Looking for other partners of OCD Sufferers.....

[NikkiB]

Hi I have been married to my hubby for 12 years and with him for 17yrs. I have known for all this time about his OCd and have played a very active role in seeking help for him. We are now going through some really tough times and dh is having a real struggle with his OCD at the moment. This is the third really bad episode we have gone through. All these years I have tried to be as supportive and positive as I can be. It is just sometimes it would be a support for me to share this with others who live through it the way I do. My family and frinds knoe and care but dont really get what it is like to live with. Sometimes I just dont know how to handle his compulsions, repetitieveness, my frustration etc, on top of working myself, running a home and bringing up our 2 kids.

Is there anyone else out there in my shoes, feelin quite alone at the moment

[nomorepanic]

Hi Nikki

aboard.

I moved your post to OCD section to see if you get more replies as I see you didn't have any.

[gtrgrl3369]

Welcome. I live with OCD and I will help if I can. Mine does not get in the way of my living and does not disprupt mine or anyone elses life. I have learned to live with mine. What does he do that makes life hard? Maybe I can help with some of the behaviors with things I was taught. I know this has got to be hard on you. People who dont have it have a hard time understaning whats going on no matter how much you love them. Kudos to yu for trying to understand and seek help. Let me know if I can be of any help. Take care.

[Bill]

I have had to learn how to cope with OCD. I used to suffer from it very badly but these days I'm able to do what I want to do without it hindering me.

I also care for my wife who suffers from mental illness which has elements of OCD so I've seen it as well as suffered from it.

If you think I can help, I'd be very happy to offer whatever I can. I'll send you a pm.

[blueberry]

hi, i have a boyfriend and we have a close relationship for 2,5 years. I finally learned that he has OCD. Thank god for his sister, she told me.He was so careful not to show me the symptoms, i thought some of his abnormal attitude is because of depression and it will pass away.. really dont know what to do.. I asked him but he didnt tell me the truth. He is still resisting and saying that "i'm the most honest person you can come across"... Why does not he share his situation? Why does not he tell me and deny his theraphy? This makes me feel uncomfortable with him. Knowing something about him and knowing that he's lying too.. Because of this situation i am loosing temper but i cant tell him that i know the truth, i promised his sister. She is afraid that he might hurt her if he learnes.. i am scared too.. would he be as rude as he is when we live in the same house and when we share the life? Does the medical help need to go on forever, or the severe symptoms repeat periodically? The most important, how can i make him tell me? nikki, in my opinion you are doing a great job.. as soon as you love him, you know that this is just some kind of treatment you have to cope with. remember you love him and you have chosen to be with him.. i could not make the decision yet, that is what make me upset..

[dme1975]

My husband has OCD and just recently I have been looking for support for myself. Looking back I guess he has always had this but when he quit smoking it all came to the surface. We have been going thru different medications for the last year and half. Some work but the side affects were a problem. Now as for myself his condition is affecting me and that is why I searched out this forum. I have gotten to where I don't want to leave the house because I worry that if I'm not home he might have a panic attack. He suffers from obssesive thoughts a lot. So I walk around on egg shells being sure not to up set him or give him something to worry about. I love him and I am in this with him, but I understand your frustration completely. He has always been the one to take care of me and our daughter and now I feel I have to take care of him, which is fine of course I would take of him no matter what but.... I don't feel that I can be sick or have an off day I am always just making sure he is OK.

[dtselling]

I've been married to my husband for 12 years and we've been together for 20 years. I figured out his OCD pretty early on but I didn't think about it getting worse as he got older. He's in the middle of a hypochondria episode in which he thinks he has severe tinnitius - ringing in the ears - which is made worse by every little sound.

We went through something similar a few years ago, when he thought he was going blind. After 6 months of going to doctor after doctor, all over the country, we ended up at Cleveland Clinic, where they finally established once and for all that there was nothing wrong with his vision.

We've been to 9 doctors on this tinnitus issue, all of whom have told him that, at worst, he has very mild tinnitus and normal sounds can't hurt his ears or his hearing in any way. It doesn't matter, he won't listen. He's thrilled that he's found an illness that's totally life-disrupting and that he thinks doctors can't disprove. He wears earplugs all the time, he can't go anywear except to his business and home. We can't go anywhere, not even to restaurants. We can't see anyone, can't have friends over, or do anything. And this has been going on since March, 2008, with no end in sight. I'm at my wits end and would love any ideas to help him get past this

[baby girl]

what shall i do about my partners continuos questions about my past relationships etc! i cant handle it anymore but want to try and help him, its getting really bad and need some advice as it is getting me so down. what can i do as he is convinced its not ocd?

[Charlottie]

My boyfriend has it and has recently decided he doesn't want to take his meds anymore, I don't know what to do because it's not like I can force him to accept help but they were really doing him good :(

[Bill]

If you read my other posts in this section you'll see how I've suffered from OCD.

I did try seroxat but I really hated the side-effects because they made me feel even more ill and so actually made my OCD worse so I can understand how your b'f feels.

The good news is that just like all types of anxiety, although meds can help to ease symptoms, they don't actually cure you but you can cure yourself just as your b'f can as I did myself.

I don't know in which ways OCD affects him but I feel I do know how to treat whatever form it takes because I treated myself. Try talking to him to find out what thoughts he's having that are making him feel the need to repeat actions. Once he starts opening up to you, if he's willing to put his trust in you, you can actually help him to cure himself but he must have faith in you and also be willing and able to resist actions that are being caused by his anxious thoughts.

For instance, when he feels the need to repeat something, he should tell you what he's thinking that's making him want to repeat an action. You could then reassure him that's it's ok to leave and once he does, his anxiety will gradually lower. Keep doing this Every time he has a compulsion with whatever action he's attempting and in time he'll learn that they are just thoughts and it is safe not to repeat so that when he's alone he can remember your words and put your "therapy" into practise. It will take time, patience and trust but it IS possible to overcome.

If he finds he can't do this alone or with your help, he'll probably need CBT but it'll often take time due to waiting lists, but tell him although I realise how difficult it is to resist compulsions, he Can cure himself.

If you need any advice, you're always welcome to pm me.