic and my three youngest children are all in primary school. Usually my 20 year old son takes them for me, but some days...like today..he had to work early...and as I had no one else to take them...I kept them home...wrong of me I know.

    I (next month) have my sons sports days coming up...and already have got myself worked up about it. I really do want to go, as it will be my 5 year olds first sports day...but I know the chances are that I wont.

    Sorry i cant offer you any advice...but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

    Kaz
    __________________
    I am nothing special...I am just me!

  7. #7

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Hi
    I to can understand totally how you feel every day for me i live in total terror and fear been stuck in my home i now call a prison for over a year and a half even housework has me drained

    my son who is severlly handicapped i cannot even be left alone with for five mins so poor hubby ends up having to take him everywhere

    I have so many things i missed due to this agro panic eg being with my beloved father when he was dying.my daughters graduation,sons wedding the list is endless

    I wish i was of more help to giving you advice on here but i just wanted to say you are not alone and please feel free to pm me anytime

    I also can relate to wanting to go back to bed all i seem to do is hide away in bed but even then i lie there petrified crying guilt the lot symptoms are never ending i wouldent wish this on my worst enemy

    dizzie

  8. #8

    Re: Housebound Again. Help Me!!

    Thanks for all the advice and support. Just to let you know I managed to attend the football. I felt my usual symptoms coming on. The vertigo and sight problems are the worst at the minute. I actually forced myself to go talk to a group of footie mums which really helped take my mind off the way i was feeling. It stopped that whole 'trapped in your mind' situation. I also persuaded (bribed) my oldest son to come with me too. He had been a rock for me when his dad is at work and I am really proud of him. Anyway, thanks again for the support. I know I will prob start to become anxious again as I come upto Saturday again but at least now I can get through it even if it is very uncomfortable.

    PS. Just to let you know re: dr and meds. I have been on propanolol for about 7 months. I went back to the doc two weeks ago and she told me I had to start valuing myself more (duh!) and go out and find something to do because and I quote 'Your life is dull'. Not sure she understands the whole panic attack thing and how it totally debilitates you and your life. I used to have a life but gradually became unable to live it.

    Thanks for listening.

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