Hello all,
after vernons thread about recovery and micos response to read if anyone has recovered, to what exent i would write the following.
When i was diagionsed by GP and subsequent pshyciatris that i was suffering with anxiety i was in bits. It took no rest, it was with me every moment of the day, every thought scared me, every movement frightened me, i had no rest at all. this was back in march 2004 after I suffered a mild concussion, I was so worried i had damaged my brain permantely it took over my life, when this was cleared up i then thought i had scizoprinia, when this was resolved i convinced myself i was bi polar depressive, when this was cleared up i was convinced i had epilepsy.....and then diabetes, then....well then anything i read about as my symptons were unbeaable and couldnt just be anxiety!!
I was so tired, tiredness that made me almost fall asleep when driving, a tiredness of mind and body a tirdenss that made me say this is not normaL AND CANT BE ANXIETY!!
i had headaches, crushing headaches, headaches that made my vision go double, my face ached, I had tinnitus in my ears all the time........i thought i was truly going mad.....i was convinced of this fact.........i found it hard to function at all.......
i had thoughts that i might kill someone, terible scary images which just reinforced my belief of insanity, i had thoughts of hurting my wife, family......horrendous thoughts......thoughts that almost redcuced me to tears at times...........thoughts that made no sense so...i must be mad........
i was scared to go shopping, scared to talk to people scared to go near small children....as what if i did something to them???!!! scared to speak to starngers in case i started barking like a dog!!! i know it sounds crazy but i truly belived that any of these things could happen....and probably would happen.
I searched and searched the world looking for an answer as it just couldnt be worry..........it had to be something worse..........
so......how did i get better??
well, firstly i never ever stopped doing things, like going to the shops, like talking to people, always went to work....and belive me if anyone says he mustne of been that bad i can tell you it was a struggle beyond belive.......i was borderline hospital case but i never ever stopped functioning even on a very redcued level.......i couldnt and wouldnt give up.
i started to make sure my diet was correct, sensible meals at sensible times, i made sure i got out every day.........but the real brake through for me came in accpeting, just simple acceptance and patience.
accpeting that tommorow i wouldnt feel perfect, accpeting it was just anxiety and being patient in the fact that it would ease. Not being afarid of my thoughts, just accepting them as thoughts not instructions, laughing at there studipness.........
learning that your thoughts control your body, think frightening and be frightened, and accetping that..........accepting that these thoughts are just thoughts.
i also accepted that DR and DP are just normal responses to stress and inward thinking....and when this strange feeling came along just go with it....its just a chemical response and your bodies way of dealing with your thoughts, not impending doom of insanity........and it eases........
when i began to see that my body and mind were easing by just simple being paitent and accepting this situation for what it is, just worry, life became simplier. i began to see my personality return, though a little more understanding this time, i began to recognise some of my thinking as exstreme in the past and by doing this you can deal with smaller issues on a more realistic basis. and this has helped enormoulsy in recent months.
my doctor once said it taken a long time to get to this state and it will take a long time to recover, and he was right, we want rid of this tommorow but by hoping for this we are only perpetulating the worry and despair when it doesnt happen, accpet it wont happen tommorow or the day after but do accept that it will happe
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I am sooo happy for you.
