My picture

[Bill]

I'm walking alone through a dark wood with tall trees that enclose me. I feel trapped with no escape and my body is trembling with panic. It wants to run but it knows not where, and my legs won't move because they ache with fear. I look up but all I see are dark menacing clouds as my cheeks become wet with the raindrops that fall that merge with my tears of terror.

Suddenly a glimmer of light appears shining a way out of my suffering. I find the strength to walk towards it as its dust filled beams illuminate through the shadowy leaves. As I reach the boundary of the wood, the rains begin to ease and I'm filled with a warmth emitting from before me.

An image begins to shape in the glowing warm light. The face of a woman with arms outstretched guiding me towards her. Her golden waves of hair flow on the gentle breeze and her glittering eyes sparkle as precious jewels with pristine perfection heaven sent. With her fair cheeks slightly blushed pink of soft satin sheets, her red rose smile allures me with their texture of glossy tender petals. As I walk closer, her sweet perfume surrounds me as a garden of summer flowers and I become intoxicated by her heavenly beauty. Dressed in her cream silken gown, her comforting feathered wings draw me close and encompass me in the security she provides.

I open my eyes, my anxiety has passed. My body feels relaxed and my terror has subsided. I look up from my bed and I see the picture of my angel on the wall. The angel I last looked at before I closed my eyes in fear. This angel that is always there watching over me who I picture and who comforts me in my times of need.

Sometimes it can be an angel and sometimes it's a warm summers beach with the waves lapping the shore but whenever we totally absorb ourselves with an enjoyable picture, it can help us to relax, if we focus on it totally.

[milly jones]

bill

what a beautiful piece of writing hunny

im glad u have ur angel watching over u.

i find relaxation so very difficult to achieve, visualisation so hard.

ive searched and searched for relaxation tapes to help, tried loads of techniques.

perhaps u could use ur talent for words to think about producing some meditive/ visualisation tapes for others?

when inchy does his meditation in nmp chat, it is so good reading the words, but would be much more comfort to listen and close ur eyes.

im still searching for my angel

love mill xx

[Bill]

im still searching for my angel

Try looking in the mirror. I think the majority of people on here can't find their angels too because they ignore the good within themselves and only others can see the angel that exists within them. If you need proof, ask others on here what they think of you Milly. You'll have no fear of any rude comments because I Know what they'll say. Yes, I can hear you laughing but I dare you to ask!

It's true though that we could all do with an angel to watch over us. I keep mine close to my heart. She is always there when I need her and she always holds me close when I'm low because she is always in my mind from the moment I wake in the mornings through every day and through every night in my dreams. I can't hold her but every time I close my eyes I can see her warm smile and during each day she exists where I find beauty from a sweet scented red rose to a butterfly that floats on the breeze, to a romantic piece of music that moves me to every raindrop that falls, to every reflection in every pool and in every sun ray that dries and comforts me. Without her in my mind, life would have no meaning.

As for relaxation tapes, you wouldn't want to hear my boring voice but I know mental health teams and therapists can provide them because they did some for me during my bad period so try asking them.

[pooh]

BIll!

I think you should take yourself off on a creative writing course. I'm really serious! You have a way of communicating with words that really could develop into a book. Have you written one or even thought about it?

Pooh x

[dawny]

bill,

wow....i wish i could write such beautiful words....

.....you moved me to tears...

your words are so powerful.

thank god we have you in our nmp family xxxxxx

dawny x

[milly jones]

aww bill im embarrassed now lol

ty so much

mill xxxxxxxxx

[Bill]

Pooh,

I've "compiled" a book but not on anxiety and I've never had it published. It was compiled from family WW2 research but the vast majority created from survivors I located and their stories.

I have a folder of poems. I would write them then just store them as I'm sorry to say my wife has never been able to appreciate them. I have more than enough for a book. They are a mixture based on my emotions but the majority are romantic based on dreams such as the angel.

I don't post them on here because I don't feel it would be appropriate but I'm always happy to share them if they would bring pleasure to anyone.

Dawny,

Sorry I made you cry. I didn't mean to. I just write from the heart and whatever flows at the time. I'm just a romantic!

I'll copy this poem purely as a "one off" small sample of the type of poem I write. Sorry if it's too sickly for some! Hope it doesn't make you cry this time!

Milly,

Sorry I you. xxx



My Rose

If I could find the right words, I'd tell you how much you mean to me,
How few people there are like you in this world, this deep blue sea,
Suffering alone is so hard, yet made so easy knowing an angel like thee,
Each day so long, an endless struggle to survive, to live and be,

If I could do the right things, I'd bring all life's pleasures to you,
For that is the very least a man like I would want to do,
You are so precious, a sparkling gem of lilac blue,
A glowing green pasture of glittering droplets of dew,

If I could bring you happiness and pure joy beyond your wildest dreams,
I would fly to the ends of the universe to shine them to you in golden beams,
Then shower you with light in rods with ribbons in gleaming reams,
That would fill you with my love to show how much to me you mean,

If I could make and do all these things for you, I would be happy indeed,
To plant such pleasures to grow and flourish from seed,
For you are such a flower, a wondrous rose in a garden of weeds,
That should be admired and cherished for all eternity.

[pooh]

BIll If I can get poetry published....and you are far better than me...you gotta give it a go. The book idea sounds fantastic too! Why not take the leap?

The following is an idea I had for a book. I'm gonna pitch it to you and offer it up if it interests you cause I know I'll never write it.....

Title: Conversations in a life thus far........
The idea.... starting from any given age the story moves backwards and we learn about an individual who they are their live hopes dreams dramas relationships. As we read the story of their lives backwards through these conversationsa we build an understanding of why the person is where and who they are today. A quirky Idea I liked was to have the last chapter be a conversation between the character as a child and a parent discussing what they would like to be when they grow up. This has to be about the child growing up to be a writer because that generates a genuine real interaction with the reader, they are holding the book dreamt of by the child and written by the adult self.

I believe you could do amazing justice to an idea like that. It's yours! you can think about it, write it or discard it, but I'd buy it.

Pooh xxxx

[pooh]

PS Your poem is beautiful x

[milly jones]

bill hun pls share more

we love them

mill xx