I WISH I HADN'T TOLD HER

[Lottie32]

Lucky

I understand that it not at all easy, and you should listen to the AA - she is the only one who can stop, so don't feel guilty.

I think you can e-mail the AA now, or alternatively the Samaritans (I know you're not suicidal, but they provide trained counsellors who can help you come to terms with it).

I could never get my head round it too. Al was a skilled craftsman, who actually enjoyed his job, and could have earnt a decent wage if he'd gone to work often enough! He had a nice cosy little house in a nice location, friends and family who cared for him, a gorgeous daughter, the world was his oyster really.

And he through it all away because he liked his beer too much!!!!!!

Why??? I know life can be sh** sometimes, and when I was feeling really bad, it was certainly tempting sometimes to "give up", I think something inside just makes some alcoholics just "switch off".

He has been in and out of rehab ever since.

Thats really terrible about your mum living like that, but always remember that she has a choice, and try not to feel any sort of guilt or blame.

I hope this is helping somehow Lucky, because I am finding it quite hard to know what to say. I just keep remembering all that Al through at me, and how despondent and helpless it made me feel.

Did she get any help in hospital, other than nursing, i.e. counselling? If she knew the hospital was her last chance, didn't they follow up her discharge with some help at home? Maybe you could do something positive, and help her that way?

Love

Charlie

[Laurie28]

Hiya Charlie,

I'm sorry u are finding it difficult to tal about this. Please don't feel you have to reply, i won't be offended or hurt i just had to get all this off my chest to peoplwe who i consider to be my friends but don't know me (if that makes any sense at all!!!)

Your listening and advise has been great Charlie

my mum know has someone to make her meals and help with housework etc

Love
lucky

[Shelley]

My mum found it hard to believe that I had been suffering from panic (always been the really cock sure and happy go lucky type), so I dont talk to her about it I think it upsets her. I just rely on friends for support I find it best that way. She was sweet but it was a case you'll get over it kind of thing. Apparently she had suffered when she was about my age - doesnt anymore so here's hopping that I will just get over it

x

Shell

[Laurie28]

The thing about mothers is that they can't help but worry Shelley, I hope u do get 'over it' soon like your mum did and you know that we are all here to 'talk' whenever you need to

love
Lucky

[Lottie32]

Lucky

I didn't mean I found it hard like that - just hard to find something to say to make you feel better!!!!!

I also wondered if the hospital could do follow up visits. It's great that they have spent three weeks sorting her out in hospital, but it seems a waste as well, because without the right support, surely all she is going to do on her release is drink again (which she has done), and get caught up in the spiral, until she is in the same position again.

I think one of the best things about this forum is that you can say as much or as little as you want, and nobody knows who you are or will judge you, but there is a feeling of being amongst caring friends! Its odd, but it seems to help!

Maybe Meg can advise on what "after care" treatment is available. I am presuming that she is having nothing at the minute!

Love

Charlie

[Laurie28]

Charlie,

You listening to me has made me feel better as I have got alot off my chest.

I don't think there is any aftercare from the hospital.

1 week though Charlie she never gave anyone a chance.

She wants to die she has told me as much. her life is over she has no qulaity of life and she has damaged the nerves in her legs and will never walk properly again. She has been left with severe incontinence through her abuse. I can't argue with that Charlie.

She really genuinely wants to die. She says she won't do anything 'stupid' though as she has tried it b4.

She is taking anti-depressants and stuff as well

Love
Lucky

[Lottie32]

Lucky

For once I'm lost for words

Thats tragic, and I really feel for you. We are all here if you need to "get it off your chest".

Al tried to commit suicide too, but I rescued him (on my own in the middle of the night carrying a 13st bloke over dry stone walls in the middle of the tors, whilst wearing heels - boy has my life been fun filled) - but the stupid bas***d couldn't even get that right. The doctor had very cleverly prescribed anti-depressants of the sort that don't kill you if you take too many. That was hard for me, so I can't imagine what it must have been like for you.

It's a very sorry story, but also a frustrating one, because you know it didn't have to be like that. It's a shame she couldn't get more professional support, particularly after hospital, if she really did want one more last chance for herself.

Love

Charlie

[Laurie28]

Thanks for listening to me all afternoon Charlie

I appreciate your replies very much.

It's amazing I have been living with my mothers problem since I was 6 months old and i think i have got used to it then something happens i get my hopes up and BANG it's blown again.

As i said thanks very much Charlie

Love
Lucky