Hi everyone - help needed

[elle79]

Hi just wanted to say hello to everyone & to say how great i think this website is.

Im really in need of some help & wondered if anyone could offer their advice.
I suffer from really bad panic attacks & very low self esteem - Ive just started university for the 3rd time. I left uni twice before after only being there a few weeks as i was so panicked i couldnt even say my name in front of the other students. I really want to get my dream job but its just that I hate speaking in public. I feel faint, dizzy & sick. I must look really stupid in front of the others. i just want to feel confident. should i take medication? or hypnotherapy? Any advice is really appreciated as nobody knows how stuck i feel.

[bottleblond]

Hi Elle

Welcome to NMP.

You will get lots of help and advice here.

Have a chat to your GP or uni Counsillor regarding your feelings and fears.

Best of luck
Lisa
xxx

[Leslie]

Hi just wanted to say hello to everyone & to say how great i think this website is.

Im really in need of some help & wondered if anyone could offer their advice.
I suffer from really bad panic attacks & very low self esteem - Ive just started university for the 3rd time. I left uni twice before after only being there a few weeks as i was so panicked i couldnt even say my name in front of the other students. I really want to get my dream job but its just that I hate speaking in public. I feel faint, dizzy & sick. I must look really stupid in front of the others. i just want to feel confident. should i take medication? or hypnotherapy? Any advice is really appreciated as nobody knows how stuck i feel.

Hi Elle, I'm new here also but I do know a little about speaking in Public. Ask yourself how successful speakers felt at their first 'performance'? Did they feel nervous? Did they have a plan to help overcome this? Did they practice?

We all feel nervous with something new 'stage fright'. A plan and good preparation can help greatly, small prompt cards to guide you through a talk. Practice alone and in front of a small group of friends who you trust - make a fool of yourself, it won't hurt you and you may learn ways of overcoming your nervousness in safe hands.

Remember that the 'audience' are not your enemies and many will empathise with you. As a speaker it is you who has control, work out what you have to say and deliver your speech in a calm and controlled manner, speak clearly remember the people at the back cannot hear if you mutter, smile this will help relax you and the people you are speaking to. To make eye contact with say 3 separate people in the room is a good idea, it allows you to speak as if to an individual, focus on them or one of them. Often humour can help relax both yourself and others but if you are not comfortable with this don't try it.

Study other speakers, how are they able to carry off their speech? What techniques did they use? What mistakes did they make? How can you make your speaking technique better? Don't copy others but develop your own style and use your personality. We are all capable of being good speakers its a matter of slowly building confidence and technique.

Finaly remember that your feelings are not unique in this area, most of us feel like this and you have many friends who wish you success.

[abacus01b]

Hi elle

You problem isnt that you arnt capable of speaking in public or that you look stupid or silly. You problem is that "you think you would sound and look silly in public.

The root of you problem is i feel connected to someone or something in your past that left you and you felt unable to stop it or control it.

Your feeling are a typical symptom of that. Of course i dont know your back ground but I would search for that fist and then if you realise just what that may be you need to close the book on it.

How to do that is get a page
Draw a line down the centre
On the top of the page right "WHAT IS STOPPING ME"

now the left side is are all the negitive things, the things that worry you. e.g. Fear of being heard, Fear of making a mistake, worried how you look etc etc

On the right side write down thing you feel you are good at and want. e.g. I am quite good at listening, I understand people, I feel for others, I am a good reader, I am patient an so on.

Onec u feel you have written enough on both side have a look down the page and compare what you wrote opposite each negitive and positive thing.

Rememebr not to look at the negitive side when you are writing the positive side down.
That way you are forceing your head to answer your negitive issue.

Ok so you look dow each side and comapere each thing with each thing in line, no matter how different they may appear to be.

By the end of this you will realise that you arnt as afraid to speak in public, it wont matter that much to most people what you do wrong ebcause after 5 mins they wont event remember it most likley. if if they do so what? they dont know u nor will need to in the future.

Second you will right away feel confident and feel more relaxed and more secure in your natural abilitys you will have discovered and programmed your mind to know and realise your true potential.

Hope this helps
Abacus01b

PS Excuse my spelling and writing its a gift i was born with bad spelling.

Right down from the start what you felt about this problem

[milly jones]

we welcome you warmly to
no more panic

love milly xx

[Coni]

Hi Elle,

Im afraid I dont have any worthwhile advice on public speaking as that is something which freaks me out too.

But you will find lots of support on here and there is usually someone who can offer good advice (as you can see already from the replies to your thread)

Just wanted to welcome you and send best wishes.

Coni XXX

[Dazza]

Hi Elle,

Try to get hold of a copy of 'Anxiety and Panic Attacks - their cause and their cure' by Robert Handly. You can get it cheap enough on Amazon etc.

He specifically talks about how he used to have a fear of pubic speaking, but he overcame it and he now speaks to large audiences worldwide!

I've been reading the book and have found his approach very useful.

[lorac]

Hi Elle

Welcome to the site I am sure you will get some good advice and support on here. I found a book by Dr Claire Weekes really useful, you can get it from the library or buy it on Amazon.

Take care

Carol

[elle79]

Just wanted to say thankyou to you all for our advice. Feel really reassured that I can hopefully be on the way to beat my worries. I'm going to try & be positive & use this forum alot. Thanks again, love to you all, Elle.

[pooh]

Hi there and welcome along to NMP

Pooh x