NOT VISITORS AGAIN!

[hillamanda]

Hello everyone,
Despite being well on the road to recovery, I still often feel agitated when I have visitors around - its as if my senses are overstimulated and a can get quite jittery. I find this bloomin' annoying as I am happy to see family and friends and don't want to feel nervy around them. Having read many stories on this site, I seem to be the opposite to many people who see their siblings and friends as a support/prop in their challenge to overcome anxiety. I actually prefer my own company and deal far better in stressful situations when on my own, for instance, shopping is far more stressful with my husband and daughter around. I seem to be able to calm my senses when on my own but find it hard when with others who are chatting away and expecting lively conversation back. Does anyone else have this particular problem and have you any tips on cushioning my nervous system when visitors come?

a hill

[seh1980]

Sometimes I really want people to come around and other times I just want to be left alone. It really does depend on the day. Sometimes, when I have friends over, I get very nervous and shaky for no reason. It's almost like I feel exposed. The more times I have people over though, the more I get used to it..

Sarah

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[BrandyK]

I get like that too... But would be lonely if I blocked everyone out!!

Brandy

[henri]

hi there,
i get that too - i had my two best friends and their partners over for dinner a few weeks ago and i had to nip into the bedroom half way through the meal to down some diazepam because i could feel myself beginning to panic. it's ridiculous - i've been friends with them since i was 10 and they couldn't be nicer.
i think it's to do with this fear of having to make lively conversation or fulfil what we think are their expectations. in reality, they are our friends and won't be expecting anything but we still put the pressure on ourselves.
i've started staggering the time that people arrive, to give me time to slowly adjust, rather than have a load of people turn up on my doorstep at once.
hope that helps!
henri x

[basics]

I find it a lot easier to be on my own. I always worry about panicking and feeling anxious but I think if it happens when I'm on my own, atleast no one is there to see it.

If I go shopping I prefer to go on my own for the same reason - I would rather freak out in public around people I don't know than around friends and family. I would be really embarassed if I was with people I knew.

[pauline]

Hi

I'm the same and find i get very anxious when poeple are around even though it is friends who know i suffer with panic. The sad thing is i am very lonely and want friends to come around but at the same time i'm terrified incase the anxiety gets out of control and i make a fool of myself and the the stupid thing is i have never done that.

I have a lovely friend who i found of the internet she lives in York she knows about my anxiety and though she would love me to go visit her she knows i could not manage that at the moment. She was coming down to stop with me for the weekend a few weeks ago and i cancelled it i never told her the real truth which was i new the anxiety would be high with her there and i would just want her to go well its not as if she had just come from down the road. Speaking for myself i thinks this anxiety is from the fact we do not want to show ourselves up incase as we think we do fall apart. I think its a difficult one to get over.

Take care
Pauline

[silver blaze]

I too am very lonely but find when I do get visitors I am so anxious, and when I'm anxious I feel ill, so I just want them to go, so I can get back to my comfort zone when I close the door and they are going I say thank god for that , I can relax now. Awful feeling even when it's your family that are visiting

[Magic]

I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way. Even the shopping thing.

[helenclaire]

I like to be on my own, just as well really as my husband works long hours.
When he is home I feel pressurised into doing things and going places.
I like to do things at my own pace.
I hate having visitors as I have to make an effort then.
I do prefer to have my husband with me when shopping though as talking can help if I feel panic coming on.