An Open Letter to My Panic and Anxiety:
Good morning panic and anxiety.
Today is not only the first day of the rest of my life (as they say), but it is also the first day of the rest of yours.
I want you to know that I am fed up. I also want you to know that some changes are going to be made around here, effective immediately.
I've put up with you most of my life. But I'm not the same person I was back then, and along the way I've learned all about you. I know how you pick on those that fear you. The more someone fears you, the more powerful you become. You are a bully, plain and simple. But, like most bullies, you are also a coward . . . and that is going to be your downfall.
I am not going to fight you to defeat you. I know from learning and experience that I'll lose that battle, for sure. In fact, I am going to beat you by going along with you. That's right, no resistance at all. I've got a feeling that you simply can't handle that in a person, can you?
So, as of today, you are free to take your best shot. I'm here waiting for you. You see, my strength will be my weapon, so make sure you give it your best shot.
I missed you today. Instead of you looking for me, I was looking for you. Where were you? I called out to you several times, but you were nowhere to be found. Were you hiding? I gave you the best opportunity that you've ever had to do your best, but I received no response in return.
What were you thinking when you watched me take out my cell phone and leave it in the car? Did you scratch your head when I took the pill case containing my "emergency" xanax and locked it in the glove compartment? That must have been quite confusing for you!
Oh, don't get me wrong, I felt you at first. Yes I did! You began to make my heart beat faster like you've always done in the past. But you were hesitant. When I began addressing you directly, with such talk as "ok, here I am, take your best shot", I can only imagine the look on your face! But as I moved away from the car and began my walking journey, you didn't pounce -- you retreated. I called and called for you, but were too confused to respond. Where were the skipped heart beats that sent me to the hospital the other night? You could have thrown a few of those my way, but you didn't. I think better that you COULDN'T. Isn't that right?
My friend (whomever, whatever you are), I am exposing you to the entire world here on this forum as the fraud that you are. From here on out you are welcome to come on anytime, anywhere you please. I am here waiting for you. Let's see what you've got to offer. But you better be ready for me to just take it as it comes -- because I no longer care about you or what you can do. I now know that, given the right circumstances, you can't do anything at all, can you?
Bring it on.
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