Harming others....Intrusive thoughts....

[FroggyPrince]

All these horrid thoughts sound sooooo familiar. I went through a phase of having these years ago...what if I do this, what if I do that etc. All of these 'what if' thoughts had one thing in common for me:

I never acted on any of them. Ever.

Best Wishes,

Paul (Froggy)

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Windows ( I like your name by the way...)

Just to let you know that you are not the only one who has thoughts like these.

I have thoughts about killing certain members of my family who have been so selfish and stupid in the past.

I could quite happily bludgeon them to death with a claw hammer...but I wouldn't. It's just a thought and no matter how intense or real it may seem in my mind's eye, and no matter how much alarming and distressing emotion comes with it...it always goes away eventually.

Distraction is good and maybe you could find a safe way of acting out these murderous thoughts on an object. Perhaps you could think of the name of someone who has hurt you, write it down on piece of paper, put it on a pillow on your bed and whack the hell out of it with a stick...or something similar.

I've tried it myself from time to time and although it induces a headache in me, this may be because there is a lot more anger under the surface.

I'm sorry to hear about you circumstances. They make mine seem trivial. Glad that you are talking about these things on this forum. A very healthy and sensible thing to do.

By the way, I don't think you're a bad person. Lots of people have these thoughts. Perhaps they don't admit to them because killing someone in the mind is a much safer and healthier option than killing someone in reality.

Take care and all the best

[JasonB]

You are definately not alone!!

I have been going through this recently, and it has caused me to get VERY depressed at times. And it is OCD combined with anxiety, panic disorder, and a "Fear of Losing Control".

Here are some of my thoughts on how to overcome it and move on:

Everytime a thought surfaces, just label it OCD, and dont react to it. The worst thing you can do is react to it, because there is no real emotional connection to the feeling. It is just your brain stuck in a pattern of obsessive thinking. And because you are anxious by nature, like me, its thinking about the wrong things.

Realise you have a 'fear.' These thoughts are arising NOT because you actually want to hurt someone, but because you DON'T want to hurt someone. It is a fear of "Losing Control."

Its like when you say "Dont think of a Pink Elephant" and its too late because you already have. Your brain is probably saying, and it has done for me, "Dont think about harming someone"....

...but its too late, you already have, and now you feel sick, anxious and depressed.

DO NOT WORRY!

Its just a form of OCD, and you can treat it with mental techniques and exercises, NLP, and even medication.


If its still getting you down, go and see your Doctor. Tell him everything, and how you have researched on the internet, and that you have a variation of OCD.

Do not feel like you are alone. Go and see a counsellor and explain everything. They won't cart you off to a mental hospital.


There are many people out there who get very reclusive because of these thoughts, and I did for a while too. I felt like I needed to shut myself away so that I wasnt a threat to people, and so I didnt have to worry. There are many people out there who probably get so bad with this and never really understand why, that they either become a complete recluse, or they can no longer go on. And I can empathise with both. But...


What you have is an entirely normal situation for someone to be in. The important thing is identifying it, labeling it, coming up with a plan of action to deal with it, and sorting it out.


Good luck,

Peace

Jason

[Worried worrier!]

Just Want To Say A Huge Thank You To Cleo And Windows. I'm Having Alot More Good Days Than Bad At The Moment. You Have Both Helped Me To Think Differently Too. Cheers. Xx

[eveanna]

Hey,
I have lots of irrational fears which fortunately I can now label as fears only - once you can do this, everything becomes more clear. Now when I think up an awful image and would usually think "Eve that's a terrible thing to think: you must be turning into a horrible, evil monster", i think "I know what this thought it: this thought is one of my fears. Hello, fear - stay as long as you like but recognise that you are not who I am or what I want." They can be terribly strong and make me feel that I can act them out, but the truth is, they really are just terrifying fears. I hope you will find help in this too.
And remember the 2 primary ways you can tell you are not a threat to society are - 1) the fact you feel guilty or worry about the thoughts and 2) you have no history of acting out thoughts or of violence. Good news!!
Good luck!

[eveanna]

PS - Windows, you should have no concern about ever acting out any of your thoughts. But just as a friendly tip - you mention you have a bit of pent up stress and anger (join the club - nothing wrong with that!). One thing that really helped to allieviate stress and anger for me was to exercise every day, eat healthily, say a prayer at night to "whoever" asking for less anger and stress in my life, kickboxing (that really helps!!!!) and meditation. The fact you have stress in your life is most likely bringing on these thoughts, and it could be a signal that you need to bring some love and self-help into your own life, just to calm yourself, and feel less fear. But remember - you are totally normal and will not in a million years be a threat to anyone. Believe us - as we have all been there....these thoughts are just thoughts. xx

[Mrmojorisin]

Hi all,

This is the first time i have been on the site, and to be honest i'm so relieved that the site exists and there are other sufferers in the same boat as me! please bear with me!

For months i have had similar thoughts of harming others, and occasionally myself, but have been so scared to tell anybody about it! Part of the reason i have'nt been able to tell anybody about my thoughts is the fact i work with vulnerable young people in my job, and feel that if i did tell a G.P or healthcare professional what i was thinking i would surely lose my job and be locked in a padded cell and bring major shame to my family and friends!

After reading earlier posts i can relate to everybody on the forum. i seem to be in a constant battle with my mind, and dread the weird impulses and urges that come over me to harm others. I am worried sick about it to be honest and feel absolutely trapped!

I had a bad episode of this today at work, where i was eating lunch with my colleagues. Everybody was in general conversation about what was on t.v last night e.t.c and all i could think about was putting my knife into the person who sat closest to me! i felt sick, i could hardly chew, my legs began to fidget and i felt absolutely terrible about it.

ive had numerous episodes like this in the last few months, and i really dont know when it will all subside, if at all!!??? i cant afford to have any more time off work as i was off before xmas with diagnosed depression and anxiety. Really dont know what to do, or where to turn! sorry its so long winded all.

[Wee-Mee]

I,too have to suffer the agony of awful horrible thoughts..

I have had the thought about smothering my mum when she slept and I got so shakey I had to hold on to something cos I was so upset,my mother is my EVERYTHING!

I have even thought about touching children inappropriately but I would NEVER do anything like that.

My friend has a little girl and I'm terrified to even hold her for fear I hurt her or something.

OCD are nasty thoughts but the difference is that we are bothered by them and would not act.

It is a hell.

I get to the poin also that if I think a bad thought,I have to do something to compensate it like touch something or another bad thing will happen and it was caused by my thought.

If that makes sense. xxx

[georgespook]

i suffered with this stuff for years. Drinking too much is one cause of it, believe me. If u can cut down your alcohol consumption these thoughts will back off, slowly butt steadily. I still feel them coming back now, so then i just stop drinking for a week and there they go again. Its not magic it's fact that alcohol does do this too us all. Also other drugs can cause anxiety. I thought i was a mad man, ready to run around town with an axe..... its a horrible condition and i would not wish it upon my worst enemy. If anyone is suffering now, email me or contact me and i will try to help. I have been there, you dont have to suffer. Oh and before you start thinking that i want money, think again..... i am happy to help for nothing friends. Be strong!.

[pmrob1]

i too am suffering with horrible intrusive thoughts about hurting people i love. It is really distressing and i try to use the techniques taught in cbt but it is very difficult.
i am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Has anybody had these thoughts and been treat with another medication as well as mirtazapine?