I know I make a bunch of new threads but I feel like my life is bobbing up and down..and I am just along for the ride...even if I dont want to be.
I am just bogged down.
I live with my grandmother...Mainly because I am afraid of hurting her...(She has hinted alot since I turned 18 that she needs someone around)
I dont mind helping her at all! But she treats me like total crap and then gets pissy when I get snappy.
Example...I do ALOT of house work and she comes home and gets mad because "I dont do anything around the house"
Also I am my 12 year old sisters temporary legal guardian...Which I am used to...but everytime I ground her for being naughty...my grandmother goes behind my back and lets her do whatever she wants!
How is my sister supposed to respect me as her guardian if Every little thing I do is undermined be her? My sister has gotten to where If I punish her...she gets up in my face and threatens to hit me/ and tells me that she wants me to die.
I cant take much more of this...I have sacrificed so much to be there for my sister, I have stopped going to high school so that I can handle everything and work more hours. ...and I feel like Im just being used...
Not to mention that Everytime I get a panic attack...my grandmother treats me like "Oh here we go again" and completely treats me liek a big waste of time.
I am recently engaged and I want to move out with my fiance (Obviously...) I will not marry him while I am living with my grandmother.
But she makes me feel so guilty about wanting a life of my own.
One last thing I forgot to mention is the just about everytime we get in a fight she pulls out every guilt trip she has..AKA
-Her age
-How stressful her job is
-How I supposedly treat her like crap
-That she is going to die soon (She has also said this along with "How will you feel after that!?")
-Just everything...
I am sorry for the length of whiny-ness of this..But I really needed someone to vent to. My fiance is asleep and I dont want to wake him, haha.
Thanks for reading.