Obsessing about popularity?

[Piscian Daydreamer]

Hi all,....

I am pretty much repeating what i said in the 'introduce yourself' section as i am new. However, this topic is related to OCD, therefore, i would like to share my problem with you lot!

Have any of you ever suffered from an obssessive - popularity disorder? I see myself as a very popular person with lots and lots of friends, and good friends. I go out all the time too........ however, i cannot be happy - i need more. I cannot stop obsessing about my popularity. Its like there is something in my mind telling me I HAVE TO BE MORE POPULAR. Every friday night when i wanna go out and none of my friends ring me, i almost go insane, even thought i know they are just chiilin at home! I also worry that my friends are out having a good time without me. At university the problem is much worse. I, in general, am a popular person on the course. I am part of a big cru, one of the leaders........... however,,,,, i hold this desperation to keep recruiting more members and making the clan bigger. I am desperate to be leader, i am a control freak.... i need attention - although nobody actually knows i am like this!

I am always thinking about 'MY LIFE' and constantly comparing it to my friends lives. The fact that i havent got a girlfriend and i am still a virgin at the age of 19 (but i am good looking) overtakes my mind greatly! But it doesnt even matter???

I am so obsessed with having lots of friends that i keep doing a mind map on paper listing all of my friends just so i can check visualy that i am popular. How sad is that??

Thanks for listening.

MB

[nomorepanic]

I think that you are maybe suffering from low self-esteem.

Even though you are very popular you are craving more and more friends and to be wanted and needed as the leader of the team.

Don't worry about the virgin issue - that is not important at your age. You don't need to prove anything by having sex at the moment. You don't even need to brag about it and pretend that you have.

You may like to look into the self-esteem thing more. I was able to get some sessions at the local GP's that were aimed at improving your self-worth - just an idea?

Just live your life for who you are. Don't pretend to be someone that you aren't and don't put on a front all of the time - you don't need to.

Not sure I have helped but just some ideas and ramblings there for you to consider.

Nicola

[kairen]

hi,

anxiety can make you obsessive about a lot of things, at the end of the day every one likes to be liked, no one likes to have enemies,
try not to give yourself a hard time over this, have you ever tried any sort of counselling ?



kairen x

[sal]

Hi

It sounds to me like you feel very insecure about who you are and how you feel, hence the need to have a lot of friends and be popular.

Having lots of friends will help you but you need to like yourself in order not to need their reassurances that you are like to make you feel better in yourself.

The fact you have a lot of friends shows that you must be a nice person and they like you so you need to like yourself.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[stardust]

Hi there. I would like to offer my help. Basically i think you are lacking in confidence of certain issues and are letting it `take over` or become a bit obsessive. I dont think you have anything to be unhappy about from the sound of it. Youve got a boat load of friends. I would just like to help you realise that you are okay because i am the complete opposite. Unlike you i have hardly any friends, only two good friends. Most other people i knew deserted me and let me down, adding more blows to my self esteem. I hardly ever go out, once a few months to be exact. Im 21 and ive never had a boyfriend before, let alone never kissed or been intimate with anyone. Though i am at war with my appearance. I have got a lovley face and hair but i have a big obsession with men finding me attractive, i have the most wonderful make up, but i only put make up on once in a blue moon cos im so scared people wont turn heads or look at me, if i failed the pain would be too much to bare. Aside all the fixation with my looks, (obsessing over if im ugly or stunning) i have a big obsession with cleaning. Aswell as other big obsessions (if i told you them all id be here for days!) I am so scared to switch on my mobile, if nobody has texted me ill be so angry ill delete all the numbers i have for some kind of `power gain` Once i didnt switch my mobile on for weeks cos i was so scared to turn on the phone. With all of my obsessions, that take over and have ruined my life, i have so many regrets. I even wonder myself how i mamage to keep on living. But, im a true fighter and i keep on fighting, in the hope of finding the solution. I hope that you will realise, from seeing how much i have to cope with, that you are okay and have nothing to worry about. Trust me.