Hi

I really love that phrase "kick arse" so wish I could!!!

I am the same. I am not working and both daughters have left the nest. Youngest went back to uni yesterday and I feel very sad.

All I ever think is "what the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life" just like you Charlie.

You do have the children still at home which is good and I'm sure they keep you busy. It is lonely when the kids are at school during the day. All your friends are working - yes I can well believe that - how many stay at home mums are there now! Annoys me actually.

I just do not know what to do with myself. I walk the dog and stuff but the days are boring and lonely and I get very very depressed and the anxiety can kick in when you are doing nothing.

I was speaking to my cbt therapist on Friday and I was going on about how I am so scared of where I am going/or not going. She asked me if I have a goal and I said - only to be better. I said I just want a life. She asked me a question "What does having a life look like"? She has asked me to work on this during the week and visualise what having a life looks like.

Well...... I don't really know! I think because my life has been so un normal for the last few years I can't think what a normal life is. Well actually the life I would want is to have some kind of a job, socialise a lot more, have more interest in things etc etc.....I don't have many friends down here in Colchester because it was after moving down here that things went pear shaped. It's hard to make friends when you suffer this illness as well because you are not getting out and about to the sort of places you do make friends.

I personally don't feel confident enough to put myself forward for voluntary work. I think if I could go and do that I could get myself a job.

Charlie are there no stop at home mums likeyourself? Is there anyone you can make friends with at the school gate? Are there any neighbours that you could have a coffee with during the day? It's really really hard Iknow and I wish I could help.

Take carexx