Stopped eating

[choccy25]

Hi all,

I had bad food poisoning a few weeks ago and was seriously sick. I suffer from Emetophobia and agraphobia.

Ever since my food poisoning I have been unable to eat properly. I have constant nausea and panic attacks all the time on the public transport home. I am now so drained and losing weight and I cannot see a way out of it as I am so frightend of being sick again.
I managed to poison myself with my own cooking and that has made things worse.

I dont trust myself not to be nauseated or sick. I KNOW it will happen.

My doc would put me back on AD and I dont want to go onto medication.
I just wish I could relax.

I am sort of in a vicious circle because I am losing weight and it feels good. Its nice to be able to have that control over my eating when everything else is going mad around me.

[milly jones]

hunny could i suggest u get some help regarding ur eating issues

i lost a lot of weight and enjoyed the control, but its not healthy to think that way

pls get help

milly x

[belle]

Hi there.
I can relate to you as i have emetophobia and feel the same after i've had a bug, i never want to eat. But you have to understand that not eating WILL undoubtably make you nauseous. You won't have food poisoning anymore, its your emetophobic mind telling you that you'll be sick again.

If you really DO still feel sick, go and see a doctor for a check up. They'll do blood tests for you.

Just the simple fact that you've mentioned you are actually enjoying losing the weight, i think there might be something more than just worried about getting sick.

I've lived with an eating disorder for too many years and it's RUINED my life. I would, if i was you, get help right away. Its a life threatening state of mind to have. I promise you that.

[beautiful_house]

I've been in the situation that ive eaten something thats made me ill and then dont want to eat again cause of my social anxiety the thoughts of being sick in public makes me have a panic attack. What I've started to do is eat something safe. Which is usually rice...Wash it, use bottled water if you want to cook it in( i use tap water but its an alternative if your really worried) if you want and just have a tiny bit. I make sure I'm on my own and dont have anything I have to go out for so theres no pressure. Because your stomach hasnt had anything in it you will feel full really fast so its important to take your time. Drink some water, if you start to panic put it to one side and try again later. When i was really bad I used to have weight gain shakes, so I knew i was getting something. Cause its a liquid its easier to eat. The long terms effects of not eating will make your attacks worse, you wont be abe to focus and it will make you feel really down...Its taken me a long time to start working my way out of it and I'm by no means cured but these little steps have helped me. If you need anymore advice just ask. BH x

[SharonDerby]

Not eating will make you poorly.
Don't let this get you down, i'm emit and eat only safe foods, that's not the best way to cure i know but i do eat, toast chips etc anything that makes me feel safe, PLEASE EAT SOMETHING.

[choccy25]

Thanks for your replies.

I am not really prepared to go to my doctor as I feel that they wouldnt take me seriously.. there are alot more worthy and worse off people than me. My file at the doctors is massive.. I have been to see that many times they must be sick of me.

I love the control.. I love losing the weight. I love not eating as i know I can work and not worry about the nausea. I can go to meetings and feel like I can listen rather than sweat and panic.

I ate a salad and a small bunch of grapes last night. It churned away and made me miserable. Thankfully I was at home and I had a hot water bottle to help my stomach cope.

I had a colonic the other day to clear my bowel. It was really bad and the food has really been collecting down there and turned nasty.

God I am a mess.

People/ managers at work are starting to notice I have gone from eating lunch to nothing at all. I am coming up with excuses but my highest manager is looking at me with supsicion.

[choccy25]

Just another thing. I ahve lost all faith in my own cooking.

I didnt trust restaurants anyway for the emetophobia, the fact my dad is a Enviro health officer and I have heard that many horror stories.

But to poison myself if absolutely terrifying me.

Sweets, crisps are too fattening and not good for my bowel/IBS

[nettles]

You may not have poisoned yourself at all, but picked up a bug from someone.
You really need to eat, starving the brain means you can't think straight and this will lead to more anxiety, panic attacks and irrational thinking.
Try some plain carbohydrates - wholemeal toast, porridge, rice, noodles, with a bit of veg, it would be highly unusual for anything like that to upset your tummy. It will give you strength, make you calm down and see things more rationally. Treat yourself the way you'd treat someone you love and care about.
Hope you feel better soon.
XXX