ANGER
Do many people suffer real pangs of anger? Anger at themselves, anger at being ill, anger where you want to rip something apart, just to release the frustrations?
I really don't know how to deal with these feelings. My stress/anxiety/depression leaves me hardly able to face going outside, I sit and brood about being out of work and the rejection from my son. The meds make me very forgetful & confused & clumsy & tired. I'm on my 3rd session of counselling, but it doesn't feel like it's helping with anything.
Things are not going very well with my partner. She has told me how she resents me "sitting around doing nothing". When she asks me how I'm feeling and I tell her "Not too good", it quickly turns into a competition of "Well, how do you think it is for me having to cope with all this?" Which makes me feel even more like a useless failure.
Someone asked me the other day, what would I do if my son did get in contact, and my first instinct was "I'd tell the little toe-rag to get stuffed". I don't know how I can even face him, after the way he has behaved. The hurt is still very raw.
I dunno if the counselling has tapped into something, as in my last session the therapist asked me what my feelings are, and I replied "Hurt, Frustration, Disappointment, Betrayal, Anger" and the more I think about things, the angrier I feel myself getting.
I really feel as if I'm getting worse and worse. I tried to make an appointment to see my GP only to be told that he's away for 2 months. I have an appointment next week with the "Back-to-Work" people from the DWP regarding my Incapacity Bens.
Everything just feels like it's piling on top of me, and I can feel a rage building up on a slow fuse, like I just want to lash out in pure anger & frustration.
Last edited by kendo59; 09-08-08 at 01:50.
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The opinions stated above are the personal opinions of the writer, and not intended to offend or denigrate any opinions held by anyone else.
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