Should I have a baby?!

[fairyloveheart]

I know that's a q only I can really answer, but I am in a quandry about it.
I want to have a baby, and had always hoped that this would happen this year, but since my facial pain started last Dec, I've thought, no - i'll wait till this is sorted before I even think about it properly. Nearly a year on now, and I don't know whether I should wait even longer, but is my pain going to get sorted or is it just going to continue, in which case I will be waiting forever.

Will I cope with actually being pregnant (that's if I can get pregnant anyway - as I always think negatively that I won't be able to anyway)

My parents say, once you have something else to worry/think about it, your pain will probably go away! I've read articles about pregnancy making sinus pain worse which worries me, and then I think how will I cope if I do have a baby and my face pain gets worse - I won't be able to retire to bed all the time if I have a baby to look after - so what will I do then...

ARGH

Any advice/thoughts??? :(

[Trixie]

Are you wanting a baby to take your mind of things because I don't think it will?

I don't suffer from HA but I was poorly when I was expecting my oldest and if I did it would have been a big worry.

It is a massive decision to have a child you are responsible for their welfare and upbringing. Could you cope with this?

Do you have a partner?

[fairyloveheart]

Hi Trixie

I wanted a baby before the problems with my face pain started and I had hoped to put it on hold till it got better, I agree with you that having a baby would not take my mind off it - it's my family who keep telling me that!

I just don't want to miss the boat and then regret that I didn't just go for it...because of my pain and that's why I am in such a quandry. I'm 30 now and always imagined I would have a baby by now - but life never quite goes to plan!

Interestingly my sister has HA (you think i'm bad - she's worse!!!!!) and she has had 3 children - and says strangely she feels a lot better during her pregnancy and doesn't worry about things..... but no, that's not why I want one!

I am married yes and my hubby is very supportive.

I wish I could wake up one day and feel certain one way or another!

[Cathy V]

Hi fairy, what a dilema. Is it true that pregnancy can make sinus problems worse? ive never heard this i must admit and ive had sinus pain off and on for many years. Ok, its not part of my HA (thats my heart, and i remember coming around after having my last baby and asking the nurses if my heart was ok ) but its obviously your health fear. But in all of the books ive read about pregnacy ive never read that it can make sinus pain worse. Where did you hear it?

Cathy xxx

[fairyloveheart]

Various books and websites seem to mention it. One website I've been looking at:

The hormones of pregnancy may cause the lining of your nose and sinuses to swell, so you feel continually blocked up and stuffy. Hormones are also to blame for dilatation (widening) of the tiny blood vessels in your nose, a change that increases the chance of nosebleeds. This enhanced blood supply may also cause increased mucus production, so your nose is always runny.
Swelling in your sinuses can sometimes cause pain in your cheeks and behind your eyes, and may contribute to headaches. Nasal stuffiness and a runny nose can sometimes be due to sensitivities and allergies.

Also - I don't know whether to start the medication I've been given for the pain - not sure it will work anyway as is for nerve pain, but then I couldn't take it for very long anyway if I decided to try for a baby!

[Cathy V]

Fairy, is the pain really bad for you and is it a sure thing that pregnancy will make it work, or only a possibility? I guess it comes down to phobia versus longing...ouch! xxx

[Cathy V]

...sorry that should read 'make it worse' not work!

[Oceanblue]

Hi,

I don't suffer with ha, but I do have Bi-polar aswell as General Anxiety.

I have two children.

My pregnancies - Other than the first few months suffering from terrible sickness, the rest of my pregnancy time was the best I've 'ever' felt in my entire life !

For some girls though, they can feel quite ill all throughout, so I guess I was lucky there.

It's great to have kids, they have put so much happiness into my life.

You may find that once you've had a baby, you will constantly worry if he/she is ok etc. Your focus will probably turn around to your child, but then I guess this is only natural, especially for us anxiety sufferers.

Good luck

[Trixie]

Hi Trixie

I wanted a baby before the problems with my face pain started and I had hoped to put it on hold till it got better, I agree with you that having a baby would not take my mind off it - it's my family who keep telling me that!

I just don't want to miss the boat and then regret that I didn't just go for it...because of my pain and that's why I am in such a quandry. I'm 30 now and always imagined I would have a baby by now - but life never quite goes to plan!

Interestingly my sister has HA (you think i'm bad - she's worse!!!!!) and she has had 3 children - and says strangely she feels a lot better during her pregnancy and doesn't worry about things..... but no, that's not why I want one!

I am married yes and my hubby is very supportive.

I wish I could wake up one day and feel certain one way or another!

Well go for it then.....................

Sometimes the responsibility for an other persons welfare takes paramount importance over your own.

When they first told me about my brain thing my only concern was for my two children who are 26 and 24. I have always been there for them and are both at home (one doing his second degree the other has OCD, agoraphobia, social paranoia etc).

I was thirty when I had my son (mind you I didn't get married until my late twenties). I had the most awful morning/ afternoon/ evening and if I woke up in the night sickness but it was all worth it.

Time is passing us by very quickly so if you feel ready as I said before go for it.

[jojo2316]

Just one thought....... having babies is the best thing i've ever done and I've experienced love like no other.... BUT I didn't have HA at all before the birth of my son 11 months ago..... so having a baby might make things worse. But on the other hand it might make things better too. On reflection I'd say go for it, because if you don't it may be a life-long regret.....