A Month has passed

[kittykat]

A month has passed since my mum has died and it just keeps getting harder.I cant stop thinking about her, i went to wash some clothes today and came across some clothes of hers they smelled of her, cant explain how that made me feel just sat there crying, little things like going to asda , having a coffee sets me off and seeing people that kinda look like her, my heart is broken , dont think i'll ever get over this or be happy again.
I know i have to be strong for the children and my husband, but inside im screaming im not okay im dying here.I'm so sad she was taken too soon, she'll miss out on so many things, things that i want to share with her.
So many mistakes were made , symptoms not picked up on. Its my birthday on Friday and the one person that i need to be there wont be.Im so sorry for ranting on, but i just feel ther is no light at the end of the tunnel. I had what you would say a strong faith but now i just dont know, why hasn't she come to tell me she's okay?
I need to get to the end of that tunnel but i just cant see it.
I just miss her so much, she was my best friend and the best mum and gran. I'll never forget her. Mum i'll always love you xx

[kazzie]

Hey Kitty

I soooo feel your pain hunny

I promise you that things will get better, I know you dont think so right now but please trust me

Just give it some time sweetie

I lost both my parents when i was 23 within 10 weeks of each other

Just think of your mum in a nice place

PM me if you want

Kaz x x x

[titch]

AWW hun i cant even begin to imagine what it mut be like but it will get easier to handle hun... your mum is not in pain anymore shes in peace and maybe in a better place..hugs for u hun..pm me if u ever need a chat...xxx

[jodie]

hiya hunni

i am so sorry about your mum

i to can feel your pain i know there is not a lot i can say that will make all this feel better time will do that hun .
it will do you good to talk about your mum and how you are feeling it helps so much ,we are all here for you hunni

jodie xxxx

[bumbles]

I a so sorry a month is nothing it is still really raw. I used to like to smell my mum and dads clothes when they had gone it is a comfort I have still got some of thier clothes Mum died 21 years ago and Dad 18 years ago. You will never stop missing her but it does get easier but a month is no time be kind to yourself. X

[weeble40]

aww big hugs for you kittykat, am in the same situation as you at mo having lost my dad 2 months ago, if you need to chat or just want to moan please feel free to PM me

Emma xxx

[moonlighta]

Oh God, Kittykat!
You must have had such a good relationship. WE never get over something like this, but learn to live with it , and the pain does get easier. Sounds as though you had a good relationship, which no one can take away from you - think of the memories! My mum is still alive though 85 and in respite care this week - I envy you, my mum has hated me all my life (although I'm principal carer and she lives with me ((I'm trying to do my best even after the way she has treated me!)) A relationship between mother and daughter should be like yours - I'm sure you have loads of happy memories, so focus on those. I've never been good enough for my mum, even though I'm not that bad!! I would hate to think my daughter (she's 18) felt like that about me. We're close, so I know we will be ok. My dad on the other hand, died suddenly in January 06 - is still miss him big time. He was cool!! Take care and if you want to talk.... I'm here. XXXXX

[stace81]

i cant imagine what its like to lose a parent my heart goes out to you hun. A month is such a short space of time it will still be so raw, you are doing great dont expect too much of yourself.
(((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

[kittykat]

I just want to say thank you for all your kind thoughts and replies , i'm so sorry for all of you that have lost people close to you, its so horrid I really wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Moon i'm so sorry you don't get on with your mother, but i'm so glad you have that special bond with your daughter it will be a comfort within itself, and emma what can I say you must be feeling awful as well.
Anyway just want to say thanks again this site has so many special and caring people on it ,now I know within myself i'll get through these days to come because of all you caring folk

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Kittykat,

First of all please let me say I'm so sorry for your loss and I know my words cannot touch your grief. Your words, however, express exactly how I feel about losing my Grandmother. Now granted she did not go young but still the pain is there. When I go and visit her home where I have now been twice I walk into her closet and just stand there smelling her clothes and cry. It has been 5 months for me. The first month you are just raw and I can't imagine how you must feel when it is your Mom. Just cry hun and get it out and feel the pain until it eases some. Hold those clothes and hug them. I have found wearing my Grandmother's nightgown has helped me. I feel closer to her. I also have a strong faith in God but didn't understand why he would allow someone with my anxiety witness her leaving. I now realize it was for her comfort. You will get through it and know she is smiling at you and proud of you. Don't look for her because she is always beside you.

Love,

Laura xxx