Really dont know what to do??? ADVICE NEEDED!

[popsy]

Over the last 8 months i have been very ill with severe anxiety and panic attacks/some depression, i have been improving alot and have been experiencing good periods and bad periods which im told is often a pattern of recovering from these conditions.

The problem is on wednesday i slipped back into a bad period and as you all know its awful. My main concern now is im meant to be driving my two young children and myself down to my mums for 5 days, this will take approx 3 hours including the M25!!!!! Also, staying somewhere different from home, ultimately being responsible for my children for the whole week and having to go on day trips mum has planned everyday is completely scaring the pants off me, especially as im feeling extrememly anxious & tearful at the moment and basically very poorly with the whole condition. I know if i cancel Mum will be really dissapointed and i will be letting her down AGAIN (i always feel lie im causing problems and letting people down)! Preferably i would love her to come here instead but i dont know how accomodating she will be about that??? especially if she is dissapointed with me....

Im so confused, do i risk the whole thing and just go for it and just have to deal with horrible feelings and symtoms for a week or do i take care of myself and stay at home and hope my mum will come here instead???

Im sooooooo confused and cant stop thinking sbout it, i havent spoken to her yet, my hubby says i should go if i can, but im sooo scared!!!

Please please please could someone who knows what its like to feel like me tell me what to do? or at least advise me???

Thank you all for your help in advance

Charlie x x x x

[sunnydays]

I too have been really ill with anxiety and depression over the last few months and so I know how you must be feeling. If you can't do this journey then don't beat yourself up about it. You've been ill and are just in the process of recovery. It would be so easy to slip back into illness again so don't do anything to stress you out.

On the other hand, if you really feel you must do it and can do it then go. I doubt your mother would blame you if you didn't though. She must understand how you're feeling. Maybe she could stay with you as you suggested. If I were you I would get on the phone to her and discuss how you're feeling. Tell her how anxious this is making you and suggest that she comes over to stay with you.

Let me know how it goes.

love
Sunny

[pooh]

Hi Popsy

Im sorry to hear that you have been feeling so unwell recently. The decision ultimately rests with you Popsy but before you make it...here are a few things to consider...
if your mum has seen you when you are anxious and pa-ing and the physical effects of all of this sometimes, yes she may well feel disappointed if you don't go it's only natural, but i also have NO DOUBT that she will understand and come to yours if she can.
alternatively you can bite the proverbial bullet like i did last year and go anyway. I went to haggerston castle with my bf and two friends my freaking out has become something we laugh about as part of the holiday but on the whole my anx actually went down and I had a great time.
I would really like to read a thread about you having gone and all the wonderful things that you did whilst away, but this isnt about me its about the choice youi have to make, and boy do I know how difficult a one it is to call.

Whichever way you decide let us know how you get on.

Take care

Pooh xx

[mlondon]

Well that is a difficult one. I am sure the build up to is is actually worse than what you experience on the journey and at your mums. Could she possible travel to you and then travel back down in the car with you to hers. That way you won't be alone on the drive. She shouldn't be dissapointed in you, you are a very brave person to go through this. I think sometimes it is just hard for people to understand.

Take care

[marie1974]

hiya well i would say facing your fears is a good thing BUT u have to be ready to do that and if u are not i would say, only do wot u are comfortable with. your mother will understand and if she dont then that is not your problem. if u do something that u are real uncomfortable with then u will not enjoy it hun. hugs xx ps never do something for fear of disapointing family etc i spent years doing this and it made me feel awful xxx

[titchjd]

Hiya hun ...I totally understand how you feel and i bet you think about it constantly ..im the same when I have 2 go out anywhere ..even 2 the shop.
Im a briedsmaid in Nov and im sooooo scared as I just picture me paniking and ruining brides day i get myself all worked up .
when are you ment 2 b going 2 your moms ?

dont feel guilty if u cant go .i had 2 pull out of a trip with my mom 2weeks ago shed arranged a day out 4 me and my daughter but wen she came 2 pik me up i just couldnt do it ....I felt it was 2 big a step 4 me .

if u choose 2 go just remember that what u are feeling wont hurt you however bad u feel and do deep breathing .
If u can manage the drive perhaps just stay for 3 days so its not so long away from home .

well take care and let me know whatever u decide and just do whats best 4 u xxx
Titch xxxx

[Squibbet]

Hi, Popsy

Oh, yes ... got that T-shirt! ... Don't disappoint your folks, just do things the way they want even if you're ill and it's not the best for you.

I think you should go if you can, but not if it's going to throw you too much - and only you can make that judgement.

A thought, though ... you mentioned hubby ... if he understands how you're feeling, how the pa's affect you, maybe *he* could call your Mum and suggest she comes to you instead? It's quite amazing, in my experience, how disappointment can vanish in the light of someone else's confirmation that you really *are* unwell, and how much good a little TLC at home would be for you.

[Bill]

Putting your anxiety to one side for a moment, what would you "really" like to do........stay home or visit?

You should only think about going if You really want to go. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn't be able to and your mother wouldn't expect you to go so why should anxiety be treated any different?

If you Really want to go then consider making the effort because it may not be as bad as you think but don't beat yourself up if you really can't face it.

Don't go if it's just out of guilt.

Once you've decided what "you" feel capable of and "you" really want to do then talk to your mother. She would want you to keep safe.

She's probably just thinking it'd be a nice break for you without realising the worry it's causing you. If you don't want to go, I should think if you told her you really don't feel up to it, that she will offer to come to you because I'm sure she's just thinking of helping you and would be happy just to see you wherever you feel happiest.

[milly jones]

pops dont know whether ur still away

but i know u did it

really well done hunny

hugs

mill xxx