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[Michaela]

Hello everyone

I have suffered from anxiety for the past 13 or so years and have obviously had spells where it has been bad as well as good.

Recently I seem to have unfortunately attached my anxiety particularly to my gorgeous partner, and the fear of losing him or not being in our relationship is more than I can stand at times. Then it seems to leave me just as quickly as it came and I can enjoy happy times with him.

Has anyone else had problems with relationship issues, or is it just me?

Don't get me wrong, I can easily be distracted to focus on another anxiety issue if it comes up, but when I have nothing else to worry about, it seems to be him. I hate it because he is the loveliest, most kind and caring individual you could care to meet and I just want to get on with my life with him without the worry!

Meg's comments to others have already been useful but I seem to need constant reminders to realise it is just anxiety and not a "real" issue.

Michaela

[sadie]

Hi Michaela

I do think youre fears are a result of your anxiety. We all focus on different areas of our lifes or our bodies when we are under stress and suffer anxiety. To be honest mine has always been focused on my body and the symptoms I experience. Although, I do like most fear that I will die of a heart attack or something of similar catastrauphic origins when experiencing a panic attack, but sometimes I worry about loosing my husband or him loosing me and how would we cope. I also worry about loosing my parents and other close members of my family but I guess everyone does to an extent. These feelings are not as bad as they used to be, I think you learn to deal with them and need to put things into perspective. My husband always says to me..'you could get killed by a bus tommorrow god forbid but whats the point of worrying about something that may never happen'!!

I think as you learn to do with your anxiety, these thoughts will lessen. Try not to worry too much about them, they are part of your anxiety and will disappear eventually. Try not to think about 'what ifs' etc as that just escalates these thoughts. Try to 'live in the here and now' and relax as much as you can.

Take care

sadie

[Meg]

Hi Michaela,

It's just another obsessive thought, much like any other .

Thoughts - just thoughts, they have no meaning or instruction attached to them unless you choose to make them so. The subject is fairly inconsequencial, tomorrow you may see a headline and become focussed on that instead.

One of the well known anxiety programmes say that these obsessive thoughts really mask something bigger that we're afraid to/should deal with.

I personally think that our brains are used to being so active that if there is nothing new or pressing to worry about it has a few pet choice subjects that it will revert to in any down time and family is often one of these.

Let them come, smile at how dramatic and extreme you can be and let them drift away to be replaced by something else stronger and bolder - but of your own choosing.

Enjoy your relationship, Has he got a reliable brother for Charlie ? lol



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Lottie32]

Hi Michaela

Can't believe you wrote this - thought it was just me! (my post is in Misc). I know exactly what you mean. The difficult thing is that although I know that I am doing it, I seem to self destruct and can't stop myself. Does that make sense?

Meg

Thanks for the matchmaking!!!! Maybe we should have a matchmaker topic for all the singletons out there! Mind you, not sure how many replies we'd get if we were all truthful!

Female, 33, tall and slim with dark hair, totally neurotic, prone to irrational behavious and strange actions. Suffers from extreme mood swings, needs plenty of assurance, can be normal and amusing on occassion.Seeks Male, over 6 ft. Must be caring, willing to listen, 150% supportive (even when you know she's wrong), willing to drop all arrangements at last minute in order to stop in when things get too much. Must be willing to have conversations through bathroom doors, to include coaxing, usually 10 minutes before need to leave house. And must be willing to accept that he will always be late from now on. Much love affection and laughter to give in return, but may be sporadic, and not at appropriate times (usually 5am when can't sleep)

Think I need to fine tune my advert a bit first!

Thanks


Charlie

[nomorepanic]

LOL Charlie

That cracked me up - I would get the add out there quick!!


Nicola

[Michaela]

Hello everyone
I am so thankful to you all for your replies. My other half is
just the best person you could ever meet and unfortunately doesn't
have a brother, but if I find anyone like him I will post his
details on here straight away.
Sadie your description of requirements for a relationship is so
funny and it is amazing that my partner loves me enough to put up
with the general anxiety tish tosh that I come up with. It's like
a habit forming drug, I agree with your comments Meg and understand
that they are ludicrous and to laugh at them will be helpful. It
is so nice to know that you are all here to help and understand
exactly what I am talking about.
THANKS!!! It really does make such a difference.
xx

[Meg]

Charlie,

I can pass you on a couple of 'tall' websites for introductions.

Currently have in email tow , a lovely sounding fireman from London - very nice Pic but getting to the want- to - meet stage, also 2 chaps from USA so they're very safe until one decided to jump on a plane to see me. I had to talk him out of that one quickly. He was just pressing the 'book' buttons ...... eeek.

Think Gary might have something to say about him turning up , he has enough troubles with genuine ex's arriving form round the globe or ringing with no concern for hour differences

All guaranteed 6 foot + or pervy !!

Meg

[nomorepanic]

Meg

If you have any spare then can you bring one with you on Sunday - I am sure Alex won't mind - lol

Nicola

[Lottie32]

Ooh scarey

(But I will give it another go). Met a bloke from an internet dating thing, and lets just say we should have stuck to e-mails.

He was transluscent. Had the narrowest shoulders ever. Smelt of leather (or was it cows). And started every question with the word gosh.

We no longer communicate because I said I didn't fancy him and he said I'd broken his heart. Purlease - we had only swapped emails and shared a few conversations.

Charlie

p.s. Is there a site for tall people who are looking for mad girlfriends with issues?

Charlie

[Meg]

Well, I know some tall mad men with issues ?!?

Meg