i fear for my future and my childs

[janer1]

Hi i think i have social phobia or it could be the avoidant disorder thats been spoken of on here. i'm 27 now and as far back as i can remember i've had serious problems with social situations. but now i have a daughter and i'm so worried for her with how bad that i can get. me and my partner moved from a supported housing into a normal housing estate with our daughter been here a year now and i've got serious issues with the neighbours some days i'm marginaly ok but others i avoid them like the plaque and they are very social people they are fairly good friends with 2 other neighbours on the street. When i first met them all i told them that i get very shy alot and to not think i'm being rude. a year on and they act different the ones who live next door speak to us only cause they live so close but the others barley speak to us atall. i'm so frightend most of the time seeing them everyday its making my life misery and i struggle to look after the place most of the time plus look after my daughter and often the place is in a real state and i'm always worried what they all think of me. i'm always threatning my boyfriend with running away i know that sounds bad but it gets so completly overwhelming most of the time. i've been telling him i want to move somewhere else but he doesn't want to. I could go on but i won't is there anyone out there who gets this bad nearly all of the time? by the way i don't work and rarley go anywhere on my own

[milly jones]

hi hun

im the one diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and taking meds to help it

if u are struggling i suggest that u chat to ur gp

they will do a referral to the local mental health team who will assess u

i was referred for both psychiatrists and psychologists out patients and ongoing weekly treatment

u will then have a social worker, psychaitric nurse and treatment plan written for u

i was offered hospitalisation whilst the meds were sorted

hope this helps a little

milly xx

[janer1]

i am already assigned to the mental health team i have a cpn and i see phychiatrists and phycologists been on it for 10 years now and still here at square 1 :-(

[milly jones]

must just be luck of the postcode draw then hunny

ive only been involved in this for the past 3 years, but it has taken this long to sort the diagnosis, but they are still not entirely sure, hence the antipsychotic meds.

cos this illness cant be tested for, only the symptoms treated i guess its hard to diagnose

all u can do is keep pushing

for me the diagnosis was so helpful, finally being able to undertsand that im not a freak, esp the intimacy side of things

im not frigid, lol, its the illness, hooray

whatever its called its allowed me to try and change what it makes me feel and fight back

pm anytime hunny

mill xx

ps try avoidantpersonality.com, pooh found it for me

[chicken licken]

hi,

I really get what you saying, It could have been my writing your post, I am completley ruled by the fact I have neighbours (which most people do), I never speak to them, I cant Im to scared too, I say hello and the occasional bit of conversation with one neighbour , but thats when Im more cornered and Im silently screaming when that happens, when I read you post I thought , wow! I wish I had been brave enough to just say 'Im really shy please dont think Im being rude' but I didnt and I swear they think Im completley crazy or rude. I avoid them even the ones whos gardens back onto me , I hate being seen even in the garden or going up the drive and in to my garage if I need to, sometimes I shut the curtains incase Im seen heard .. and sit there on the edge jumping at sounds of voices of the neighbours if I hear them outside , especially laughing, I dont think its about me or anything I know there just going about there daily buisness but the lady in the house behind me has the loudest cackle of a laugh ( a laugh that Id love to be confident enough to laugh like myself) but its loud and when I hear her It puts the fear of god in me...
I feel so stupid about it all , it really affects me and my kids too Im sure, the school run is a tramatic experience twice daily , though the last year has been better than previous years , I still dread the home time pick up.
today for the first time ever my daughter is going to a freinds house from school for tea, the mum asked me a couple of days ago, Ive been mega on edge and paniced scince ....... I shouldnt be, theres no problem ....but I am and completley freaked out about the having to breifly interact with the other mum about the invite,

I feel so stupid , and frustrated at how I am and how it effects me.
I always used to be really confident with anyone , pre kids anyway,

do you hate the phone and door ....or even the thought of the doorbell being rung , I do I switch ringer off on the land line and worry incase someone may call .... Its a pain and I find myself trying to hide away in house where I cant be spotted by a potential caller .........

Its awful to live like this I know, and tiring too.
I keep think I want to move and it will be better then , but then I think how would it be or would I just be going backwards by being defeted by it....

Its nice to read Im not alone and I hope you feel that too now you know your not alone on this either.

[chicken licken]

sorry I forgot to say , I also live in a mess and find it hard to keep it together and sort it out as Im so busy with my stupid fear of being seen or heard or having to answer the door, needing to go out and the neighbour are cleaning there car, sitting on there lawn ..... in the street ........ so wont put the bin out .... washing etc.....the windows are there for everyone to see me rather than to look out of seems to stop me in my tracks... and the place grows every messier adding to the problems and what I must look like ....the messier it gets the more I worrier what if people see....the more I worry the less I can get on with sorting the place out .... vicious circle.

[janer1]

Hi chicken licken

Our experiences do seem similar, Have you got a partner or family member/s you feel comfortable around, that you can speak to? At the moment i have been avoiding my next door neighbours like crazy. but my partner has noticed that the lady who lives next door often specificaly avoids him to because when he's come in from out the front or back she appears shortly after so she has slight difficulties to. At weekends it is particularly hard because they have alot of people round and i'm often completly house bound until monday comes. won't even put anything in the wheelie bin.
I hope that you feel even slightly better soon

janer