Update to "He just doesn't get it"

[jcapson]

I decided to email my HB. I did this so I could do this without being interupted (by him or the kids) and because I tend to omit thigs depending on how the convorsation is going or his mood. I felt it necessary to write it all down. He appreciated it. He feels like he needs to walk on egg shells when I get bad (lots of anxiety). I can understand that since I can blow my top in an instant. He gets very frustrated after a long day of me on this rollercoaster of emotions and just wants to be left alone.

He's going to the dr to for something unrelated, but is going to talk to him about getting help to understand and deal with me. He doesn't know what he should be doing or what he should or shouldn't say.

I'm glad I had the courage to email him even though it seemed a little crazy since we live in the same house and sleep in the same bed.

[keepemlaughing]

I don't know what to say that would make you feel any better. Just keep coming to this site. There are great people who DO know what to say!
Welcome.

[Yvonne]

Jenn

In my opinion it's the best way to really convey to people how we really feel. With a conversation - the other party butts in - you lose your thread a bit and it can take ages to get what you really want to say out ... and for that matter undestood.

It's not silly at all to email your HB - with children in the house it would be difficult maybe and you did the right thing.

I'm better on paper than when I speak I think. The shrink gets fed up with me coming in with my two A4 pages of how I have been since our last meeting. However, it is the best way because when I'm with shrink I tend to forget some significant stuff and I feel he has to know. I also type up stuff for my cbt therapist - she likes it lol.

Also, it worked for you - hubby going to seek advice how to deal with it - so you see it was very productive.

Take care.

[bottleblond]

Jenn

Well done and i'm really glad you decided to do that! Sometimes it's easier for us to put our thoughts and feelings into words rather than have to explain them face to face.

If your hub needs any further help or advice, tell him to feel free to join us here on NMP and we will give him as much suport as we do other sufferers.

Best of luck huni and well done again

Love Lisa
xxx

[Lynnann]

I have written letters to my partner in the past, they have a far bigger impact than any discussion I initiate, we talk about the letter afterwards and he listens to what I say; whatever works for both of you

Lynnann

[marie1974]

welldone hun, thats great and i think sometimes writing it down is the best way to get across wot u need to say and to make people listen, i have done this myself recently with my parents.

im glad he is trying to understand u and be supportive he sounds great. hugs to u xxx

[kendo59]

It's great that you have found a way to communicate your feelings to your HB, in a calm & rational manner, without the interruptions & frustration escalating into a confrontational hostile misunderstanding. Well done to you & HB for being on the same team and working together.

[Alisonj]

I think that was a brillant idea! I hope something great comes of it