Explaining to people about my anxiety?

[phil06]

If I tell anybody about my anxiety will they end up being put off? I'm a bit worried at the moment that If I tell them any of my obsessive thoughts they are going to think "This is real, this is what he is all about or he is hiding something" like for example ones like worrying about dying, or the HOCD fear or turning gay and the manic depression fear. I'm worried they will think this is what is me and it's not.

I'm worried more because I have been single and can't find a g.f which makes me worry more and more. When I take my mind off these thoughts I'm fine. I don't get as much panic attacks now but the thoughts..I just feel they are horrible, intrusive and I want rid of them and I feel I need to tell new people so they understand. I know it's anxiety but when the thoughts appear I just feel because I have these intrusive thoughts that it's somewhere in me or something. I'm now convinced If anybody knows they just won't understand and nobody will ever be interested in me.

I feel numb with these thoughts I can't understand why they can be so controlling? Why can't I just say it's anxiety and believe it, my mind will find another excuse to convince me these thoughts are real and they spin round and round and I worry more and more. Will it change me for the person I have been all these years? or will they make me go ill or mad?

I'm terrified they will be put off and run away.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Phil...

Maybe it depends on who you choose to tell, so please be careful.

Believe me there is nothing wrong with being single and not having a G.F.

I know it's painful and frustrating but you can manage without and just because you can't find her yet it doesn't mean you never will.

Can you try to find some way of distracting yourself from these intrusive thoughts or putting them in a less threatening place where they belong? Maybe a journal or notebook for example. That's what I do sometimes. Nobody else has to read it and you can say whatever you please. Hopefully, you might be able to see the thoughts for what they really are - THOUGHTS. Not potential harbingers of doom.

I would be very surprised if you were the first or last man who thought he was going mad or who was afraid of becoming Gay or dying. Me too mate...me too.

Like you, I have all these wonderfully irritating thoughts... and more, which I have to try and deal with on a daily basis. I've already had the experience of going into hospital on two occasions, so the fear of becoming seriously unwell again is something I can relate to.

I know it's difficult to find someone who you can trust with these fears. You just never know what kind of response you might get. Perhaps NMP is one small step in the right direction. You've already made a start with this Post.

Take Care and all the best

[phil06]

Hi Phil...

Maybe it depends on who you choose to tell, so please be careful.

Believe me there is nothing wrong with being single and not having a G.F.

I know it's painful and frustrating but you can manage without and just because you can't find her yet it doesn't mean you never will.

Can you try to find some way of distracting yourself from these intrusive thoughts or putting them in a less threatening place where they belong? Maybe a journal or notebook for example. That's what I do sometimes. Nobody else has to read it and you can say whatever you please. Hopefully, you might be able to see the thoughts for what they really are - THOUGHTS. Not potential harbingers of doom.

I would be very surprised if you were the first or last man who thought he was going mad or who was afraid of becoming Gay or dying. Me too mate...me too.

Like you, I have all these wonderfully irritating thoughts... and more, which I have to try and deal with on a daily basis. I've already had the experience of going into hospital on two occasions, so the fear of becoming seriously unwell again is something I can relate to.

I know it's difficult to find someone who you can trust with these fears. You just never know what kind of response you might get. Perhaps NMP is one small step in the right direction. You've already made a start with this Post.

Take Care and all the best

Thanks. I just feel so out of touch with things. My mind is saying what if I can't find love again, what if I don't get married, what if I never have a family..or If I find a new woman and dont find her attractive because of this anxiety? sounds daft. I look at nice woman every day but I get the symptoms from the OCD page on here.

It seems to be the worst triggers I had dates months back and told woman briefly with ease. I know if I find the right woman they will understand like my ex did but it's just hard battling anxiety. I managed to ease the fears of manic depression after coming off all medication earlier this year and found out I actually never had it so I still worry but because I had firm evidence I guess I've had to lower it in my priorities of worries.

I wish I could find other ways for the others as when the anxiety is not around I just feel normal.

[Anxious_gal]

i have no advice, my family minus my mum, have teased me and have been very cruel about my anxiety. i did tell my best friend but only because she used to get panic attacks. i also hide my anxiety as much as i can.
yes make sure you trust the person you tell! good luck x x

[marie1974]

there are people that will understand but also people that won't, u have to choose carefully who u tell. people who suffer anxietys of wotever form u will find will not judge u and will understand alot more then people who dont suffer. when i had my depression years back no one understand and i had to really fight my way back to reality. make sure u know the person and trust them b4 u confide in them. xx

[gtrgrl3369]

I have had OCD for as long as I can remember. I also have anxiety attacks. I am a very outgoing person. I dont know if this will help you but Here goes. People are scared of what they dont understand. I wouldnt tell people you have just met what is going on unless you have an attack in front of them. Some people will be understanding and some will want to help you. People who kow me know what I have and understand. I dont hid it from anyone because that makes me feel like I should be ashamed of who I am and Im not. I make jokes out of it when it gets bad so it doesnt scare people. When you find that special person, let them know whats going on and dont feel bad. Don try so hard at finding her and she will fall into your lap. Remember also that thoughts are just what they are thoughts. They dont make you a bad or crazy person. Things will get better. Always look up.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Phil,

Sorry you feel so out of touch.

It sounds as though you are caught up in a cycle of worry about the future. It's possible that you may be worrying about events which may never happen.

Maybe you are feeling low right now? Our minds can play all kinds of horrible tricks on us when we are in a depressed state and we can paint the worst possible pictures for ourselves.

Hope I don't sound like I'm lecturing. I don't know why or how your previous relationship or marriage ended, but just because it did, this doesn't mean you are destined for a future of further unhappiness.

Let's say you don't find the right woman for a long time...SO WHAT?
Doesn't make you a freak and there are worse things than being alone sometimes.

By the way...well done for coming off medication. A very courageous and difficult step to take. Give yourself a big positive for that one.

What's normal anyway? I know anxiety can be such a b****h, and so difficult to make sense of when we are in it's grip. It creates so much confusion as well. Keep working on coping with it though, as I try to with mine.

Hope this helps mate...

Take care