advice on how to cope with attacks?

[redballoons]

hi
I apologise that this is long!
I have suffered with anxiety in the past which affected me alot after my second child was born. I couldnt leave the house without havnig a panic attack, I would have a panic attack anytime I got too tired, or even if I was hot at one point I was having 2 or 3 panic attacks in one day.I was totally unable to do anything but at the same time I became totally obbsessed with routines, so I would make sure that things were don eat exactly the same time each day. even If i was say 10 minutes laet doing the hoovering I would end up in a major panic feeling like I was gasping for breath etc.

I did go to the doctors about it a number of times for the first few times I saw a male doctor who basically told me to relac and then went on to tell me that my blood pressure was way too high still (I had preeclampsia with my son) and put me and two seprerate blood pressure drugs which made me feel very unwell and of course panicked me even more.

when my son was about a year I saw a female doctor who at least took things more seriously but kept asking me WHY? WHY/? do i feel anxious especially since it is ALOT worse in the evenings she seemed to expect me to have a proper reason for being anxious which I dont - I knwo it is stupid, I have two healthy great children I have a fantastic supportive husband, a house we are not short of money etc I felt almost guilty that I was anxious after seeing her. she did send me to a counsellor for 6 weeks, bur again that didnt make any difference except that Iw ould get panic attacks from having to leave the house and go to the counsellor. the counsellor taught some ways to change what I ws thinking but I have found that although this works with limited things in the day , in the evening I am just totally overwhelemd and I cant think about things like that.

however, very slowly since then I have really tried very hard to do little things to help myself. At first I stuck very strictly to my routines but I would do things like just go out and sit in the garden which I couldnt before. It got to the point a few months ago where I hadnt had a proper panic attack in months and I was even able to do things out of routine etc without too much problem.

Then I found out I was pregnant. I am very pleased in some ways, I have always loved being a mum even when things were at their worst and I love the though of another little one in the house. BUT the last few weeks I have been finding things are getting out of control again, I have not been going out, when I do go out I feel faint, my legs feel shaky and I honestly feel like crying and running home. even taking my daughter the 5 minute walk to her nursery is very hard for me. In the days I have to sit down to try and relax after doing even the simplest of things, because even after say putting in a load of washing I feel like my heart is racing and I feel faint and shaky.

But the worst part is that in the evening I just feel like I have to hide away in bed as soon as my kids are in bed (they go to bed at 6) I force some dinner donw because by this time I am feeling shaky and dizzy etc and then basically run upstairs to hide away in bed. then the rest of the evening is just miserable.

everything is falling apart because I cant seem to hold things together, I haver no routine anymore, washing isnt done m only very basic tidyning is done and I feel horrible
none of the things I used to do to cope work and reading this I am just thinking well come on then just get up and do it - but I just cant.

I dont know what to do - the doctors just dont seem to be able to help and I really feel terrified. with both of my previous pregnancies I had complications that meant that I was admitted to hosptial multiple times from abour 24 weeks onwards and at the moment if that happened I just couldnt cope.
I dont really know anyone aorund here since we moved and all of my family are dead. I just dont knwo what to do

does nayone have any suggestions on how to cope with this

thanks
sophie

[Allye]

Oh Sophie I do feel for you and send you lots of hugs. From reading your post are you pregnant at the moment? If so I would suggest that you go to your doctor/midwife and demand that you get fully checked out - pregnancy does funny things with blood pressure hormones etc. and you really do need to rule out anything else physical first.

I struggled for ages with PA anxiety etc etc and saw doctors upteen times when all they kept doing was testing my thyroid which was fine. I was not even diagnosed with PA or GAD for a good while. In the end it was picked up by a locum that I actually had chronic aemaemia which was causing me to feel unwell which was causing me to panic because I thought I was going mad. It was only when I was admitted to hospital with a giant PA that my doctor started to take notice!

One very good thing my counseller said to be if that initially it was not to question why but rather start to deal with some quick fix techniques to combat the GAD etc. At the time I thought it did not work but looking back it did.

The mind is a very funny thing. It remembers and imprints things - even now I come over funny at certain places ie certain shops, visiting certain people etc. Work is still terrible as I had most of my PA here but I am changing jobs soon so that should help.

The best advice I can give you is (provided your doctor has ruled out anything physical) is to get yourself a Claire Weeks book - Nic sells them in the shop and keep reading. Once I understood why my body was acting this way I slowly began to stop fearing the symptoms as much and slowly they started to get less. The fear of the fear is the biggest trigger in my opinion for the non stop loop we find ourselves on.

You can PM me if you wish

Allye x

[redballoons]

hi
thanks for your reply, I did have some blood tests after my son was born (I know they tested thyroid but I dont know about anemia). Which came back normal. I am 12 weeks pregnant at the moment so I will be having a blood test at my scan next week which I think includes a test for anemia so hopefully I will know then about that. I think you are right about certain places causing panic attacks I have not been able to go in iceland for about 2 years even when I was feeling fine going everywhere else, which is odd.

I have not mentioned this to my midwife yet, but I have a consultant appointment in a few weeks because of my previous pregnancies and because my son was born prematurely I was thinking of mentioning it to him in case it IS something pregnancy related.

thanks again

sophie

[june]

Tell tell any medic who asks "how are you today?" Don't say "I am Ok" which is our usual response (don't want to burden others with our troubles)
just don't suffer in silence.

There are 2 Claire weeks books both well worth reading i have them both and they have passages marked with post it notes so i can easily find the bits i need. It might be "jelly legs" or "palpitations" or "dizziness" , or out and out terror/ panic ( of what? I do not know)

I have also have a book by Aine Tubridy (mine has a CD) it is slightly different to Claire Weeks. If you can afford them they are well worth it Claire's Weeks books you can get from the local library.
OUR bodies develop a bodyguard watching for every tiny out of the ordinary feeling and BANG the bodygard reacts as panic!!!!!!!
You must be really p....... off at every one saying YOU MUST RELAX.
But add me to the list
Best wishes
june

[Bill]

I think you fear losing control. When we suffer from anxiety we like to feel in control of our lives to "keep safe" but in trying to keep safe creates rigidness which in turn creates tension so that when we feel our control is being undermined, we begin to feel anxious and panics result.

Yes, you need to learn to relax but I think there's more to it than just sitting back for a moment to relax. You need to learn a more relaxed flexible approach to daily life and not worry when things aren't done as and when you want them to be completed.

For instance.........

I became totally obbsessed with routines, so I would make sure that things were don eat exactly the same time each day. even If i was say 10 minutes laet doing the hoovering I would end up in a major panic feeling like I was gasping for breath etc.

You created your routines to be done "exactly" the same each day to make you feel you were in "control" and "keeping you safe" but in doing so you created rigidness and tension because there was no flexibility so that when you were 10 mins late doing the hoovering, you felt your control was under threat which made you anxious creating your panic.

You then started to help yourself to be less rigid to not feel the need of being in control..........

At first I stuck very strictly to my routines but I would do things like just go out and sit in the garden which I couldnt before. It got to the point a few months ago where I hadnt had a proper panic attack in months and I was even able to do things out of routine etc without too much problem.

You found your anxiety reducing because you were easing your tension by being more flexible.

However, now you have become pregnant which has created new worries about keeping in control because another child means more responsibility which has added new pressures because it'll also mean change. Although you love the thought of having another child, it also means change which is unsettling you.
everything is falling apart because I cant seem to hold things together, I haver no routine anymore, washing isnt done m only very basic tidyning is done and I feel horrible -a symptom of pressure.

Added to this the complications you experienced with your previous preganancies, it has created extra worry - the doctors just dont seem to be able to help and I really feel terrified. with both of my previous pregnancies I had complications that meant that I was admitted to hosptial multiple times from abour 24 weeks onwards and at the moment if that happened I just couldnt cope.

Therefore, the "change" has unsettled you making you feel anxious which has then made you fear about coping if you have complications again. Anxiety has formed a cycle between pressure (change) and worry (coping).

You're now in a cycle of worry between worrying about coping and "what if" you can't cope And get complications again.

Try not to put more pressure on yourself than you already have by making yourself feel you Have to keep in control of everything again. You fear you're losing control again. If you don't feel up to doing something, leave it until later. Take a "so what" approach and don't allow yourself to get tensed up if something has to be left.

The more you force yourself to do things, the more tense and anxious you'll feel and the more you'll worry about coping if there are complications. You need to break the worry cycle by adopting a more laid back approach to the jobs. Ask your husband to lend a hand without feeling it's "your" responsibility to do everything. He'll understand and you shouldn't feel guilty about asking while things are too much for you. Just let him help you get through this period to ease your pressures and worries. Don't keep pushing yourself to stay in control because you'll make yourself feel worse.

You'll be fine.