son at uni

[kazzey]

l feel really silly but l dropped my son off at university, and now there is a big hole in my heart. The house is empty, and l cant go into his bedroom without crying, l cried all the way home and feel emotionally shattered. There doesn't seem to be a purpose in my life at the moment, will it get better?

[kazzie]

Hi Kazzey

Just replied on your other post but yes it will and have another hug

Kaz x x x

[kate]

My son is going on Sunday and I'm dreading it, I keep crying now just thinking about it and he hasn't gone yet

Hopefully we will soon get used to it. Which Uni has he gone to?

Kate

[jodie]

aww

i am sure things will get better hun you will still se plenty of him i am sure

jodie xxx

[robertz]

it will get better.

[CatherineH]

Hi - I remember when my first daughter left for uni many years ago and there was no room in the car for me to go too, because there was too much stuff! She went to Glasgow which seemed so far away. When my husband left with her in the car, I went up to her room and sat in the empty place and cried for ages. I know the painful ache so well.
I found it helpful then to get on with mechanical things and to try and distract myself with doing stuff I enjoyed but didn't take too much effort. You have to let the pain and ache come, not fight it - it's normal and natural and most of us experience it. Accept that it's there, but try and be curious about it - say: 'Oh well, it's here again, but I knew it would be, and it will pass....' Keep telling yourself that it will pass, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Don't listen to those who tell you you're making a fuss, but gradually encourage yourself to get on with your life. Your lovely child isn't gone forever, he's just away for a while and you can feel rightly proud of yourself and him that he's done so well and that he is taking this step.
So have a virtual hug - it does pass, in time, and it's all part of the rites of passage - the pain comes with the joy!!!
love
CathH

[kate]

What a lovely post, Catherine, it's made me all tearful as I too know that going into my sons bedroom will be sooo sad

I know it will get better, just hope it gets better quickly

Kate

[Wenjoy]

Hi - when my son went to uni and left home - I used to sit on his bed and look around the room remembering all the chats and happy times we had together. I used to look at his photo and my heart would swell with pride - I love him very much and I am so proud of him - Im sure its the same for you - a lot of it is pride and a sort of loss - you will move on I promise you - it took me a couple of months and because he was great at e mailing me and texting me I got used to it.

A different story when my daughter left home for uni - I was lucky to get one e mail a month or phone call a month - she is so independent but somehow I didnt feel the loss as much - I guess the first child to go is always the hardest!!!

Hope this helps
Wenjoy xxx

[kazzey]

hi kate
how are you doing?
l am still finding it difficult, the weekends are the worse but its nice to be able to talk about it. l still sit here crying thinking how kind everyone is.
big hugs keep in touch
kazzey

[Cathy V]

My youngest Emma has just gone into her 2nd year studying law, and although her three older brothers and sister had already left home before her it was still a wrench. When she was still at home doing her A-levels the house was full of her music and her girlie pals and boyfriends, so the house was really quiet without her.

The frst time i took her and all her stuff to halls of residence, she cried when it was time for me to leave and i had to pull the car over coz i couldnt see through my own tears...or the windscreen! but we soon settled down into a routine, and she came back quite often and we'd all have a catch-up. I live in germany now and shes been here for the summer and loved it, and i go back and stay with my other daughter and her hubby and see emma there too. Its worked out fine and shes happy.

Its always hard at first but yes it def gets easier. you never stop worrying but you do get used to the empty place...