Willow

[Willow]

Feeling really down today about everything, yet nothing in particular.
Could blame the weather i suppose (rain again)
Normally i can pick myself up, but today i cant seem to do that.
Staring into my coffee, sitting at my desk at work. Trying to smile as people keep commenting on how miserable I look.
Took my venlafaxine this morning, praying that it does something spectacular today but it just seems to numb everything, which feels worse.
I think if i could have a good cry id feel so much better.
Sorry all, dont mean to depress everyone else as well with my tales of woe.
Must get on with some work
Will chat later
Diane

[Jo]

Hi Willow - I have days like this too!! I just can't seem to get motivated at all - so I know what it is like. How long have you taken venlafixine? Maybe it is worth you visiting your G.P Diane, because I am really no expert, but you surely shouldn't be feeling numb???

I had a good cry myself yesterday . I am a student, completing my final year. It has been a rocky 1-2 years really because I started having panic attacks May 2002. I am a bit better now thou. Do you have family/partner to support you Diane?

Take care Diane

Jo xxxx

[Willow]

I live quite a long way from my family, although I speak to my Mum most days. I have quite a few good friends who are there for me. My boyfriend left me in September and since then I have been living with friends as I had to leave my house. The people I live with want me to move out by the weekend, I did have somewhere else to go but its fallen through. If push becomes shove, I can move in with my mum but my Dad is not well at the moment as is due to be admitted to hospital with alchol probems. My Dad has been on Diazipam since 1971 so I hope they take him off that as well!
I feel a bit better now ive had my coffee and my cigarette.
Ive been on the Venlafaxine for a year now, when I say NUMB, i mean my emotions, it sort of makes them foggy and unclear.
I started my panic attacks about the same time as you, it was just before my 18th birthday. I had a joint birthday party and had to leave early because of the chest pains i was getting.
The panic has eased of a lot now, I find that if I feel a panic attack starting it kind of just wears off. Maybe thats because of the tablets. Instead I just feel highly emotional and will snap and cry at the most silly things.
What are you studying (I am assuming you are at uni)
Must get back to work for a bit.

Diane

[benoo5]

hi diane,

to be honest,the weather here in london,is so miserable today,i cant imagine anyone feeling chirpy.

well done on carrying on working,its good to have people around you,someone to talk to.

i hope you feel better,as the day goes on...bryan.

[Jo]

Hi Diane - I am training to be a teacher! I am finding it difficult at the mo - heightened anxiety!

If you want to arrange a time when we can meet in the chat-room, that would be nice??
Jo x

[Willow]

Unfortunately I cannot get into the chat room as this is my works computer and the site has been filtered!!

Thank you all for your messages, im starting to cheer up a bit more now.

The weather here in Peterborough is horrible and I just dropped my last cigarette in a puddle, so am wating for it to dry out!!

Roll on Summer as I hate the dark nights and mornings. Its nice to get uo and hear the birds singing and see the sunshine.

My line manager is out today so hopefuly I will have a nice relaxful, stress free day.

Diane

[Laurie28]

Hiya Willow,

I hope u feel better as the day goes on. Please put it down to a bad morning nd not let it ruin your day

my mother was also recently admitted to hospital with alcohol problems and got out yesterday.

She has been on diazapam for 20 years as well. They did take her off diazapam and anti-depressants but gave her back her diazepam as she was detoxing from enough (the alcohol alone must be bad enough)

Anyway I hope you dad is ok and getting the help he needs (and hopefully wants)

My mum was in for three weeks and it was nice after a week or so to get my mum back again. She has done herself permanent damage but just nice to have a nice sober lucid chat to her

Take care and try to be positive and let us know how you are doing
Love
lucky

[Lottie32]

Willow

Glad you're feeling a bit better. I'm not on medication, but often feel very numb. I think sometimes, your body can shut down your emotions if you've been on a bit of a roller coaster, it's self preservation kicking in.

I hate the winter, my CBT lady noticed I was down the other day, and I realised that it was mainly due to the dark and cold, so have made a huge effort to go for a walk when it stops raining and the sun comes out.

Well done in what you've achieved - realising you've got a problem, taking action, and returning to work. Thats three major steps, you should be proud.

Have you tried any other forms of therapy, other than drugs. I found CBT to be very useful, as have a lot of others on this site. Just a thought.

Keep up the hard work, and take care



Charlie

[Willow]

I tried yoga for a while but it didnt do much for me. I also tried listening to a relaxation tape (it has a man speaking and telling you to relax your body etc..) this made me fall asleep (i dont know if its supposed to do that)

I am considering getting one of these light boxes which produces the equivalent to natural sunlight, as they are supposed to be very good and can help lift your mood in winter. Has anybody ever tried one of these??

Diane

[benoo5]

hi diane,

that sounds like a good relaxation tape,and if it sends you to sleep,all the better...relaxation tapes work on your subconscious,whilst your asleep,so there doubley(?) good.

nicola would be interested in the name of it,as she has trouble sleeping,if you remember,you could post it in<top tips> topic..thanks..bryan.