Travel anxiety

[andyd]

Please can some help . I feel like I am going out of my mind . I have had panic attacks since I was young (I'm 35 , they started when I was about 12)

The panic used to occur over non specific things when I was younger , but now it's about travelling and flying . I have travelled quite a lot these last five years , dubai twice first , then around europe . I have only just recently come back from a 3 week holiday in gran canaria . But now my wife wants to go to dubai again for 16 days this christmas to see here dad , the original plan was to all meet in gran canaria for christmas ( having done it before , I felt nervous but not to the point of panic ) but due to flight costs they have decided to go out to dubai instead .
I thought at the time (and having had a few drinks) this would be ok . But now I am panicing so much I have told my wife I can't do it .

I am so worried how this is affecting our relationship and because of my past behaviour with panic and her , I fear this maybe the final straw and if I don't go , she will tell me to leave . I don't want to disappoint her or my 6 year old daughter . I feel so low , I am actually crying while I write this .

I have tried everything to cure this , medication doesn't really help , my doctor has said "maybe you will never be cured of this , it's just something you have to manage " . I've tried counselling and hypnotherapy but it has still come back again .

Anyone help ?

[emma81]

Hi Andy

I wish i could offer you some words of wisdom but right now my agoraphobia prevents me from going more than a few miles without a panic attack so I am probably not the best person. However i do completely understand how terrifying it is when you feel like you are letting your loved ones down and when you start realising you can't keep plans because the fear is so overwhelming.

The only suggestions I can really think of are that you still have a good few weeks before you would have to travel and although you may have found medication and alternative therapies not so helpful in the past perhaps you could try a few sessions of something like hypnotherapy over the coming weeks specifically aimed at travelling/flying phobias. I had my 1st session of hypno yesterday and it really has calmed me down a bit and left me more positive about what i can achieve.

Also i am sure if you speak to your GP about how bad the panic is both in the lead up to, and the actual travel - i am sure he will give you some medication to help such as Diazepam. They dont work wonders for me either but they take the edge off particularly bad situations, and although this is completely against medical advice, you would probably find if you had one the night before, one in the morning and one before you boarded the plane then had a drink it would probably make you sleep through most of the journey!

Sorry i cant offer any more words of wisdom but i would think that the best thing you can do is use the time before you have to go to try and relax yourself as best as possible and try explaining to your wife just how bad things are for you and your fears about letting her down or committing to something and then finding you cant do it at the time. If she is aware of how bad things are hopefully she will be understanding and not push you too much for the moment.

I wish you all the best,
Emma

[keepemlaughing]

I agree with Emma. It would be a shame for you to miss out on Christmas with your family. Try to explain your feelings to you doctor. I am sure there is something they can give you for the anxiety.
Hope all goes well.
Sheryl

[andyd]

I agree with Emma. It would be a shame for you to miss out on Christmas with your family. Try to explain your feelings to you doctor. I am sure there is something they can give you for the anxiety.
Hope all goes well.
Sheryl

I've tried , for years to get help via a doctor and hypnotherapy (it's amazing how many hypnotherapists seem more like snake oil salesmen).

I've talked about it with my wife , she was offended that I thought she would be that shallow to think that she would kick me out . Funny how panic can change you perspective of someone .

[Veronica H]

Hi Andyd
Have you tried a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'Self help for your nerves' published by Thorsons ISBN 978-0-7225-3155-6. I cannot recommend this enough as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. Her recordings can be downloaded free to your MP3 from the NMP Shop too.
I hope your wife wasn't too offended as panic is not a rational thing when you are in the middle of it.

Veronica

[andyd]

Hi Andyd
Have you tried a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'Self help for your nerves' published by Thorsons ISBN 978-0-7225-3155-6. I cannot recommend this enough as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. Her recordings can be downloaded free to your MP3 from the NMP Shop too.
I hope your wife wasn't too offended as panic is not a rational thing when you are in the middle of it.

Veronica

No , rationality goes out of the window ! I will try the mp3's

I'm hoping I can get some help through work , they have a stress coucillor (sp) and I've just found a therapist through the BABCP website .

I suppose the good news is that there seems to be a lot more information and research and treatment available since last time I looked for help .

Thanks


Will keep you all informed , just in case I find the miracle cure .

[mf]

Please can some help . I feel like I am going out of my mind . I have had panic attacks since I was young (I'm 35 , they started when I was about 12)

The panic used to occur over non specific things when I was younger , but now it's about travelling and flying . I have travelled quite a lot these last five years , dubai twice first , then around europe . I have only just recently come back from a 3 week holiday in gran canaria . But now my wife wants to go to dubai again for 16 days this christmas to see here dad , the original plan was to all meet in gran canaria for christmas ( having done it before , I felt nervous but not to the point of panic ) but due to flight costs they have decided to go out to dubai instead .
I thought at the time (and having had a few drinks) this would be ok . But now I am panicing so much I have told my wife I can't do it .

I am so worried how this is affecting our relationship and because of my past behaviour with panic and her , I fear this maybe the final straw and if I don't go , she will tell me to leave . I don't want to disappoint her or my 6 year old daughter . I feel so low , I am actually crying while I write this .

I have tried everything to cure this , medication doesn't really help , my doctor has said "maybe you will never be cured of this , it's just something you have to manage " . I've tried counselling and hypnotherapy but it has still come back again .

Anyone help ?

Hi There

I flew quite regularly when i was younger and when i got married went on quite a few long haul flights but have not been able to face getting on a plane for about 9 yrs, my husband regularly flies with his job and has accumulated quite a few air miles and is often trying to persuade me to get on a plane again.. I think that the longer i have left it the worse my fear/anxiety has become and with 9/11 well that really did not help.. Because of my fears our holidays have either involved driving to France or the odd cruise or uk breaks and i do feel guilty because my husband just wants me to get on a plane again.. I am for the first time considering taking a flight to Germany, although its not booked yet, i do know that i will have to take some medication to just calm me down because i will not contemplate it otherwsie, i have some lorazepam which i use in emergencies and will just take half a tab a few hrs before boarding... I know that there are some courses that you can go on to overcome your fear of flying, but i am not convinced that that will work for me...Sorry i am not much help Andy but you are not alone, i know quite a few men that have a fear of flying and one in particular who is now in his sixties and quite comfortably off so its not that he cannot afford it, he has never flown in his life because has always been too afraid... Speaking for myself i do find it really frustrating that i dont remember having these fears when i was younger but now in my forties i seem to have developed so much anxiety/panic.