hi all,
It seems there are a few of us on a downer lately, me included.. so I have basically been reading the replies as they apply to me too rather than posting another post.. do you think blips are not only part of recovery but a failing in our acceptance to our condition/illness? this last week although i've had no PA's or no tears, I feel I have been very contemplative about, why me? why now? why have i had to defer uni cos of this? etc.. these thoughts all stem to hating what has happened to me.. and to a degree being annoyed with myself for not coping better or letting it happen in the first place.
I think and I know, when I accept it HAS happened and to not fight it, I feel better.. but its the acceptance I am finding so so difficult.. Especially when you have been 'up' for a while.. the blips make you lose confidence that is so hard to build back up again..
Not sure if i'm writing this for me or you or all of us.. I guess once we accept we are almost there.. I just need to grab a hold of it!
thanks for reading!
Lisa
xxx
"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"